Howdy, I appear to have inadvertently “blocked” myself from putting anything here other than letters. I appreciate the help quitting but that does not reduce the craving.
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I suppose I will see about seeing you next Friday, then.
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Friday, March 1: I tried to put something here, but it didn’t work. I can’t much blame it.
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Only 2.5 more months until I get to find a new excuse for less than timely updates.
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The creative hirsute to which this belongs yet progresses at an agonizingly slow pace.
None the less/wiser it continues, page 53 of this, then. The first since August. Ideally there will be another before next August. I expect to have less pressing matters then as I had a year ago, and ideally this will be because I have entered a reasonable post-college existence and not because I have absolutely no employable skills.
This was hard to draw. That is the one benefit of my usual megaman perspective; much less resketching. I still can’t draw bicycles very well, or even as well as ten years ago, evidently.
Regarding the picture sequence itself, situation is not at all plausible, but since it is purely a visual anomaly it is not a “plot hole.” It can be “filled” by showing the imps jumping on a convenient trampoline in a replacement for the offending frames or any number of escape measures. That would probably also take 2 months (I resumed this in December) so perhaps I will leave it as it is for now and see if I like it better later.
It was meant to resolve the longstanding half-page issue, but then that would break this sequence in half, and it is terribly cramped anyhow, so I may have to insert another half page worth of material somewhere earlier, later in addition to the replacement frames also to come later that will exist in the present and not be earlier. By then it will be earlier, though, so perhaps this is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I’VE BEEN DECOUPAGED
I also removed words from some frames because they weren’t flowing like they were supposed to. They still aren’t!
A few times ago I talked about dogs. Here are some cat things, because I have been conditioned to imagine there is some sort of instinctual rivalry between the two species because I watch cartoons.
Please do not be tempted to go diving wearing an old timey helmet but without any means for obtaining oxygen. This cat is an experienced professional who trained under… water, I imagine.
Your skepticism is well placed! That is an absurd notion, considering that you are not a cat.
Are you likewise “tempted” to wear a diaper or to dress your cat in one? If so, you probably have an easier time relating to people on the internet than I do and thus I have no right to criticize you.
Here is some cat food for… oh excuse me that is Frito’s brand bean dip. It is a substance that you dip your beans into. The frito layers pack it in cat food cans to fool their enemies, the beans, who dislike being dipped, but enjoy cat food. Beans are ignorant of the ways of the world. Well, some are, anyway.
Santa Claus only takes/leaves the finest steroid jelly beans. I assume he returns them when he is finished with them, because these are the kind of steroids that improve your skill at making steroids. Additionally, since these aren’t approved by dopes they are therefore legal and Santa gets to keep his sponsorship deals and continue appearing in advertisements like this, and more importantly
he gets to continue cycling unstripped.
for it appears we have challengers. Very resourceful ones, at that; Although lacking lower bodies and thus a motivation to steal pants, they may steal your hat to protect them from the unidentified white substance dripping down from the radioactive black gelatin mold that floats above them.
What the hat is this? Why did this teacher write this note beside this nemitz? Now nemitz thinks it is giving me advice! nemitz thinks it can tell me what to do! I’m tired of this kind of garbage from nemitz. I CAN’T be the only person who has to put up with this. Surely it’s not following around and annoying me exclusively, right? Does it really think i want to be like it?
Did you ever think that you would be this mitz?
NO! ME?! Such an accusation! Even though we appear to suddenly be in a courtroom it is not I who is on trial here, but I shall make this unmitztakably clear to you. I have NO and shall never have ANY aspiration or desire to be that or ANY mitz. I resent that it thinks I do or that I thought I might, and I resent that you weren’t certain, for that matter! “gosh i wonder if i could potentially be thiz mitz?” it NEVER HAPPENED. You know what else nemitz thinks? You shall!
In this never before published rubblish, I reveal that nemitz has awful taste in music.
The problem is nemitz THINKS that’s good! But reek zeek zurk is not good! Your ears are more than big enough to be able to discern that, foolish mitz! If nemitz knew how to write, and you told it to describe its favorite song, and it obeyed, it would write, in english, “reek zeek zurk.”
Also, the frown making concept album for the lost conveyed dope evidently had an epilogue that I forgot about. Nemitz is so awful that I disremembered a crucial piece of dope history. Certainly, I would LIKE to forget, but that would doom me to repeat it! Like right now, for example.
Could nemitz possibly be aware of how unwanted it is? How unloved and unneeded? A question for scholarly debate: does nemitz ENJOY being a scumbag? If it knew it was a scumbag it would have stopped by now unless it liked things that way (because it was a scumbag). I love a good mystery, but I despise a bad mitztery, and there certainly aren’t any good ones.
Increasingly I believe that nemitz enjoys being reprehensible. If there was one imp you would want to reprehense, that would be nemitz, which is very convenient for it. I know that I have reprehensed nemitz countless times, unaware that the whole while the fool was reveling in it. That does NOT, however, mean that nemitz TRICKED me. That was a coincidence. It couldn’t be smart enough to know I didn’t know that it liked being awful. I assumed it thought that it was morally right.
Obviously it never has been, but establishing that it knew it wasn’t is crucial to maximizing its prison sentence.
I cannot afford to keep supporting nemitz’ dreadful habit.
However, if we, as people who aren’t nemitz, cooperate, I believe we can clean up this town.
You’ve got food on your back
You’ve got clothes in your mouth
You should be FVCKIN’ HAPPY
I was concerned that the “ol roy” interlude in my previous item was underinspired and dull, but I forgot how much uninspiration inspires people, and so he has already been promoted to Southern Connecticut State Universitti grafitti creative consultant.
Apart from the prominent FUCKIN’ this seemed too consciously peculiar to be written by a student here without an outside source, and sure enough, it is a lyric from some song that I suspect is meant to be a facetiously daft take on traditionally daft oversimplifying “message” songs, although regardless of sincerity it is musically awful. Awfulness strengthens the experience. And so what might be my initial assumption, that taking the line out of context of the bad song might improve it, seeing it scratched into a wall is less awful than hearing it sung and so, in fact, it is worse. It reminds me of another good old time, however.
I took a number of pictures from a car that day. Almost none looked like anything afterward. Somehow I have two totally legible shots of this sign. It must be my destiny to document this. Or maybe the car stopped and we got out here. I cannot decide which is worse.
Common Man, first of uh, is a sellout shill. The interior of his domain is filled with “common man” branded merchandites. While no doubt the marketing and quality of product was nothing beyond common, you don’t get to pretend you uphold the interests of oppressed, hardworking people when you charge them $20 for a mass-produced shirt that provides the most rudimentary insulation with a logo on it. I don’t have pictures of that, either!
alright, it probably wasn’t as lazy as this one.
It really isn’t hard to make a terrible shirt! This is outside of relevance!
More important than common man or his awful wears or what’s worse than them is his slogan. When I passed the sign the first time, I was certain the letters spelled up “drink in sand, feet in hand.” I wondered how anybody driving could see that and that not get into a horrific accident trying to make logical sense of it. Anything else it might say would be corny and pointless. I was so taken that I had to commemorate the experience with a tiny drawing in a notebook. Somewhere I could find it again but that less enlightened folks would never come across and make a quarrel over out of jealousy. Today I scanned it and traced it. Aren’t you proud!
Who needs good food and down home cold hard ice cream when they have feet in hand? What more do you need? You’re all but set for a good long while. A tragic existence, to never know the possibility of feet in hand.
