redrawn page 21 of that
One of my so-many problems is that I sometimes have a different idea of what I am trying to do than I did when I last looked at it, and then the NEXT time I remember something that I forgot on the previous occasion.
One of the reasons for the walls, I think now, is so that somebody visiting one house is not aware of the other houses, and how close they are. But somehow on numerous occasions I have made a neighboring house visible while a visitor is beside its front door. There is supposed to be a big hill and imperceptibly narrowing space so that visitors do not realize the road is a circle and the houses are all directly beside each other. In fact at one point I considered that maybe there is just ONE house but that was twice as unworkable as the present idea. I suppose it is like the old saying: you win some, you spend the rest of your life trying to recreate those circumstances and eventually give up in disgust at yourself and the world.
I dropped the “space” gag. In this situation this could be legitimately misconstrued as space travel occurring. Nobody has brought this up to me yet, but perhaps no one who would has yet gotten far enough with a fresh memory of this to wonder how elpse walked to the other planet that lope drove to. Also, following that with another view of the houses would be jarring regardless of how the gag was interpreted. However, I think this view is important. I am unsure why I left it out before, because I think even then it is what I meant for people to understand. At least by the first round of redraws I did. This may still fail to communicate what I meant it to, but now I will remember when I see it and stay on the same page with myself in the future. Unless I insert another one somewhere, which will increment the number.
This now offsets things by half a page, but pkzipfix suggested an additional elpse nemitz interlude to explain them better than I at present am explaining them in the future. I like them to be forgotten, or not known at all, and then to appear, and for readers to only realize later that they have been seen already, but maybe it is not as special as I think. This is hardly watchmin; my indestructible naked blue being is much more feared by the Russians.
Regardless, I have half a page to fill.
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an addendoy: the next part can be cramped into one page. It is lacking in visual detail or dialog so this should not be the problem I usually make it into. But where will the christmas duo go, then?
An older picture I recently altered to make prints of for a pumpkin-themed event
See if you can guess which table is mine
(hint: it is the one with the lamest merchandise that the least number of people are looking it)
I sold nothing, but I sold nothing at higher prices than I had ever sold nothing at before. Partially at the urging of the venue owner, and partially because for all my stabs at integrity it means nothing once I can blame something that feels like a lapse on someone else. It also means I now must keep that price consistent or else the people I showed the high price to will get angry when they see something less than that. Or they would if any had paid it.
Anyway, in addition to some free iced tea they were nice enough to let me have the featured artist space for January, (though the decision came prior to my recent performance) and I will have pictures on walls inside the restaurant, which will not have interaction with me as a condition to owning one. The scenario also is feasible that somebody may buy a picture just to get it OFF the wall so that food may be consumed more peacefully. I am intrigued to discover how I will mess this up.
This was an improvement on my last event, where there were mystery boxes dumped directly in front of my table which visitors used for sitting on while facing away from me and eventually for standing facing toward when all the boxes were taken. I would rather fail because of what I did than have nobody know I did anything. When that happens my goal becomes to make people know what I did, and I might not consider that I did something pathetic. After this week I feel like I have taken another step toward my ultimate goal of giving up. After all these months of distractions and setbacks it is nice to be making progress again.
Additionally, you may have become aware of the three for the moment unsightly link “buttons” now at the top of the main bimshwel page. If you had not then now you have, in a sense. One attempts to connect to whatever this is.
In the past i have given out “business” cards to people at events like these, but nothing ever comes of it because if anyone entered the website URL mentioned on the card, instead of art details they would see instead endless rambling about supermarkets and dumb things people do on the internet (such as write about it). Now they can find pictures, if they wait a few seconds for those awful “buttons” to load, and then they can see the pictures and think “yep, that’s the stuff I didn’t buy prints of today sold by that awkward weirdo who kept saying ‘hello’ out of forced habit but had no natural social inclinations beyond that. Gosh that was upsetting. Why did I take this card?”
I intend to make the awful buttons less awful, but I also intend to go running once in a while and eat pizza less often.
Ideally, the gallery’s rather default-looking setup is only temporary. Even so, it is rather nice for something free, I think. And unlike other free galleries, when something does not work it is not done deliberately as a ruse to try and sell me non-free version. It might be unethical for me to use something free as a means to make a profit, but I have not actually considered any way to use this for that purpose. I imagine I could send art-work through the mail. My imagination usually gets me into trouble.
Here is what my ridiculous imps would look like if I had business sense. More gimmicky, impossible to tell who drew them, and seemingly ripped off of other commercial properties. Is this an official spinoff of trolls or little ponies or care bears or an unrelated venture trying to chase the same buckwagon? People only relate to things that I do not relate to. They want to buy things that remind them of other things they have been ordered to buy. I would never buy one, and thus I am ill-equipped to make something that a buyer of these would buy.
Of course this display was gone the next time I came into the store and I have never encountered the name “zelfs” since nor had I prior to then (and I must be clear that I do not desire to), but that can also be desirable. If your soulless, derivative, cynical grab at money fails, you want everyone to have forgotten it by the time you make your next attempt at reminding people of stuff that worked. You might notice that is the opposite of my personal feeling, where I prefer to be remembered and to not remind anyone of anyone else. If I saw something that reminded me of me and it made money I would get mad, because then I would need to change me to seem like I wasn’t copying me.
It is common, on the art websites I use, for a participant to become infuriated at “art theft,” in which somebody tries to sell another person’s pictures and collect money for it. I don’t even matter enough for anyone to bother. I would probably doubt that if I heard it happened. If it was TRUE and it worked I would consider trying to take the perpetrator on as a business partner (an unbiased observer might advise that person to turn me down). The closest I came to “art theft” was when I taped a huge pencil drawing to a wall beside a door at the university while I went to retrieve some other things, and it fell off, and somebody picked it up and walked off with it because it looked like abandoned garbage rather than a legitimate finished project that the artist was trying to take home. When the person was persuaded by police intervention to give it back I almost felt bad. I felt like I had ruined several people’s days (not including mine). I wanted to thank the unidentified taker for wanting it. The party which I retrieved it from offered no comment on the quality. I might have let the person keep it but I had not scanned it yet and I needed to bring it back at the end of the semester for a grade anyhow (rubbish generally gets a better grade than nothing at all). Currently it is on a shelf smaller than itself behind me with other things stacked on it and probably no longer in displayable or theftworthy condition.