My sister formerly had a section of her facebook account detailing “one night in hand,” a yearly event for graduators at the Daniel Hand High School of Madison, Connecticut, including all manner of chaperoned mischief that I have no idea about because I never attended that school and my sister deleted that account months ago. Perhaps out of despair of night in hand not comparing to feet in hand.
Remembering that my camera was borrowed occasionally back in those times, I searched for evidence and found none. Here is, however, a picture that I discovered in my collection from the approximate period when night in hand would have occurred. I think it tells you just as much.
According to an internet, the actual title is “nite in hand.” It is conducted under an alias so that I will not find out. For, you see, Nite in Hand is alcohol free, so it is likely students will have neither drink* nor feet in hand. Just nite, which doesn’t even exist. Truly bleak!
*unless they consume something highly deviant, such as water.
Oh thank gupin. You saved me from having to put a liquid inside me that didn’t contain an artificially flavored science experiment. Flavored water is a great replacement for something that only isn’t called that because it sounds sleazy.
Pet products fascinate me, because they are, generally, a total frivolity marketed at the buyer but not the consumer. I do not have pets. I have probably said so before, but I dislike somebody who is needy, erratic, unable to be reasoned with and can never be expected to grow out of that. That job is already taken in my house.
I am jealous of dogs. I have to brush my teeth constantly but dogs just get to eat meat flavored cookies shaped for some reason like pieces of dead bodies and apparently that’s enough.
Ah, wonderful. What can you tell me, Roy?
Lovely. Like what?
Is that so! How does it pertain to this situation.
Please don’t talk to me anymore, Roy.
This bag contains little dogs to feed to your big dog.
Similarly, the anthromoporphic dog here wants to eat his normal dog deputy. I assume. I hope he’s not mouthily lusting over that big peanut on a fork. That would be weird, and then this product would need to be recalled.
If it WAS recalled, and discontinued, that certainly would not be because thousands of people reported that their dogs became sick/dead from kidney failure after eating these things because they were made from imported Chinese poultry meat. The New York state factory just happened to flunk the antibiotic test and the owner has no intention of using meat that does not contain antibiotics (or letting one of its factories outside New York get inspected), because these are legally considered SAFE, in China, even though the investigation only happened because of people reporting that the product was harmful and the discovered health code violation was entirely coincidental. Do you understand? Explain it to me after class.
This is the Nestle corporation, after all. It only inadvertently kills human babies [in the 1970s].
You can also buy Waggin Train products in Canada, because the dogs there really culturally identify with the covered wagon mythos. Also, they are more humble and less likely to complain than American dogs when they get poisoned.
Still, getting back on topic,
It has been my experience that peanuts are weird, at least.
And some peanuts are totally normal and pleasant.
And a reasonable reader would know very well that’s not what I meant and that nobody should do that.
You are atrocious.
As a mentally ill person, I am disgusted by all this recent talk in the media that implies I want a gun.
As a non-mentally ill person, I avoid “the media” altogether because I expect to be disgusted by it.
I also avoid twitter, tumblr, various art websites and the shirts of other people at this university.
You might surmise that I am more often ill than not. I have! You might surmise that I avoid this website as well, but it is not the case. More likely, it avoids me, for I have disgusted it with my long absences that I only break to pick on old topics.
Such as the nature of people’s preferred methods of information distribution amongst themselves, and that which they distribute, that somehow finds its way to me because I hate myself for unsubcribing from the upload feed of people who I feel have been nice to me at some point, even when the contents inadvertently upset me often enough as to seem illogical to continue partaking of. This comes about surprisingly easily. Or not surprisingly at all considering that my greatest foes are backward letters, transparent material colored in blue and mouths.
And so: Another of this tumble-network’s delightful quirks is its users’ love of inserting obscenity into mundane statements to bring additional attention to them. I believe at first it was meant to be funny, but the more I saw it the easier and angrier it seemed. I should thus disclaim that this entry contains many more pictures of many obscene words, or the same few obscene words many more times. Even if those don’t bother you, me continually responding to them with the same few complaints may become emotionally draining.
Fortunately, that means skimming the remainder of the text and text images will probably suffice, if you have a passion for downscrolling which you cannot ignore.
The exploitation of this formula could be seen as a criticism of what an empty formula it is, but I assure you it is a glorious homage. Which would be fine if it wasn’t but one joke that went on forever, that didn’t start there and hasn’t stopped.
We prove that cartoons are not just for children by swearing! That is what grownups do! Hell damn genitalia words! Crap slut douche! Stuff that comes out of orifices!
Tell me for the first time why tumblir has to break out an ugly, angry word like “fucking” every time it likes anything. I don’t even notice “ass” anymore.
This is how easy it is. You just need to repeat the word endlessly to attain godhood in this crowd. Context is for, let’s say, wussies.
This is not edgy! You are not “rebelling” against media censorship! You are engaging in an equally or more insidious form of mind control and it’s disgusting. It is insidious because it is posing as a counterculture when it is very much the norm, pushing a normy agenda. Maybe the agenda of printing fundamentally harmless syllables repeatedly does not hurt anybody, but it empowers dimwits with nothing to say to say it very loudly.
The words, I can handle them. The uniformity and lack of dissent, possibly due to a lack of means to express dissent irk me.
I am very glad i don’t know this person and have that relaxed a relationship with. Know personally, I mean: It could be 90 or so “different” internet people I am less than two stages removed from. Imagine every day, anything you own might suddenly have DICKS or whatever the impulse vulgar word of the moment is written across it, with that chudgump watching and giggling. “I thought it would I MEAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF I DID THE EASIEST POSSIBLE THING TO MAKE YOUR PROPERTY UGLIER BECAUSE I AM FIVE YEARS OLD FOR LIFE LOL OOPS NO PUNCTUATION SORRY NOT REALLY I INTEND TO KEEP DOING IT HURFDERP” I was sick of this six years ago. I feel like the older and less tolerant of worthless 0-effort mental cheezwhiz I get, the younger and more in love with it everyone else gets, because after a certain point people who hate this rubbish and aren’t me find other means of getting attention outside the websites this incubates in. Those who remain and their new pledges keep making triter and more simplistic, infantile horseradish and finding faster and less pleasant ways to demand money for it and coerce people to try and get me to spend MY money on it and to tell me it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen or will ever see.
At least go with Dr. Diarrhea DDS; alliteration is a decent cover for a lack of material in limited quantities. I realize that the concept of moderation is often unheard of; an aspect of moderation, after all, is that you do not hear of it often.
Huhuh. You said ‘titties.’
Nothing makes you more authoritative than talking like a bonehead. Bonedome. What do you know about my dome game, you who uses “dome” as a synonym for mental function and “game” as a synonym for things that are not games? That is to say, I assume “dome” has that meaning; my only other prominent dome experience was with a defunct rap gang called “mad dome gettaz” and they generally wove yarns about acquiring hemispherical ceilings for their basilicas and how frustrated it made them.
Behold my needlessly animated, motivational hoke-spewing head. You have no choice. I hate when somebody totally ordinary who isn’t of renown for any apparent reason beyond that some force of fate decreed that he was tells me to “be [myself].” It’s easy for this guy to be himself because he has a mob of admirers who admire him for not doing anything, even when it’s in a lower quality derivation of the original medium; in this case, video and audio of a man’s head transformed into grainy moments of movement and silence with captions. I’ll be myself and people will continue to reblog oafs like this at me being themself in a degraded form.
I looked him up, assuming the #tictactoe entry that resembled a proper name referred to the man in the pictures. He at least edits his videos; one of my major gripes with people who compulsively record themselves talking is the endless unrehearsed dead air, wordless grunts and coughing. My absolute primary gripe, that I have no interest in watching people talk at me, still wins out.