23 October 2012
Volcabbage, a controversial figure of the Sham Grimeasty in today’s Republic of Porfbe, had often said, in life “I want to dig a hole and live in it,” but until now details about being dead in one have been scant.
Initially, our excavation crew had been granted permission to investigate the tomb of Roneldo, the famous and influential warlord, but the Porfbeian government withdrew support the day before it was to happen, deciding in the end that Roneldo was too respectable to be violated in this way. They suggested Volcabbage instead. Volcabbage did not enjoy Roneldo’s level of popular support nor leave a lasting impact on anyone’s customs or ideology but nonetheless had a large and eccentric grave site. Our team of archaeologists was not terribly interested, but as they had come all that way they figured they might as well. We were unprepared for what we found. Primarily because we were prepared to find something else.
Volcabbage was a court eunuch who usurped power from the beloved monarch Gorko by changing the palace locks when Gorko went out to buy a pumpkin. Gorko, despondent with shame, went into exile and never returned, even though Volcabbage ended up getting tossed out of the palace and also exiled later that evening, having neglected to win the favor of the staff in charge of the windows. As it happens, Gorko did not maintain a stock of concubines so it is unclear why eunuchs specifically were employed on the premises.
Volcabbage was only emperor for several hours but somehow had time to order this massive tomb be built. It is speculated the tomb had been designed far in advance; possibly up to a week and a half, and Volcabbage stole power primarily to demand its construction. As the workers were busy on the construction they were not notified that Volcabbage had been ousted until they finished the job. Some of the non-structural artifacts are believed to have been contributed from Volcabbage’s personal extratombal property.
What an ugly diagram! We had best look at it more closely.
1: Entrance to tomb. (1a) top floor may have been rented out to other deceased to cover some of the costs
2: Inner passage to lower level. (2a) Escalator: Volcabbage was indecisive. If the afterlife proved unsatisfactory, the deceased may have wished to return, in which event a comfortable exit from the tomb was desirable. Similarly, if being reminded of this world once more helped to put things into their proper perspective, the spiral slide (2b) would provide a quick and simple re-entry.
3: Vehicle storage zone. classical decadent tombs often contained stables, so this was seen as an appropriate analogy. (3a) Helicopter chair: keeping in mind the idea of “if you can create a physical, visual approximation it will work in the afterlife,” this was designed to simplify transportation, as Volcabbage was not a licensed driver. (3b) Chariot: in Porfbeian society a license was not required to operate one of these. (3c) Hovercraft, because there was space for one.
4: Houses for servants. most of volcabbage’s employees were little imps. Some of them are more affluent than the other imps and it is speculated the wealthiest had their own little tombs containing even tinier servants
5: Banquet chamber. (5a) banquet table: Volcabbage rarely enjoyed company. It is uncertain if this meant to represent a pathetic hope for more human contact or to give unwanted guests a space to deal with their own business in while Volcabbage worked elsewhere, possibly at (6b). (5b) Terra cotta figure of Pog, the Inedible, on a large serving dish. Pog reminds us of an ancient Chinese story of a tree which grew old through being so useless that nobody saw any reason to chop it down. Pog, in contrast, was useless and lacking in flavor merely by chance, and no predators dared attempt to consume it. Volcabbage developed odd culinary tastes, it is said, as a means of encouraging visitors to purchase their own food, particularly guests of roommates. (5c) tiny table for tiny servants to hold banquets at.
6: Bed enclosure. Reduced scale, compared to banquet chamber. Much clutter that seems to be of little consequence. (6a) Bed said to be remote-operable, but as its optimum operation requires it lie dormant this is of dubious significance. (6b) miserable, tiny desk. Not ergonomically suited to any task we can think of.
7: “pig room.” Potentially the most peculiar section. It requires special attention and so it is illustrated and discussed in greater detail later in this document.
Though this is Volcabbage’s tomb, is not known whose body was actually buried within; considering Volcabbage’s known wish to not be buried. The most common theory is that it is actually the body of Rygar, a trusted court official. A more fringe suggestion is that the original body of volcabbage was dismembered and fed to partisans of Roneldo in anticipation of a bowtie-clad imp statue being placed inside the tomb. Overcome by food poisoning or a simple curse, their lives were thenceforth inconvenient and they were buried here afterward, for they contained the tomb’s owner, who they resented and decided to spite with their posthumous placement. In another oddity, however, no bodies were found. All that turned up were skeletons, the infamous restless undead warriors. The excavators thankfully found it unnecessary to battle the skeletons to gain their respect before entering. They are not currently a threat to visitors. However, a pine cone was discovered on the premises so it is advisable to be cautious.
7a Toilet paper: Volcabbage endured allergies regularly (possibly from overconsumption of foods like 7h pizza) and found “roll” the most effective method for the dispensation of allergy relieving paper material. This roll is very large and its user would never fear tearing off an amount inadequate to contain nasal excretion flow out of a desire to conserve the material. However, it is also far too large to be portable. We wonder why Volcabbage did not propose a representation for an allergy cure to go in the chamber.
7b Nemitz: Large ceramic figure of semi-divine entity of Mupelzorian religion. Porfbe is said to be named from one of Nemitz’s quotations. Unlikely to be an effective guard. Perhaps volcabbage just found it funny to look at. Its attire suggests butler-like duties, but again it may simply be to appear ridiculous. A similar statue called an “Elpse” (7c) was looted shortly after the excavation began. Nemitz was evidently less desirable.
7d dopes: Large-eared smiling creature with similar demeanor to nemitz. Volcabbage repeatedly claimed in life to despise these “dopes,” and yet the tomb is filled with them; one for each of the six columns and a rotating gold dope (7e) in the center. The other dopes are plastic. Hopefully the servant imps were not as foolish as dopes.