I have contemplated recording myself on some occasions, as saying longform complaining aloud makes it more apparent how much is legitimately amusing, how much is boring and how much means I should be murdered, but I can’t get past that I don’t want to have to listen to myself, and it would probably degenerate into me yelling about lizards or potatoes.
That same page, of the creative individual who took someone else’s video and turned it into a less good version of itself also had this goon in the lower left, also needlessly animated, floating there. I have no guess at who he is, since he was a permanent fixture on the page rather than a meticulously keyworded exportable, but he sure is proud of himself and that’s what counts. He is following his dream of being a smug, damp-shirted, legless, endlessly looped animated gif whose fingers keep slipping on his damp shirt, requiring their readjustment.
tumblr is ruled by fuh kyeah titled pages. Never “mammograms oh yes” or “hooray for wheat,” but “euckyeahpringles” on each and all occasions, as if it is a rule. It isn’t, but people love to pretend things are rules. That prevents a thoughtless act from needing to be justified. This series means to highlight the positivity potential of an object, but it comes across like disdain. I have even found them for topics like not having a conventional sexual orientation (such as any at all). How can you uphold an uncommon, fornication-free lifestyle when you bond yourself to such arbitrary institutionalized fornicationspeak?
Since when is “why” a factor that you consider? I should feel “inspired” to know there are other people who aren’t after sexualizing, but that doesn’t make a difference when they violate my emotional boundaries that supercede my hypothesized sex aspect with the first sentence.
Surely you get the idea by now, but I have about twenty examples. This highlights a loophill in my quest for moderation because if I don’t post them now I’ll post them later and feel compelled to include additional examples to exhibit that it is a trend. I defeat my addictions by giving in so pitifully that they laugh themselves into lethal choking fits. I assure you I have suspended my access to the source of these, or have tried to, but sometimes they follow me home.
Getting away from the internet momentarily, the university art club occasionally reserves space in a hallway for members and incorrigible nonmembers (my own status, which likely does not surprise you) to display art objects, and little bits of paper are provided so that anonymous comments may be supplied by viewers. I kept all the notes my displays received, because I am insecure and believe any compliment could be the last. This one, though, bothered me, before I had the tumblr problem. This is likely from somebody whom I would regularly wish to scream at for being way too emotionally invested in things of minimal significance. Too offended, too pleased, too easily. The internet’s social economy cannot exist without this. However, real people need not rely on it. Are they real? If they are, am I? If I inspire you, why are you such a rogueish slice of cheese? It is also possible that this note was meant for somebody else, and it fell on the floor, and someone else picked it up and stuck it on the nearest non-floor, but I don’t like that either! Perhaps I kept the thing because I appreciated the gesture and the person going to lengths to prevent my responding to its emotions by thinking about screaming.
(this was not the piece)
The art classes I attended at the university had a grand tradition of forcing the whole class to listen to crummy music while doing everything. Last year (2010?) that “FUCK youuuuuuu, a hoo hooo” (whooo just as well being me) song was a recurring element.
I cannot blame the rising of peoples’ casual nature toward the prized word on it, but I sure do hate it, regardless, though had I been free to not regard it I might hate it less.
Not every teacher has a supply of terrible CDs, so luckily there is a radio-edited version of the same song, and it is just as annoying, and is broadcast with a more tightly-regulated regularity. The word “fuck” is awkwardly replaced with “forget,” but that word is not the reason the song is offensive. The word is in a negative context and functions. It is peoples’ reaction to the word and the song’s inherent musical insufferability that rule the rued day. The more you play it, the more I hate it. Whether the word is said or isn’t, its presence is implied. The song got popular on the internet first. I’m supposed to hear it and giggle “uh oh it’s the fuck you song! hee heeeeeeeeee this song’s got swears and it’s on the radioooooooo!”
In (2012) I was again in the charge of a cd-owner, who prefered a daily visit from some dreary monotone man who sounded like he wore glasses stopping the whole song and speaking “I wanna fucking tearrr youah parrd.” AWFUL. What little music is there breaks down instantly just so it’s unmistakable that I hear the unaffected dork pronounce that calmly and clearly. It makes me want to fleeping eviscerate the bum. It’s like he is in the army for dorks who are really proud of saying nasty things. This is our duty. We do it sternly and without hesitation. We demand respect for doing it. The budget for keeping us doing this will never be cut. I suspect the “song” is meant to be about murder, which is unpleasant, but I listen to music for entertainment (or, in these situations, to protect me from what others listen to), not harsh moral reminders.
This then reminds me of some artificially “viral” “spoof” of the Captain Planet and the Planeteers animated television series, in which some yobo (I remember the clip made a big deal that Don Cheadle, whom I should have heard of, was playing the captain) gleefully advocates conserving water and then gets really serious and says “Or else I’ll turn you into a Fucking tree.” It even stops the music the same way. It just bothered me. The captain had turned some people into trees and so the warning was consistent with his behavior but I didn’t like his attitude. It makes sense that Captain Planet would be angry but making sense is not inherently funny. We have to put these indicators around the word “fucking” so that there is no mistake. It is trendy to get abruptly emotionless and hostile for no reason. At one time I had thought it bad enough to have another re-enactment of a work of mediocre fiction that I’m meant to praise as brilliant merely because someone bothered. I’m supposed to already be impressed and in some awe just because all these people dressed up like characters from a cartoon, even a terrible cartoon, but it goes to the next rubble when one of them says the magic present participle verb. Oh geeez gaiz they’re dressed up like planeteers AND swearing! This is so AUTHENTIC.
When I encounter emotionless hostility in made-up material, it reminds me of abrasive, confrontational actual people that I hate. Probably people from crummy “realistic” movies that I hate, but everyone raised by television eventually imitates it. It can be funny when fiction reminds me of real garbage people, but only when it makes fun of them or in some way implies “this is a garbage thing for people to do.” All these things do is show the garbage as if they condone it or encourage it.
The website may even have been called “funny or die.” It’s threatening me if I don’t entertain it, and having the brashness to order me to be a fan for it.
a montage of them that I had nothing to do with. this is trying to be provocative by printing the word in big, oddly colored print, but it isn’t, because the word is so common that it lacks any meaning beyond “the person saying this is unpleasant and gives being confrontational priority over solving a problem.”
in fact i momentarily considered entering the word in the tumblr search engine to see what the most promoted example was before recalling that it is a verb with multiple meanings and that tumblr has absolutely no standards for what is displayed on it
Hesus loves everyone except people who stutter. You can say I’m missing the point, but I’m not because the point is that this is really angry and antagonistic and is unconcerned with love. This Jesus here may be quoting some angry antagonistic creep from a film. I remember [one of] the creep(s) in The Breakfast Club kept asking “do I stutter?” instead of answering anyone else’s questions and I wanted to throw pumpkins at him, and he didn’t even say “fucking.” The breakfast club is the movie where the supposedly smart character’s biggest fear in life is that someone will know he is a virgin. It’s also about people who aren’t in a club and don’t eat any food and then don’t get called out on the title making no sense even though it’s a serious movie otherwise devoid of such non sequitur identifications. It is a really stupid movie. Of course I watched it at school. I remember I had to watch The Breakfast Club at the school for creeps that I attended (Cedarhurst) whenever one of the teachers was out being repaired. Not being there to see the film, the teachers were thus unaware that I was learning nothing about breakfast. I hope they got fired. For that reason, if necessary.
This narration from a 1955 Wonder Woman comic does not want to let me continue this story without making absolutely certain I understand the true meaning of breakfast. That is why this is called the golden age of comics. That and the expensive production values.
I inadvertently became acquainted with the popular skyrim video game roundabout the year-switching period. That is not the primary excuse for my continued infrequent, excuse-filled updates; I was in an unusual place and trying to complete an unusual drawing that could ideally become a useful update and so had difficulty being productive all around.
I have not forsworn any “low-tech” principles in playing the Skyrim video game; that never was a “principle,” that I played old timey video games. I just did not find the widely advertised new ones at all enticing and could not justify the purchase of a modern game system based on the price, the amount of games I had the faintest interest in or the free time I had.
My non-interest was validated when I had a chance to play the also popular Portal last year and found it wholly underwhelming. Nothing could be done to make the control feel natural to me and I couldn’t help becoming aware of all the bland, internet running non-gags that must have been inspired by it. It seemed like a never-ending tutorial session for a “real” mission that never showed up. That I still couldn’t win did not inspire me to draw many pink cubes in non-portally contexts.
By chance, somebody else at the unusual location happened to come into possession of just such electronic devices amitz my visit but did not exclusively use them in the periods when I also might have, and after observing a bit I deduced that Skrymy was mostly unlike Portal and that I might take an opportunity to see how it went. The control was just as unfortunate; I am hopeless at blocking enemy attacks and am likewise offensively impotent against any foe that attempts to block attacks and from whom I cannot cowardly run away and then turn around to start throwing stuff at once they get tired of following. Fortunately, there is still plenty for a deficient player to do, and without feeling like “I guess I’m decrepit! My future shall contain naught but jewel-matching and bird flinging.”
Undoubtedly Skyrimpf has its own share of dreadful memes, but having gradually re-outcast myself in the two years on either end of its release, I avoided becoming aware of them. I have no friends, but I have a tolerable high profile and recent video game. Or I did for a few days. That is likely all I am owed.
I suspect the wide amount of visitable areas to visit in the game is nothing new; I remember the Ultimas I tried in past years were somewhat like that, though Ultima was deliberately, it seemed, hard to approach sometimes, and I never completed any of them. You could go anywhere you pleased, but figuring out just who needed your help, and who you could help at your initial power level was even a matter of guessing. S’krim has none of that; any direction you go in, for a long time, there is something to be done that you are fully capable of doing. I imagine the homogenous medieval environments and total lack of whimsy common to the “serious” western approach to fantasy and video games would irritate me after a while, but it did not occur soon enough and I am sad to say I spent rather too long fiddling with this thing.
I do prefer medieval homogeneity to the modern society homogeneity of grand theft auto types, in which no creature or structure is going to appear that does not exist in contemporary reality. I would rather battle boring old skeletons than really boring new street gangs. Neither group is interested in making friends.
In attempting to write a brief digression I realized I have a complicated, peculiar and sometimes painful relationship with Ultima, and the digression began looking to do the same thing to this post as the games did to me, which is totally contrary to my point that my experience with Skyrim was comparatively pleasant. It remains approachable despite being the fifth game in its series, whereas Ultima was an illogical mess from beginning to end whose ability to endure so long defies basic logic, so really we are not so different.
However, my life does not make a good video game! I am glad to know at last that I needn’t necessarily experience American role-playing games in terror.
Peculiar, but not painful, is to what degree being able to choose to play as a stupid lizardoid enhances my feeling of involvement in the thing. it is likewise peculiar to have most other characters not notice that it is a lizard, and be immediately able to tell if it is male or female and choose all the corresponding words, like man or woman, him or her, even though the male and female lizard-folk look almost exactly the same, and be they male or female they are hardly women or men. They are some things that nobody bothered to make a word for. Citizens of the land are literally more concerned that the beast is wearing leather armor than that it has a tail and the head of a snake. Nobody says oh yikes a lizard! I’m getting out of here! Intermittently, an incidental bit of dialog acknowledges that it is one, but nothing important, from what I have seen. The presence of such beings may seem to contradict my remark about a lack of whimsicality, and maybe that is why everybody works so hard to pretend it is normal. They NEED to accept this to maintain order.
All these tough guys who look like Triple-H and Boromir and won’t shut up about mead are totally comfortable being around the ludicrous reptiles despite my not having encountered another after investing more hours than I would like to think into the expedition. Even the natural environment is bafflingly tolerant; the stupid tail should be knocking things over and making noise all over the place. Why do lizard-folk start with extra “sneak” points? Anybody should notice one of those is coming and challenge its freedom to do so. Although I did make sure to give it the smallest and wimpiest-looking body possible, I also arranged for the nose to be of maximum length, and the tail size is non-negotiable. Even with an acknowledged local dragon attack problem, nobody in Skyrim-land accuses the lizard of being in collusion with them, which you know as well as I do real people eagerly would. This remains the case even if it breaks into someone’s house or starts attacking people (it always loses, of course). The worst punishment is having to pay a fine, and probably less money than the crumbum stole, and then all is immediately forgiven. There is no lasting stigma or notoriety. Although, also unlike Ultima, the game explicitly identifies which items people will have a problem with me stealing. Evidently potato theft is legal so long as it occurs outside.
I like that mistakes, apart from crime, are not heavily penalized, though. I hate when something like Breath of Fire 2 lets me make a seemingly unimportant decision with a permanent effect that I couldn’t possibly have guessed and that I don’t realize until later. I don’t want to go through half this stupid game again the exact same way just so I don’t invite the wrong dork to live in my treehouse village* because I didn’t realize he was the wrong dork and that I would not be able to invite additional dorks or evict the ones filling the space. Skyrim, and presumably others of its type, seem to have enough things to do multiple ways that additional playthroughs would be probable whatever the case, so this is not as big a factor. All the same I’m not looking to acquire more of them or devote my life to them (I am no longer visiting and no longer have access to the game, in fract), since I would never truly be able to finish, either. I am here to make peace, not love.
My mother claimed to have predicted that I would play as a lizard. However, I predicted that she would claim to have predicted that and decided against defying fate on this occasion.
I do not “relate” to lizards. I do not think I am one. This questionabloid does many things that I would not, such as stealing potatoes out of barrels and peoples’ gardens or selling valuable potatoes. Two other people sharing the residence at the time I visited had also played the game, and neither had chosen to be a lizard. I liked the idea of nobody wanting to be one. The perceived lack of appeal made it appealing. The truth is that I relate to things that have no business being on the premises.
Unless an unapproachable, affluent entity paid for it to be there out of spite.
Or whatever this is. Specifically, what it is, that is; I can place it in a general category of “things that should not be here.” I prefer to place it out of my sight.
i had meant to deliver a crucial skeleton update before now, but I [was attacked by skeletons] and so it will have to wait.
That is this. More importantly, that is that.
Tumbling up on a previous item,
this is from the deviant art website. It was also a featured object shown to everybody [who cared to be aware] and had 1119 users proclaim it “favorite” as of the time when I saw it, august 2011. Observe the system drawing people in: putting simplistic faces on inanimate objects, particularly the big arc mouth with perfectly circular black dot eyes at the ends. Anything drawn like this is immediately marketable, especially food. Can you write the letter U and a period? Can you draw a square? Congratulations, you created HappyBread® Brands LLC INC. Here’s 3 millions dollars. Don’t put ears on it, though; that’s copyright infringement against CatLoaf, the exclusive intellectual property of Bananazone International Holdings, who get to sue you now. Don’t put eyeshadow and white makeup on it, either; that’s DeathLoaf, the inspired imaginatorneering of Gatherib Wendlemeyer, praise be upon her, a talented genius prodigy 17 year old graphic professional designist from Seattle who gets to order cronies to taunt you on twitter forever and then sue you also. Um I think this is art theft u guys???? I actually have total confidence in my statement but this insecurity is a total put on guys?????? Idek is it??????????????????????? Guys. It’s like, I just.