7f Bowtie imp: unlike the dopes, there is no imperial record alluding to the existence of a jade bowtie imp and it is not in the plan. It has been speculated that this was placed into the tomb by a rival, possibly Roneldo, to be a source of annoyance in the afterlife
7g Ducks. No ducks found.
7h Pizza. Volcabbage was an avowed believer in the importance of a balanced diet, low in saturated fat and cholesterol. The pizza represents people not having pizza anymore because it’s in this tomb and thus people will have no choice but to eat more healthy foods. Or perhaps Volcabbage just really liked pizza.
7i A bottle. Surely this represents a drink of some sort to go with the pizza. That seemed bland so elaborate handles were added to the sides. However, much like the large toilet paper roll, this must have made the bottle impractical for placing into a coat pocket.
7j The large pig, at last, represents a fondness for pigs. The pointless monarch once said of pigs “they look funny if they are sculpted and displayed.” Volcabbage must have thought a very large pig would be very funny. A strange person, Volcabbage.
Subsequent grimeasties looked upon Volcabbage with disgust. With a mind for cultural preservation the tomb was left where it was, but highways and utility poles were built nearby. Several chambers remain unexplored, including one that appeared to represent an elegant tiled single-occupancy bathroom, but it is doubtful that Volcabbage bathed and in any event we were getting tired and decided to go home.
i just spent 3 hours going from a French-audio news story I barely understood about Catalonia to looking up pictures of Kim Jong-il on escalators. Good night, internet. Clearly it’s too late for me to have one.
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Crucial correction: a recent study has revealed that I have indeed eaten peanut butter before. I hated it. Most commonly before I could read, inside brown, chocolate-looking deceptions.
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“Taste the flavors, as nature intended.”
I do not think, if nature had intentions, that one would be for us to chop animals into pieces and then stuff the pieces into little rectangular packages. I think nature’s promises would look more like…
Stix. There was a time when people put food on sticks. That was too complicated. What if you accidentally ate the stick? What if you accidentally jammed the stick into your ear? Now food IS sticks. Excuse me, stix. This is very important, evidently. Much easier and safer. But wait, Fribbage, you say. Wouldn’t removing the stick result in less non-food matter being wasted and discarded? Ah ha! Research has shown that stixifying edible objects allows them to be encased in non-biodegradable material where previously nobody would have bothered.
You might have thought: apples, those are easy! one of the most overproduced and underwhelming fruits on earth. There is no place that sells food where they cannot be obtained. Packaging them is totally unnecessary. WRONG. You neglected to consider the stix factor. Could I cut the apple into stix on my own? No, I could not. By expending the slightest bit of effort, could I remove any trace of a perceived need for another plastic-wasting piece of supermarketfluousness?
I suppose you think these are just regular dumb old raisins that somebody tossed in a structurally unremarkable box behind a picture of Highschool and Musical.
Maybe you think, if it’s REAL FRUIT, with a flashy little graphic saying so, why don’t I just BUY FRUIT? Do not agree, I am mocking you! Consider that “fruit” never has print testifying to it being real fruit. If it doesn’t come in a bag, how are we going to write what’s in it? More importantly, how are we going to put pictures of cartoon characters on it?
This picture is from 2008! Disney appealing this rule was to everyone’s benefit. Goofs are good for business.
True enough, there were those apples whose stickers had a picture of Garfield-the-cat’s head with a barcode frightfully superimposed over his teeth, but stickers are only there to annoy people, and to make consuming the fruit a frightful, obsessive compulsion triggering-ordeal, either when removing and disposing of the things or discovering them permanently adhered to a common household surface when a fellow resident fails at the task. They have no practical function. Fruit stix are much safer, and better to give your kids than Dunkaroos, much as having a pumpkin thrown at you is better than having a used diaper thrown at you.
I hsve often remarked at the ingenuity of Captain Crunch, who could not create real doughnuts or chocolate and so synthesized both, but Little Debbie raised the bar so high that it fell off the supports by failing to even achieve the shape. Worse, she could not spell stix properly. Since there is no Food and Drug Administration definition of what cannot be stix, I don’t know why Debbie would let such an obvious quality error past her diabetic shock fixed gaze.
Glix Stix! Just like glow stix but with less nutritive value.
Is there nothing we cannot make into stix? Is there nothing we cannot make into Pringles? Unlike a majority of similarly-shaped items, Pringles already weren’t potato chips, and now they are less than that. They weren’t about to let somebody else get the jump on their not-quite-being a regulated commodity celebration. Also, though they dare call themselves neither chip nor stick, “PIZZA” is still a-o-k.
Pringles are also mutltigrain. Not quite whole grain, and not quite food, but wow they sure feel healthy when they have the word grain printed on their tubes!
Kid Cuisine Snack Stix. These are undoubtedly created from the remains of that really loopy-looking mascot seen on the packages through much of 2011.
Though stix-like food was still a factor. Oddly enough less stick-like than a real hotdog. Better poke it with a fork just to make sure it’s dead.
My picture from the store was blurry, perhaps a self-defense mechanism by my camera, so I looked for other people’s pictures of queasine stix. This one is still of minimal quality, but that hasn’t been a factor yet today, and I was fascinated by the picture of the little penguin, also a Martin Short fan, evidenced by the Ed Grimley hair style, stepping on a fute ball while reciting a hubris-filled monologue at the poor hopeless stixling. Sportly imagery is always a good hint that the brand has been criticized for being rubbish, like when Ronald McDonald inexplicably took up basketball in the mid 1990s. Subtly imply that eaters should engage in heavy aerobics prior to eating (or in this case just step on a ball and imagine you might), because changing the product would amount to admitting that it was rubbish, and make you liable in the lawsuits filed against you for selling rubbish and pretending it was food for years and years. Also, if the product itself were changed to be less rubbishy, then people would notice it was different, and this awareness might make them realize they were eating frozen, reheated tubes of goops that they could buy fresh, in jars, at much higher quantities for less money.