Watch this, here be a horrid picture of something that I ate, because I compulsively photographed my food for a few years, to assist the coroner.
Here it is again with that one face drawn on it. Notice how it’s still ugly, but it has that face on it. This is “cute” to some people. Specifically, the ones who spend $30 on an ugly flat-colored short sleeved shirt with a slogan or a logo on it. Imagine if you drew this face vomiting a rainbow that also had this face on it. Much like the my little poster bodonies, it’s really easy and really popular.
What is my problem? Can’t I just be happy for other people’s success? Clearly I can’t (and it is worse when it is people I have met in person but do not have any financial connection to). That isn’t real success, anyhow; the person did three other nearly identical scenes, and almost nobody who looked at this one looked at the others, and even less looked at the things which weren’t this. Why build people up to such a ludicrous degree like that just to immediately chop them down with your negligence? That’s rude. Why not make an effort at an earnest, ongoing appreciation, or, if you don’t truly think it is special, not pretend it’s some historical masterpiece? Because those who appeared were someone else’s crony. They like ugly, easily produced artwork, but only if the right person tells them to.
Anyhow, this was meant to transition into my real point, which is
Hey later, man. I’m eatin’ a celery stick.
That is a good reason. Very well, you are excused. Who is still here?
I have to go, too.
I have witnessed the hobbit film and I do wonder why I fussed over the movie dorks changing the story to make it match the other movies better; that was precisely what I had hoped they would do. I had little interest in this film as long as I knew precisely what was coming next.
I still question the need to have “pretty” dwarves; when I saw those guys with human noses and no beards in the promotional image on the previous occasion, I just assumed one of them was Aragorn, the non-dwarf man from the other film series, whose presence would be superfluous and require me to accept that he was at least 90 years old in the other films. In fact, they are Kili and Fili Fili and Kili, who are indeed “supposed” to be with the company (which makes me wonder why they are deserting it in that picture) and, true to the source book, distinguishable from the other dwarves.
Obviously dwarves are not born old and bearded (right?) but surely they don’t abruptly grow fat prosthetic noses and British accents once they reach their prime ages. It probably makes financial sense, again, to have a designated “heartthrob” character, and rather depressing that we must absolutely bow to this whim. Anyway it works for Filly And Killy, who are designated the closest thing to that “role,” but I don’t believe Thorin, the boss dwarf, as a young type. His authority comes from his ties to the old dwarf kingdom, so he should be old, or at least really dwarfy. He gets enough screen time that he can be distinctive without looking like Aragaragorn. He has some nice battle wounds gained by conflict new for the film that only seems there to help him get battle wounds, but he is still fundamentally pretty. If you want to make a movie with pretty warriors who fight forever for no reason, adapt a Final Fantasy game.
My only real problem with this is those stupid boots pointing up.
As things are, the director Peter Jackson in his publicity attire looks more dwarfy and less groomed than Thorin does in full costume after weeks of marching, camping, and not bathing. I have also decided against posting any pictures of Peter Jackson on this web-page.
But that is all trickery! Movie magic!
let us talk about something natural.
Does this look all natural to you?
Does this look even partially natural?
The only thing I like more than creepy shiny symmetrical computer people are bright red open mouths. Also, that statement was insincere. This is important because I told you.
Now, with my school classes currently concluded, I do, in theory, I have time to finish some of the long and baffling incomplete website objects which I have accumulated in the past four months.
NO ME LIKE BAFFLING SERIES OF NONSEQUITURS WITH NO ENDING BETTER. ME PUNISH.
However, I will probably play old video games I have completed before and continue posting half-thoughts at about the same interval as before, now that I have gotten used to not doing it very often.
I am kidding; I can also play newer remakes of older games
Additionally I can play slightly older remakes of equally old games
I can play slightly newer remakes of slightly less– excuse me, am I boring you?
I can also play Wanderers From Ys
that’s what I thought. I am glad you are behaving reasonably.
Barbie shows up the critics who claim she is a bad role model who stereotypes women as dumb and unfit for employment in male-dominated fields by beginning her 2012 presidential campaign immediately following the election. I come in this store at least once every two weeks and I never saw this display until [yesterday], November 29. Today is 15 days from then, I am aware. I haven’t even had a chance to turn my last calendar page yet, with all the unsatisfying futile time-eating rubbish about. I can’t wait to see what month it is.
Vote for Barbie(R) If corporations are people, registered trademarks might as well be, and they might as well run for president.
Also, I heard there was a movie about hobbits being made. Hobbits are regular people who just happen to be short and have a funny name and are skilled at having books about them get turned into expensive films. I thought I had from last April or the year before some big dumb thing written about from it but it turns out to only be a paragraph. I probably thought pah I will finish this later when I have more time. It was the “pah” which doomed the idea, I suspect.
Searching my hard drive for hobbit-related imagery I only pulled up “Hobbit Mario,” a pointless and effort lacking super mario bros. edit in the bland tradition that some gork had put on the internet at some point, so hopefully we can have this entry resolved with a minimal amount of visual distraction.
Back now in April or a year before I inadvertently became aware of a hobbit film, I went through various information about it, regarding changes to the script and actors reprising their roles from the Lord of the Rings series. I momentarily thought “oh that’s neat that Christopher Lee changed his mind about portraying Saruman in the The Hobbit movie,” for an earlier report had suggested he didn’t want to get on an airplane and go back to New Zealand at his age. And then I remembered that he isn’t actually in the The Hobbit story at all. And then I saw that Frodo and Legolas, who also weren’t supposed to be present, had signed on to appear, and it started to remind me of the Star Wars pre-sequels, which were so incapable of developing interesting characters or situations that every scene or so hey look it’s Jabby the Hutt or boy howdy it’s Chewbaccy! They have nothing to do with the story, but the story isn’t any good anyhow so look gee it’s R2D2! Forgive this film’s faults by remembering better movies this director has directed! Because you’ll pay to see it however awful it is!
It already, as of now in April when I wrote this has a 500 million dollar budget; higher than the gross of all but the most successful movies in history. This thing would have to take in half a billion dollars of revenoop even to justify its existence, never-mind make a profit.
I tried to figure out who had been cast as Bowman, the bard, who is brought into the story toward the end moments before suddenly doing something important. As long as we’re changing stuff up, could we bring Bardy in sooner so his significance makes more sense? No I think they’re going to cut him out altogether and have Legolas take his place. It’s not enough that he gets to take the place of the multiple archers who kill the evil elephant in Return of the King and by the way also die in the process? He gets to [do something], too?
I understand wanting to compensate for the lack of characterization in the book, among characters that are allowed to live, anyway. Mr. Tolkein, the writer, liked nothing better than to introduce a villain and kill him in the same chapter. In The Hobbit he actually would kill the villain and THEN tell us who it was. By the way that Goblin who just got slain abruptly after appearing was the great king of all west goblins and was cousin to the other king goblin I killed earlier and has 7 CMA awards and crochets in his spare time. Well now he’s dead. Good work.
As for non-villains, JR introduces 11, I think, dwarves at the start, and then he realizes that he can only think of five distinct dwarf personalities. Thorin, the head dwarf who is obsessed with being a dwarf, Ballin, the more sensible dwarf, Bomburo, who is fat and resents the other dwarves for resenting his fatness,
Feely and Key Lee who are small and function as one character, and all the rest, essentially. Dwarves are short anyway, but these two are smaller than most dwarves but still bigger than hobbits, I surmise. Even pairing them up doesn’t alleviate the clear superfluousness of half the cast because that still leaves three pairs that have no purpose. Two of them start the story with tinder-boxes, which are used for starting fires, but they LOSE their tinder boxes and so become generic “this guy and that guy.”
On the other ehh, this mere jrr token acknowledgement gives more personality to the rabble than a generic label of “the crew” or “the others” would. Maybe they are supposed to be unimportant, but they’re still PEOPLE, goshgrabbim. I think my point is that instead of adding more people we should do more with the people we already have.
Also, this is to be TWO movies? Hobbit had the largest print and sparsest pages of the series, so how does it get two movies? How much of the running time will be the dreary chant-songs that the book occupies chapters worth of space with? How much extra, unnecessary screen time will Gollum get? How much of it will be the gang stopping and feasting for a month every time they meet someone Gandalf knows?
And eat it too, I suppose!
Alright, I see. I didn’t post it because it was stupid. Fortunately, I regularly post stupid things; I merely try not to. I expect to see the film this weekend with family members because I realized that’s the only use I am as company: doing things that don’t require any personal interaction or input. Even if a decent amount of people hypothetically had shown up at my famous art show I wouldn’t have much to say to them apart from “hey I am the person who made that over there.” Thankfully, I can say that in my life time I have made something.
and this wasn’t worth ten minutes! MY ten minutes; I realize you hacked and distributed this in 7. And now I’ve contemplated my response to this imagery for 20 minutes. This will make great mandatory extra deleted scene footage for the dvd release. In fact I should delete it right now.
This imagery was worked into the background on a website where I attempted to look up showing times, with the left on one side and right on the other. Which of these prominent figures is The HoBBIT? Which of them is supposed to be relevant for more than 20% of the story? Which of them is supposed to be in it at all? I get the impression the filmmakers wished they had been making a different film. Or the advertisers wished the filmmakers had wished that.
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I am not quite back in control yet; I nearly had something for Friday but could not bring it into a functionally stupid phase
Cards that were, I presume, used in a limited variety of areas to promote the “real” art show that will occur regardless of my personal involvement on Thursday of this week.
This, being legally Thursday, would be unreasonably late to make such an announcement, but I am unaccustomed to anybody I know from the internet having easy access to any of my locations. That is probably the best for all parties involved. I pose this out of compulsion. That is also a safety matter.
I am concerned that the only people I know will be showing up are people who could just come and visit me at my apartment. That would have saved much effort and one awkward, sleep-deprived bimshwel entry. However, the promotion promises a “holiday party for the arts community” which is probably the same group from the Summer “member shows,” and that is swell; it’s really not right that we should only have the opportunity to utterly not relate to each other only once a year. I never get tired of people who never get tired of dreary local landscapes and collages of random newspaper headlines painted red and put in frames.
The title is not my doing; when I saw “no, seriously” I said “oh, honestly.” However, I can be blamed for negligence regarding the name associated with my outgoing email. Beans cunningham because it vaguely resembles my given name. I would not use some internet alias for an important occasion like this because that would be silly. However, n ow that I have experimented with being called “beans” in person I dislike it also. I am too dull in person to be owed a name like beans. Fortunately, this is actually just that office again and not a real art gallery. Ah safe, reliable obscurity.
It is a nice office, though, and well-heated. I also approve of work being done.
The other side. The nemitz was not on the real card, I added it just now. Any sooner and NOBODY would be showing up. I couldn’t stand there being a white space. This modification is to teach me a lesson, then, clearly.
It is a reused nemitz; I am far behind all matters and not in a proper functioning state if I can’t take three minutes to draw a slightly different dumb mitz. That thing is SO PROUD and doesn’t even realize it’s a perfect duplicate of another nemitz. There is absolutely nothing unique about it! What a derivative scumbag!
The cover-claiming was similarly beyond my control; I would prefer to share it, for this setup here makes me The Establishment and a deserving target of resentment. I imagine enough as things are without actually needing to receive any.
I recently attended another art related “event,” and some of these cards were present there. A bit later, when I went to leave and get hustled for $3 by some guy outside waving a rake around, pretending to be the janitor (the real janitor would have, again, seen my pictures and known I couldn’t possibly have sold anything), I noticed the cards were all gone. That meant they were either all taken or deliberately tossed on the floor/into a waste receptacle. The first is good because it suggests interest in what I am doing and the second is good because it shows a triumph of taste and decency
The idea of people unknowingly bringing this into their homes is horrifying, and them doing it with full knowledge is worse!
Ehhhhhhhhhhh better make that friday. Thursday will be big trouble, in addition to my art show. I didn’t have time to make something presentable about it and I assume nobody would see the notice here who could go, anyhow. Really, I “can’t” even go but I have to so that is the way it goes, and how I also go.
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I’ll make a deal with you: I’ll post something new and reminiscent of coherence on Thursday, December 13, and in exchange you can can read it for me afterward.
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It has been strange watching Pokemon go from a laughable fad that anyone could find themselves mysteriously gay for liking to an unreproachable culture source that I’m socially inadequate for not keeping up on the latest full price, buy twice developments of
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I think this is the longest bimshwel has gone without a regular “dated” update since I started giving significance to what level of effort justifies dating one. See, we’re still innovating and cutting edges! Also, “we” is still just me.
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My initial response to lasagna was negative because it did not look like the brown treaded lump in a steel dish from Garfield comics.
why does adding “i’m sorry” to a rejection make it seem like an accusation of insolence more so than a simple no?
Twinkies are like the Peanuts animated specials: nobody who grew up with a choice wants anyhing to do with them.
i get weirder as i get older, but weirdness itself gets normaller
The fraternity you join after getting boiling pasta flung at you: Phi Thetacini
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biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig trouble!
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You know, I knew, I can understand liking the limited assortment of complacent, still rerun ehtoons of the recent past and thinking them the epitome of memorable animation. They were at the right place at a right time, maybe they were clever, given the right array of influences, and not everybody is the frustrated, jealous visual artist that I am. The programs often had a captive audience with no standards who would become endeared to the product simply through familiarity before they developed the ability to be disgusted by something they couldn’t put in their mouths. That’s the same/only possible way The Smurfs cartoon got popular a decade prior, and how Disney can financially justify splitting the talking dog movie market that it’s already cornered.
Also, to guarantee credibility, Knockoff 12 cent cgi movie company competitor has produced a sequel to a creepy fish movie that for all I know never existed.
But that song, from the 1990s, TAhhhhhhaaaam to taaaaake uwollll dereeeeee guro da con ba day da! that was NEVER good. even when Kris Kross and The Offspring and MC Rollodonuts were good that was bad. I don’t have any memory associated with it; I have no idea when it appeared. One day it had suddenly always been there and awful, just like Pari Shilton. I’ve never heard anybody complain about the song, because it’s so pathetic and unremarkable that as soon as you’re done suffering through it you forget you heard it. Is it Hooty and the Bowties? is it Pearl Jim? Is it Creeb? Is it some other band that’s so generic that it’s just “band?” (probably not; I’m pretty sure Band made that “deet deet deet deet Olliday ohh olliday” song that was in every ad a year ago). I’ve complained about verses in american songs not mattering and only existing to fill space, but I can’t even remember this song having any. It has that crummy, moany, waking up at 4am with the radio on chorus and then a total memory void.