There, again! I have never eaten peanut butter or jelly in my life, nor have I in anyone else’s life, but it certainly LOOKS delicious here. And by grebij, it has NO high fructose corn syrup in it! That’s a bonus! A health benefit! Instead of using less sugar, you can use the same amount and boast that you didn’t use a different kind of sugar! It wants you to be impressed not because it did something good, but merely that it resisted doing something bad, even though it actually did, just under a different name. The anti corn syrup hype subdued the too much sugar hype and then they both wondered “why are we fighting each other?” The Westboro Baptist church website should have a glossy seal on it that says “contains no racism!”
and we are completely helpless.
Meanwhile, the artist is hopeless.
Tuesday: alas, my inability to fulfill my hope is not irregular at all.
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I shall return to my regular quarters on Tuesday. Hopefully that will permit me to resume irregularity.
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May 27, no major dope news to report.
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I recently was looking through some of the sketchbook pages I had computer-scanned up to now, and came across a letter I had quite some while ago sent to somebody after also scanning. Included in the letter, and perhaps the reason i am no longer on any terms with the recipient, was a tiny drawing in the lower left corner. Since i thought i might want to investigate the image more thoroughly later without having to be reminded of the awful words, I cropped the image and saved it seperately. Without thinking (its subject matter made thought unwelcome) i named it “captaindope.png.” This morning (February 13) it suddenly struck me:
CAPTAIN DOPE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
Who gave it that rank? Who commissioned it? Who promoted it? Why is it such a prestigious naval officer? captain dope outranks Lieutenant Dan!
I am not personally fond of Forrest Gump or his film but I sympathize with Lieutenant Dan, especially when his orders come down the line directly from captain dope. Forrest Gump has many skills by accident. The dope has NO SKILLS on PURPOSE (with NO purpose). I would NEVER obey ONE order that came from captain dope. If IT ordered me to not jump off the ship that is precisely what I would do! And no, captain dope is not smart enough to utilize reverse psychology. It isn’t smart enough for most things. Its only ability is to stand there and smile. and by the way if I stayed on board I would go over the waterfall.
Who put the dope in a sailboat and who put a hat on it?
This isn’t the first time; a recurring unstandability of mine is that some dopes will randomly be wearing hats. who is the rogue maniac traveling the lands putting hats on dopes? obviously dopes do not put hats on themselves. I get the impression they “know” how much stupider they look and become accordingly more oppressive, however.
I DEMAND that a dumpster be brought on board so that captain dope can be tossed into it. captain dope is even less qualified than captain crunch, the man who orders himself to crunchatize himself and once “accidentally” turned all his cereal into choco donuts (not to be confused with chocolate doughnuts, which choco donuts meet neither legal minimum requirement for).
Captain Crunch, who apparently recently started an internet video series where he is made of paper and re-enacts classic comedy bits from trailers to cg animation movies (screaming for no reason). Oh yes and shills for sugar-encrusted bits of gravel intended to function as meals for children. Keep on reaching, dope.
I question whether that is the real captain in the video. First of all, his mouth isn’t open nearly wide enough, and also his eyes are firmly embedded in his head. To have captain dope aspire to be an imposter of someone so amoral is just icing on the icing (cake would be too nutritious).
Our crack reading team is currently investigating other reasons to avoid cake.
Rattle me bones! (it’s a stupid video, watch out (or don’t watch at all))
That skeleton offers up to you ALL of its treasure, provided you do not rattle its bones. Is that really so much to ask? it is quite a generous offer. You can have your FILL! It makes but one request of you. And yet still we continue to rattle its bones. The world can learn a lot from that skeleton.
The poor thing’s disabled, for beet’s sake. First of all, it’s a skeleton. It was born without any skin or muscle mass. Also, it’s missing a leg and an eye. Skeletons don’t have eyes anyway, but this one’s eye space was apparently injured in combat badly enough that the skeleton covers the region out of personal shame.
an unusual property of the skeleton’s shame is the less it wants to be seen, the more apparent its presence becomes. It went to hide in the dark and its bones lit up, so that little could be seen except the bones. Is that fair?
See the way those cruel children laugh at the friendly undead seafarer! Do not blame yourself for your injury, skeleton! Accept your [lack of] body for what it is. I wonder if it only gives up its treasure because it has low self-esteem and thinks it has to do things like this to have friends.
Those kids are not your real friends, skeleton! They are only using you to further their own pirate careers (consider the striped shirt of the one on the left). I worry that someday they’ll push that skeleton too far… what’s this? A visitor?
a ratty hat, ratty eye patch, dessicated parrot corpse, and a pipe which presumably smells heavily of skeleton. So you can ultimately have your fill of absolute rubbish. About the only thing we can learn from that skeleton is what strategies to avoid when attempting to curry the favor of others.
You, sir, have a clear anti-skeleton bias and I have difficulty taking your opinion seriously. It is not for you to decide what possessions may be treasured by this excitable glowing bloodless mariner or its admirers. I suppose you also would disparage the captain’s dancing skills and the merit of the trumpet skeletons.
B) One’s dancing skills are necessarily impaired by being affixed to a ship’s wheel.
C) I would indeed dispute the merit of trumpet skeleton, on account of their lack of sufficient lung capacity (i.e. any at all) and labial equipment to operate said instruments. Not only that, it’s an easily avoidable situation under any circumstances, as a less woefully resourceful skeleton would simply take advantage of its natural accoutrements and strike its ribs in the manner of a mallet-based idiophone. Clearly this was a decidedly incompetent crew all around, even by the considerably lowered skeleton standards.
bones, you have something to add?
Is that all? I’m trying to defend your species and you waste my time with that?
the only thing dumber than a skeleton interrupting my business to get all up in my business and announce that it used the Medical Herb would be… oh, now who is it?
…would be using the Medical Herb on another skeleton! A backwards skeleton! Arrrrf not only was that stupid, it took up a lot more space and many more additional seconds! And I don’t necessarily need to see your creepy breathing gyrations, either! We established earlier that you don’t have lungs! what’s your point? I am busy here! Oh what’s this? Someone else is trying to get my attention now! Busy busy busy. I will finish reprimanding you later!