I was recently reassaulted with the song because the studio art classes at this university like to have terrible radio stations playing during class hours, to increase the challenge, I suppose, since this is COLLEGE and making art would otherwise be too fun to be called work. While hearing it, I started to type this, and the rest is misery.
I needed to know whose song it was, to have a proper, informed scorn about it, and I decided to start my investigation with the Hooty crewty. “Although Hootie & the Blowfish aren’t innovative, they deliver the goods,” says some quote on the wuhkapedia page by somebody who hopes we imagine he knows what he’s talking about. What is “the goods?”
It’s a box filled with undistinguishable trinkets labelled “goods.” It’s the goods for useless radio stations that aren’t allowed to play songs that anybody in the audience might not have heard 300 times already without electing to. They’re like Bacardi and Cola: They get “the job” done with the minimum amount of exertion or people pleased. A perfect match. Perhaps Too perfect…
No it is highly imperfect and thus I am discontent.
I assure you those numbers are very important to the people who maintain this neutral tone shrine.
I thought the song must be “time,” because that’s the only definite word I can make out in it, off the Hootly album “cracked rear view.” The album title does not include “…mirror.” The hootsters got bored with the name before they finished it.
And so, after the first three singles on the album suddenly that one doesn’t have its own wikipitya write-up, which is consistent with my belief that nobody is truly aware what it is because they lose all motivation to live during the length of it. They’re so concerned with dissuading themselves from suicide afterward that they forget most of what they heard. It’s so bad they couldn’t pay attention to the song after it either. Which is probably for the best since that is about drowning. Even participants who willingly purchased the album and have access to the details printed on its materials and believe it is their calling in life to make encyclopedia entries for all commercial properties (for they are notable through having been sold) won’t bother. At best they could read the title and length off of the packaging. It’s almost 5 minutes long, which is 3 minutes longer than such a pathetic song needs to do everything it is going to, which leaves lots of time for repetition and unremarkable instrument solos, so to better create the impression that Time itself has ceased to function.
Even knowing the danger, I had to be sure. For you, I endangered myself. In fact, “Time” is not the song I thought, but a song I’ve never heard before that’s even more mumbly and depressing. However, as I said I’ve never heard it before, which means nobody has by now made it their agenda to force me to, which means I have less of a quarrel with it. Alas, however, my curiosity renews! It won’t kill the cat but it may cause the cat to kill itself. What a scheme!
Yet more later, I deduced that after the word “time” came “to take,” because, it was, and I encouraged the google autocomplete system to provide “her home” after it. “Time to Take Her Home,” is the line, so stuff her in the trunk and don’t do anything suspicious. It serves as a a misattributed title for a song called Big Empty. And indeed it is! The song was caused by some Stone Temple Pilots. A band so bland I forgot IT existed. I knew they were out there, but I assumed they crashed in the Himalayas at some point and were reduced to cannibalism to prolong futile survival of the dominant members. I also didn’t know any of the songs they did. This is no mere phantom song, it is an entire phantom disco-graphy.
I only know Stone Temple Pilots really happened because my old brother told me when I was of 12ish years that I resembled the lead pilot of Stone Temple Pilots and that always stuck in my mind even though I didn’t know what they did apart from fly around in houses of worship constructed from pre-industrial materials. I still thought I liked songs other people liked so I continued to listen to radio stations and would hear promotions like “featuring GREEN DAY and RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS and PURPLE HORSESHOES and STONE TEMPLE PILOTS” but I lacked the presence of mind to inquire about their contribution, which is probably the way they like things.
Appropriately enough, Big Empty is also just under 5 minutes long. That’s just the rule. Rules are very important to classic rock radio stations.
People who bow before “rock” think they’re rebellious FREE SPIRITS but they are just as set in someone else’s nonsensical ways as whatever they claim to be better than. I heard two songs off the same bon jovi album in an hour on this station. Why is there a human being speaking between songs? An aphid could do this job. It’s not even an album I have more bad associations with than good but they probably play those songs every single day. We don’t need naow, thote controwl. Education is thought control but musical indoctrination is STICKING IT to THE MAN [who provides the indoctrination].ha ha we’ll throw in something brih-ish from the 1970s so we’ll seem deep and worldly! They play that song every day, too! People who listen because they want to probably think that song is called “Pink Floyd.” We just brought you some Bon Jovi, Stone Temple Pilots and Pink Floyd. Coming up in the next half hour is that also. Don’t try and implicate me in this! I refuse to we with you!
That same radio has been on in this same art class for 4 weeks or so and I’ve heard “Under Pressure” at least 3 times. I thought it was just somebody’s crummy mix cd, but it’s a real radio station! It’s a slightly longer crummy mix cd with advertisements in it. If this was a mix cd I probably would have heard that song with the whistling by now or “take only what you neeeeed family of treeeees pathetic 3 second shrill synthesizer loops repeated forever that somehow comes up regardless of music imposition method.” That song’s so bad that it has applause dubbed into it so I’ll think I like it.
And we don’t CARE about the old folks! All we care about is TALKING! and WHISTLING! We like noises from mouths because we’re YOUNG and WITH IT. Yet somehow there’s some 40-ish sounding man going on between the songs, as if anything new might possibly have occurred. Although it is my intent not to listen; he might well be a recording also. The entire broadcast day might be a 24 minute loop, like in those grand heft otto games, except I don’t get to express my frustration on imaginary pedestrians who exist solely for that purpose.
And don’t forget “Fireflies,” the eyerollingest song of 2010. I say that rhetorically; I would forget if I could. I can actually hear the rectangular framed glasses and really tiny above-chin beard that looks more like negligent shaving than a deliberate appearance choice. The songs are all NEW but the BAD is all old. Even when the style is different, the typicality and bland formulas and people who don’t get irritated by daily repetition are the same.
anda feeeeeeeeeel-innnn yabbadobbafibbagobbabreebaawmeeplesworth. I think that’s a different band, only because my old brother used to have the album with that song on it and i never heard the other one. This is the same brother that compared me to a stone temple pilot. I wish I had realized at the time that he was trying to train me for this. Then I might have told him how stupid this is and to cancel the whole thing. I permit that song to exist because it tries something strange, but it can be annoying when every male vocalist thinks he needs to use a strained old man voice to be taken seriously and I can’t tell them apart.
Last year I was in this same room with a different teacher, who put on a slightly different radio station. I will attempt to integrate that complaint into this one, because I believe in civil rights.
There are hundreds of thousands of recording artists now and even more throughout the field’s existence. There is no reason this radio station needs to play two John Mayer songs, much less ones I’ve heard before, but that I can’t tell apart until the chorus part, in less than that many hours.
I’m also pretty sure I heard the “i’ll catch a greNADE forya” guy more than once, “when i see your FACE there’s not a THING that i would change, cuz you’re aMAZEing” people complain about Justin Beeper with this sleazephozo on the loose? Yes I’m aware I said the exact same thing there. However, I actually haven’t written that yet! These songs are so awful they are distorting time!
By the radio station’s bragline of the best mitz of the 80s, 90s, and “today” there are thirty two years of junk to choose from. How does “life is a high weight” come up twice? Oh excuse me the second one is an irritating auto-tune remake that is fundamentally the same apart from the singer sounding like a robot that wears a cowboy hat. Don’t remake a song if it’s going to sound the same. Don’t remake a song if it’s going to sound like a totally different song. Don’t remake songs!
According to my needless research, that edition of the song was included in the “game” Lego Rock Band,
which lost a family award to itself, challenged by yet one other version of itself, plus a different game that appeared twice. I’d say it’s not gay folk and single parents that are devaluing the family experience. Here’s how that must work:
We have developed a new media property!