I REFUSE to view that photo!
What’s so great about the dumb old Medical Herb anyway?
ATIPHOGIHIOGHEGIHAAAAAAAAAAAANDONHISFARMHEHADSOMEDUCKSEIEIO The ultimate treachery! I thought skeletons were my friends but they have been turned against me. I assumed they were trying to excuse their recreational marijuana usage by claiming it was for “medical” purposes, but this bowtie shuckster would never advocate a personal enjoyment bringing measure of any kind for anyone but itself. It must be living in Oregon and working overtime to turn the now legalized leaf into a most unscrupulous sort of profit-making venture. Not only has it lied to these skeletons about the Herb’s ability to regenerate flesh, now I have to deal with undead potheads. What horror.
Speaking of horror
My favorite part about Rattle Me Bones is that it was rejected as a meme by the high meme council. Yes indeed people on the internet can make an obscene elitist bureaucracy out of ANYTHING. It has used the word “notable” to exclude something from a collection of haphazard trash. It thinks it’s wikipedia. And wikipedia itself thinks it’s something that it isn’t.
I have long claimed that what now conspicuously-label themselves as “memes” are manufactured and only persist because persons imagine they can leech popularity by exalting and imitating something they don’t legitimately care about, with only the insincerity and grabs for empty fame being organic or memetic, but I suspected I was just being spiteful. It is “good” to know there are actually people who consider themselves more qualified to judge memes than others, who control when one is in or out. From the looks of the header, “know your meme” actually is a registered trademark (and apparently Rattle Me Bones isn’t). Something that exists by endlessly remixing someone else’s material with someone else’s material, or even just exploiting someone else’s remix, is concerned I’m going to try and use its good name for my own profit. Or maybe it’s a joke. The good thing about the meme club is that it is consistently impossible to tell what is “supposed” to be stupid and what just is.
This makes me want to go to law school and torture myself for however many more years just so I can become a judge and throw out the case when Cheezburger, Inc tries to ruin somebody’s life in court. And then I’ll drown myself in pudding because I became a judge for a really stupid reason.
It is also “nice” to know that I could write a page about pine cones or dopes, have it be rejected (I would insist on that) from there but still evidently gain enough google traction that it shows up in image searches.
In my own case, I distinctly remember Rattle Me Bones and its trumpet skeletons from 1989 (one benefit to my age, I suppose) and don’t need an advisory board to tell me it is too stupid to talk about publicly. That’s the whole point.
Also good is that the lowest, most unspicable candidate for the meme-knowing board of directors is now a skeleton and likely ineligible for employment. Maybe 2013 can be different after ehhh
I would like to say we are both smart enough to know that isn’t how it works, but I also like using our intelligence disparity to show how awful the bow tie creature is. In fact, I don’t think things can get any dumber.
Well I would not go that far.
However, I am definitely going very far away.
Prior to then I should acknowledge my unconsulted collaborator, whose permission I did not seek to reuse his skeleton related comments or surround them with pictures of more skeletons, since I presumed he had better things to do.
It occurs to me that the children’s treasure map (which they apparently mistrustfully consult again after arriving at their apparent destination, as though to make absolutely certain that they have read things correctly, suggesting a similar dubiousness concerning its factual accuracy) curiously enough leads to a ship at sea, if admittedly not very far from the coast. The map also appears to be fairly old, which suggests that said ship has been there a while, and furthermore was considered even at the time it was drawn up to be a reasonably permanent fixture. I can only assume that the skellingtons were dumb enough to A) draw a map leading to a “treasure” aboard their ship, B) not realize that a ship is typically not a fixed geographical fixture, and C) fail to realize the importance of raising the anchor for proper navigation, thereby inadvertently assuring that their ship is a fixed geographical feature.
Furthermore, Käpt’n Klappermann would appear to be one of the infamous fraudulent “skeleton medalists” that have been decried on this site in the past. I can only assume that the medal in question is in fact
the bow tie fool’s “worst” place award, as strongly suggested by the styleless scapegrace’s apparently being in league with the boney blackguards.
Everything makes sense at last. In the respect that we all know that it makes no sense and is terribly stupid.
What the hat is this? Why did this teacher write this note beside this nemitz? Now nemitz thinks it is giving me advice! nemitz thinks it can tell me what to do! I’m tired of this kind of garbage from nemitz. I CAN’T be the only person who has to put up with this. Surely it’s not following around and annoying me exclusively, right? Does it really think i want to be like it?
Did you ever think that you would be this mitz?
NO! ME?! Such an accusation! Even though we appear to suddenly be in a courtroom it is not I who is on trial here, but I shall make this unmitztakably clear to you. I have NO and shall never have ANY aspiration or desire to be that or ANY mitz. I resent that it thinks I do or that I thought I might, and I resent that you weren’t certain, for that matter! “gosh i wonder if i could potentially be thiz mitz?” it NEVER HAPPENED. You know what else nemitz thinks? You shall!
In this never before published rubblish, I reveal that nemitz has awful taste in music.
The problem is nemitz THINKS that’s good! But reek zeek zurk is not good! Your ears are more than big enough to be able to discern that, foolish mitz! If nemitz knew how to write, and you told it to describe its favorite song, and it obeyed, it would write, in english, “reek zeek zurk.”
Also, the frown making concept album for the lost conveyed dope evidently had an epilogue that I forgot about. Nemitz is so awful that I disremembered a crucial piece of dope history. Certainly, I would LIKE to forget, but that would doom me to repeat it! Like right now, for example.
Could nemitz possibly be aware of how unwanted it is? How unloved and unneeded? A question for scholarly debate: does nemitz ENJOY being a scumbag? If it knew it was a scumbag it would have stopped by now unless it liked things that way (because it was a scumbag). I love a good mystery, but I despise a bad mitztery, and there certainly aren’t any good ones.
Increasingly I believe that nemitz enjoys being reprehensible. If there was one imp you would want to reprehense, that would be nemitz, which is very convenient for it. I know that I have reprehensed nemitz countless times, unaware that the whole while the fool was reveling in it. That does NOT, however, mean that nemitz TRICKED me. That was a coincidence. It couldn’t be smart enough to know I didn’t know that it liked being awful. I assumed it thought that it was morally right.
Obviously it never has been, but establishing that it knew it wasn’t is crucial to maximizing its prison sentence.
I cannot afford to keep supporting nemitz’ dreadful habit.
However, if we, as people who aren’t nemitz, cooperate, I believe we can clean up this town.
Somebody called Kiki-Uma drew this. Ordinarily I do not post drawings by others here. Not out of principle, merely that I rarely do it. However I must protest on this occasion. Not the non-policy; in fact if it were a real thing I would be prevented from showing this image and then would have less to protest.
I protest dopes. This is notable for featuring an imp that once proclaimed its feet splendid while amidst danger. Here it has no feet or conceals them out of shame and it is rightly served. Of course on the previous occasion it was also decapitated, but perhaps it will only learn if the punishment is directly tied to the wrongdoing. It is rare that an artist so effectively captures the utter stranglobility of these useless wretches. I cannot stand it. But I must, because my chair was so disgusted at the sight of them that it went for a walk.
I want to punch them! They are so proud of themselves! They love having large ears and being absurd. The dope’s ears were pretty gosh darn big before but this is beyond inexcusable, refusable and disposable. These fiends have interfered with road traffic through their aimless game. Luckily the dope is too dumb to realize that it isn’t green and surely any motorists who aren’t dopes will also notice and suspect that something is amitz. Amiss, pardon me (but not them). As for nemitz, how can we possibly punish something that likes beets and likes dopes? This lot is incompetent. They are unfit to stand trial. Rather they should be jailed and executed immediately. I initially wrote that last remark about the bow tie creature but it probably applies to these as well.
Everything dope related is a sabotage of decency. I should not be surprised that they have upgraded to actual mechanical sabotage.
attention populace, nemitz has issued a thumbs up rating on the topic of nemitz. I cannot stand idly by while nemitz is tolerated. I pledge to fidget uncontrollably until justice is done.
I was recently in such a place that a tremendous fuss was made over me placing a hat on a table. I consider that classy compared to a big fuzzen nemitz foot. The trouble with nemitz is that everything it does is troublesome
nemitz has a master’s degree in crumbummery from bob dopes university. and it thinks it’s better than me because it has a degree and I don’t. But its wrong; I have many degrees of rage-induced heat which while not adequate to boil nemitz alive will surely aid its discomfort. I will toss nemitz into a landfill. sooner or hopefully even sooner it will stay there.
In response I drew this picture with that artist’s characters: the frogoid Chiro in the center and the two “mist twins” Yaku (red) and Yakuma (blue) who appear together sometimes. However, something stupid happened and several more dumb imps appeared. They really have few scruples. When I engage in picture-swapping it is my personal policy to give too much or too little so that the other party is as uncomfortable as possible. It is the only way they will learn.
Somebody evidently called Cody whose primary online presence that I am aware of is tumbly seemed to want, for a reason I could not discern, a picture of the imp Topaglior, the dope ripoff I ripped off for the illustrations for the text to a baffling “play” I “wrote” in 2004. So I drew six instead. Even more baffling is that I posted them here. They are not doing anything of consequence. Neither am I. I hope that they feel welcome.
I fixed the thing that I broke! It had disabled a crucial animated gif.
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I hate hearing about when radio was king. Radio was “king” for a pretty short period overall in the history of media. It truly was not so very long before motion pictures usurped the imaginary throne. They had sound before the 1930s, but even prior to that they were big business, comparable to, if not more so, than radio.
I think internet pornography has been king for longer than radio was, if the only way we might communicate the concept of fiscal success is through a monarchial analogy, and if this analogy holds up at all, the king is a reprehensible creep who only retains status by having knights hack up civilians. Your dominance doesn’t mean beets when it is entirely dependent on there not being any competition. Radio was in charge right up until somebody else made an attempt at being in charge.
Radio repologists are the same sorts of people who never forget to mention that Popeye was more popular than Mickey Mouse for about a week at some point in the 1930s. By making a big deal of that point you imply that for every other point in their coexistence Mickey Mouse was the better and Mickey Mouse is about the blandest character on the blanet.
The early history of radio, in general, is depressing. This in part is due to the entire history of radio being depressing. I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t hear about it so much. I hate that stupid music that plays in the background, I hate the nearly indistinguishable announcer voices, I hate every program’s name ending with “show” (how did that start, anyway? No one never saw a thing). I hate the Lone Ranger. Maybe his show was well written (just as likely not), but my only experience with it are despicable characters on television referencing it. A lot of my least favorite fictional people have been huge Lone Ranger fans.
And he wasn’t even alone! I don’t need to have seen/heard his deeds to know that he had Tonto along to not get any credit through not being a white guy. Chipwich, since it’s on the radio Tonto could be a robot or a skeleton or a sentient boot but you made him a human so you may as well acknowledge that he exists.
I hate hearing how CBS had to “raid” Jack Benny, like there were only two people in the whole world capable of being entertaining when heard but not seen. Historians would have me believe the only things important to all 1930s Amelicans were Jack Benny, Seabiscuit and racism. But they failed! It’s more interesting for me to consider that back then people could have two first names, as opposed to now when people have names like Madison Carter and MacKensie Potatobucket and Vanburen McFrankenstein.
It’s very possible, that since I haven’t been able to move on yet, if I’m alive fifty years from now, I’ll still feel attached to the early days of video games, but I can tell you I won’t trust anyone to recap it for me, because I know they’re going to say Pac-Man, they’re going to say Mario and they’re going to say Crash bleeding Bandykook in the intro sentence and the whole operation is going to dance around hardly straying from those three points. No Moraff, no Electro Brain, no Triffix, none of the mistakes that I’m obsessed with. Just the mistakes I hate but that other people don’t regard as mistakes. They might mention Final Fantasy, but only the first one, because they know what little tolerance I have for that.