Is it good?
No.
Does it have any conflict or remotely challenging concepts?
No.
Does it have swear words or sex in it?
Sir I assure you it lacks everything.
Does it emulate stuff people could do without $500 worth of video game junk?
Yes.
Does it have lots and lots of sponsorships and corporate branding?
Yes.
Family!
I don’t think even Tetris would make this list, just because there’s a possibility of someone getting mad if the bricks fell too fast.
And now crummy record stores can claim to carry video game music, even if it’s only from games whose music is exclusively comprised of songs off of radio stations.
Wow i could listen to your ads and random song selection at random parts of the day or just buy a 20 year old bad Green Day seedy. Or continue to listen to whatever song I want without any ads ever, which this society pretty much requires everybody to own the technology to do so with anyhow. The promotion on this sign would have been clever in 1992 and perhaps temporarily bearable. The station is proud that it’s been playing the same songs for 20 years. I am not opposed to old songs. I am opposed to assigned, self-satisfied devotion to old songs.
Unlike the trivial new junk, this will not be tossed out after some predefined period. It will linger miserably forever until some band member is accused of having inappropriate relations with children, at which point it will be suspended until that person dies. I am also opposed to hating something just because it is old. I am opposed to doing something just because of something else, apart from mere enjoyment or kindness. I have difficulty believing anyone really enjoys green day consistently, and green day does not appreciate your friendly gesture.
There is inevitable depressing typicality overwhelming my existence in those rooms. On the rare occasion I haven’t heard a song before, I will keep hearing it so that I can no longer make such a claim.
Moderation and subtlety do not exist. Not surprisingly, this school plops out a heaply helping of bland, indistinguishable painters. Maybe all the schools do. Maybe I have wasted the last [number] of years in my life and should have gotten a job and made art in my spare time and not put so much needless anxiety into receiving certification from people who regularly certify bums with no skill or creative ambition. Maybe I just need to remember to bring in my earphones and some adequately charged counter-noise producing object next time.
You may think I exaggerate the incapacitation inflicted on me by noises of typicality that I cannot control, Though I am not physically I harmed, the primary negative affect it has on me is that I write long, meticulous documentation of my irritation instead of finishing my art projects. Being annoyed shifts my priority to how annoyed I am. And if there’s any traffic freport that’s worth a “follow me on twitter,” it wasn’t the one I heard that in.
Imagine a whole city built around radio. In addition to the harm it does me it horrifies young children with its harsh wintry climate that abruptly shifts to warm and tropical below three feet off the ground leading to incongruous clothing choices among women of eerily uniform heights, a baffling distraction that gives the ghost santas just enough time to carry out their abductions without opposition.
Were you aware? The LucasFilm company has been sold to the Disney company.
Eyyyyyyy! What is dizzzz!
It’s true! A sequel was promised immediately, because the last few were so good and Neville forbid we stop trying to reenact the 1980s with hip smirky scumbags. Some people like this news, some people do not. Nobody should be surprised, though. Do you remember when George Lucas announced an intention to place all five *nsync members into New Star Wars, and how mad people got? He didn’t even ask “is this a good idea?” because he is not a person to whom self-doubt occurs.
Expect a lot of announcements like that. Justin Bieblesworth already looks like the 1970s Luke Skywaffle. They may even bring Hilary Duff out of the Disney Vault for this one. The new movie is going to have 7 Jar Jar Binxes and they’re going to sing. Chewbacca will speak perfect english and be played by Jack Blaque, and have a “love interest” chewbacca-type played by Quinn Latifer. C3puh will be all computer graphics and voiced by Robin Willyums in a Latino accent for some reason and will ALSO have a female robot “love interest,” also played by Robin Williams. R2Deetu will then refuse to appear in the film and will be replaced by an iPad. Andrew Hussy will be in it; he won’t make a cartoon, he’ll just be there himself and people will pledge money at him. In fact the whole movie will be guilt-funded through kickstarter even though the Disney gang has so much money that it can spend 4 billion on a totally solvent and profitable company on a lark. All the concept art will be done for free by “contest” entrants who get no financial stake in the anything. Also, the Pirates of the Carribbean and Harry Potta and the Witch and the Wardrobe and Lonely Island and Ron Paul and and Loki and Kony and Tony Toni Toné and a cat with imperfect command of language and an animated gif of Dr. Who and whatever else that’s popular now that Disney can buy and edit in before the premier are all going to be in it. And don’t say “This. Is. Awesome” like it’s three statements to try and slow down and prolong my exposure to your degenerative dialect. People who talk like that always think asinine mixups of “epic” trash are a good idea and that’s why we keep getting movies like Snakes on a Plain, Cowboys and Alienated Indigineous Peoples and Abraham Lincoln: Stunning Vampire.
Even if they were good I would assume they weren’t and prevent myself from watching them because they remind me of garbage off the internet. All that nonsense I just said as a joke because I believed it functioned as a joke is being pitched sincerely and having hundreds of millions of dollars invested into it because diluting the effectiveness of ridicule flung against you is evidently worth that to major movie companies. “You think my movies about sports betting, talking dogs and predictable romances are dumb, huh? Well watch me make a REALLY dumb movie that YOU can’t come up with any hypothetical thing dumber than!” We have a film industry increasingly fueled by dares. And they still make money, even when, or perhaps especially when they fail to exploit the full potential of an absurd idea, so now there’s no incentive to NOT be asinine.
I would report this as an abuse twitterer even if it WASNT a robot wasting random peoples’ time. The word “awesome” has NO MEANING because almost everything is “awesome” to some people. Or worse, “kind of awesome [guys].” I think the word you’re looking for in that case is “good” or “adequate,” and it isn’t even that!
One thing I like about the Star Wars films is the absolute absence of references to contemporary society, especially television and the internet. There is advanced scientific technology all over the place but nobody sends stupid text messages. The first Star War was waged in 1977; It would have been so easy and obvious to hire the Bee Gees to provide the soundtrack and have all the fights disco-themed. Even when George Lucas alienated/fired/imprisoned all dissenters in the company and started making goof-fests like Willow and the Star Wars prequels, he avoided linking his movies (that is, the movies themselves and not the external promotions) to junk outside of them that I hated. Can the “actual” Disney employees keep that up? Probably, but that doesn’t mean they will and I like pretending they can’t because I am compulsively contrary. I had the same fears about the recent Tintin film in something I wrote that I may or may not have posted before that last movie. I was worried he’d have an iphone and be posting facebook updates, either because facebook paid to be in the movie or because the sloths in charge thought that would make Tintin relatable, but that was mercifully not a factor in the end. One of Tintin’s strengths is that he remains relatable (provided it’s not one of the books with black people in it) even though he clearly belongs in the 1940s, and he doesn’t need to be a smug jerk and the captain doesn’t need to loudly belch and have a Scottish accent to remind people of other things that make money. Eh nobody is perfect. This imperfection makes it relatable. In the interest of awareness I should acknowledge that my spell-checking apparatus is greatly displeased by my use of “relatable.”
Still I will probably watch the sequel because I like the original property. So hopefully you can see why i need to limit the amount of properties that I like.
breaking news: Robin Williams to have supporting role in Tintin sequel following up on his terminally acclaimed performance in Star Wars 7.
I was working on an update for Friday, November 9, but then I spilled soup.
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I look forward to being kept from making regular, satisfactory updates by stuff that matters.
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Willie Wafer is a scumbag.
Willie Wafer is incontinent.
Willie Wafer does not respond well to criticism.