If I live to be seventy years old and still have people willing to speak to me, I’m not going to be recalling Tetris the way old people now recall Marylin Monrovia or James Bean. It was fun for a few hours and exploited into total reprehensility.
I found that in a file titled “objects.txt” dated 5-27-2008 that I probably meant to be a collection of unfinished website items, but then I continued starting new unfinished things and forgot the old ones. I don’t entirely recall what prompted me to complain about that and then not do anything about it for four or more years, but the thing I typed beneath here reminded me of it so now it is above that and your problem.
This is from somebody’s tumblor web-page. A string of folks I know absolutely nothing about are eagerly anticipating an upcoming film by quoting dialog from an ad for it beneath an endlessly looping captioned clip from the ad which probably links to the full ad.
I guess Zangief is considered “bad” either because he is Russian (Soviet, in fact) or because the people who made this movie just threw some money around at some licenses and aren’t inherently more qualified than anyone else who’s ever put a video game character in a feature film.
Except there was also Kingdom Hearts, another baffling disney/video game cross-over, which was an actual video game, that must have at least been mildly playable, even if I wouldn’t, because one of its primary plot components is fondly reminiscing about when Mickey Mouse was king. I have difficulty reserving more faith than I have in a Disney supervised video game for a Disney developed video game movie. I do know that I’m not looking forward to footage of the Dynamite Dux doing the Charleston in front of a white background under a huge font saying “Wreck it Ralph #1 movie in the country!” when that inevitably occurs.
The page I saw this on also had someone complaining about fedoras for being marketed at the wrong people. Certainly I have stated fedora issues, but Tumblr users are the last people who should be complaining about marketing. They are marketing incarnate. They promote, buy and forget products in time to promote buy and forget the next ones, totally for free, like no one but the most cynical radio-era spokesoafs could ever have expected people to be dumb enough to. Suddenly in less than a day I had seen stuff about this movie from five different people, all making the exact same points (“this movie will be good because it acknowledges that video games exist and I cannot contain my enthusiasm over it”), without my having given any effort to look them up. The catch to this marketing method is that the tumblites have to actually like or expect to like the product, but on an internet that I can win the entirety of by being aware of something that anyone else who grants themselves authority to award the whole internet is nostalgic for, it really isn’t that hard.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? good work, I made “comics” about the NES game Wizards and Warriors before I could read, and I reckon pasting whimsical dialog next to video games sprites has been an internet institution for plenty over a decade. Why is this film special? Because it’s not on the internet. Nobody here is pausing to ponder: “this is significant because it has nothing to do with us.” It may even be tolerable as a result of that, if I succeed in forgetting the hype. I am weary of hype.
Golly I’d pay up to three easy installments of $48.95 for that! Of course I could PINCH even more PENNIES by not buying anything at all. Is this product any good? I don’t know because I don’t trust essentially anonymous mobs of strangers, compensated or otherwise.
And this idiot IS compensated. Ripping off the same tirelessly impact-font-labeled pictures as everyone else but putting ads (that SCROLL WITH THE PAGE) on them
and then its own copyright symbol on the ads and saying “derp” the whole while, thoughtlessly mocking my people. Though I mock dopes, dopes are not derps. Dopes are content and there is no struggle to life as a dope and they don’t have feelings to hurt. That is why I deliberately work to hurt them. This is like comparing apples and pineapples. Pineapples are scum.
Disclaimer: I accept no responsibility for anything but will accept your money
Old pictures, old gimmicks, old buck-passing, old buck-keeping. I have been concerned that I’m so out of touch with society that I can’t tolerate new things, but maybe the problem is that the new stuff is fundamentally the same as before.
I recall all manner of gorbo going gorby over Matrix 2, Snakes on a Plant, New Transfarmers, the 2008 Baracko Bama and/or Pon Raul presydential campaigns, the Smashing Brawl Bros and all these things. They live for hype, promotion, consumption and imitation. They were raised on it and they don’t know how to not do it. I’ve failed to be in their clubs for so long because I must not enjoy being in their clubs. I want to interact with talented people, not mere complacently resigned fans of talented people, and certainly not fans of lazy nonsense. But lazy nonsense is more likely to get reblogged and less likely to get discouraged if it doesn’t get reblogged.
I consider intelligence a talent but that statement seems even more pretentious with that word in it.
Considering that it took me about 40 minutes to find the zangief page again after I made the decision to use the little bit of text I typed about it (which has mutated considerably) I really don’t know what to think about the approaching movie he is sort of in. And that’s fine! I’m allowed to not explode with excitement every time somebody wants to sell me something. I should be glad that video games are getting some legitimacy and that the old ones I actually care about aren’t being totally ignored, despite the efforts of the xbox all-army-guy/zombie coalition. Even if it’s in an ugly, 3d, “fictional characters are REAL, BORING people just like you” overhyped contemporary above-everything “yeah, no” obnoxiocomedy which, much like toy story, will undermine its apparent fondness for “classic” toys by saturating the planet with sweatshop labor merchandise based on the exclusive intellectual property of the filmmakers. I like that Zangief is in it and Crash Bandicorf isn’t, and that Bowser’s eyes weren’t made really small and moved close together (meanwhile keeping the head the same size) so to better resemble the facial features of an immersion-breaking-by-design celebrity voice actor who uses a Scottish accent for some reason. The scene in the preview is probably the extent of their parts, but I didn’t watch the preview anyway. I don’t have time to watch it; I’m too busy complaining about it.
Nobody has tried to sell me on the original characters yet, as it happens. Only the incidental background characters. Can a movie work entirely through interest in the secondary characters? Disney definitely sold Aladdin as if it was a movie about the Genie. And this time there’s no gentleman’s agreement to violate with Dr. Robotnik over his presence in the promotional material that will lead to him being voiced by Helletic Hojo in the sequel. That is the most pointless sentence I’ve ever written. At this point I would like to gripe that it’s the newer Robotnik who wears suits made of rubber and zippers and goggles on his head despite already having dark protective lenses over his eyes at all times, but actually he has never dressed in an especially dignified manner and he’s the only character from his franchise that I can still bear to look at.
Bah I’m too angry. I’m even too angry at how angry I am. I like a lot of things! I like… (don’t say dopes, don’t say dopes, don’t say dopes) yes I sure do.
NO! I’ve been misrepresented! Google isolated a single remark from the page featuring the most conspicuous commercial property on the page whose name I didn’t make the effort to misspell, and declared that the title! It’s almost as if google just saw a picture of a preview of this website and made a judgment based on that, except it didn’t because if I was going to pay to advertise this site I’d look at the money and buy a pizza instead. Giggle changed the title because the actual page says “luckycharms.com” on it which I guess is a problem because apparently real people go to the websites of breakfast cereals, and do it by typing urls into google instead of the place they are actually supposed to type urls, and these people are worth accommodating for some reason. I didn’t even write that sentence anyhow! Kid Rock did! And the next line is “I like Andersen windows!” Why isn’t that the title? Andersen Windows are much better actors. Nobody understands me/us!
I’m going home to people who appreciate me!
Electronic Banking Monopoly. Hey let us take a really boring game and remove the most fun element from it: brightly colored, utterly unrealistic paper money in high denonominations. Ordinarily I’d want only 500 dollar bills, stacks of them, but in Monopoly the fifty has a more interesting color and so I don’t mind keeping those around. Otherwise I don’t enjoy Monopoly a great deal; it goes on for far too long and I’ve never seen a game end but out of apathy. Often time itself is the one who gives up. I hate most board/card games because they tend to be more chance than skill, if they aren’t chance exclusively, and if I’m playing one that means other people also are and they’re probably enjoying it and that means they’ll keep right on playing it. I can’t stand seeing people enjoy stuff that I hate. I like Scattergories because nobody else does and so I never play it and so I don’t discover anything that makes me realize I hate it.
The valet siblings could at least do the cards or the calculator up in a similarly impractical fashion to the money. What’s the calculator even for? When I use my debit card I expect someone else to figure out what I owe so I can look at my bank statement three months later and wonder when Comcast increased my monthly internet charge by twenty dollars or what I bought from “S-CONN-ST-U-BKS NEW HAVEN” that cost $109. There is uninvestigated potential to distract from the classy deficit with fraud and identity theiving shenanigans.
Much, if not all, of Monopoly’s enduring charm lies in its aesthetic, tactile appeals and how antiquated it is. Sure I’ll represent myself with a tiny metal thimble. I don’t know what a thimble is for; I believed it was a trash can for long enough, even though that concept of a trash can was also antiquated and based on outdated cartoons I’d seen and managed to not decry the lack of in-touch pandering within. Monopoly has absolutely no contemporary social relevance. Yet it has survived despite that. Its mascot is a sphere-headed 19th century mustachioed man wearing a top hat and a bowtie.
That alone proves he uh gosh I don’t even remember.
He would have no use for a credit card. Money to him is as much a financial asset as piece of physical property to act as a visual aid in his mocking of the down-trodden. His greatest joy in life is lighting hundred dollar bills with his cigar while posing in front of orphanages getting bulldozed to make way for enormous green plastic monoliths. He didn’t accumulate that much money to let someone else put it into THEIR enormous hilltop vault with a gold dollar sign on it that his only assurance at the existence of requires him to log into a website whose most intimidating security measure is refusing to cache his username.
I assume the robot edition will not be having any house rules regarding what the “free parking” space does. I also assume that having a computer screen 64% wider than when I started with the website has in the past 2.5 years made me feel like the same amount of text is less and that’s why I added another sentence here.
As every gimmick version of monopoly has a simpsons edition it is only fair that every simpsons gimmick has its own edition of monopoly.
Solly Humphrey the Humping Dog, KISSOPOLY still wins the absolutely shouldn’t exist contest. FRIENDS TRIVIA is disqualified on the grounds that I can’t tell what it is by my shoddy picture-taking. But there on the left, JOHN DEERE MONOPOLY! If there’s a perfect metaphor for the contemporary successful American, it’s John Deere Monopoly. Going completely out of your way to prove you love real man’s work and values and bootstraps while you invest in property, policies, and ways of life that have in mind absolutely none of the best interests of the people who actually do that work.
Obviously the original least-altered Monopolite is still sold and these are not intended to replace it, and any business has an obligation to make useless derivations of their popular properties forever until those stop selling, but I wish they didn’t.
Monopoly the board game the video game has itself seen a few hundred incarnations since it started. What could possibly be in Monopoly3 that requires so much hard drive space? Not “new stuff,” clearly. Since the video game version never had rainbow money to begin with, Monopoly log3 can’t even remove that and call it a feature. And I saved that image in 2004 so they’re probably up to Monpoly log12 by now, which is 3 gigabytes in size, justified by the inclusion of technology which requires you to be connected to the internet at all times to reprove you didn’t steal Monopoly, the game of business ethics violations every day and also requires that you install Quicktime for some reason. That is a separate download. A few years ago my family rented a house (I acknowledge the seeming irony of including this in an essayoid with so many jipes at oafs with too much money; trust me that we absolutely couldn’t afford to do that) and the owners had a Playstation but the only games were generic racing and Barbie titles, plus Monopoly the game, because they bring their kids up RIGHT. This wasn’t even the same house that had the full run of Down East Magazine stored in the basement.
Lamentably I no longer have the pictures which document this because I was storing them at that point on a computer whom my brother challenged for unrelated reasons to a series of physical contests in which it was not victorious, so you’ll just have to imagine the excitement. I’m left to assume the owners were the most boring people in the world or they merely hid any game that they thought someone might want to steal.
Surprisingly the maccident wasn’t because the full size edition of this was sequestered within it, either.
You fool! That’s what they would want you to think if they were clever enough to think about things!
I really ought to learn to stop asking rhetorical questions around these parts.
Do you know what I just realized? What? WHO TOLD??!
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I wonder how many times through history we’ve let some Carmen Sandiego-type villain make off with a roman aqueduct or a pyramid just because Interpol tried to go after them without the right warrant.
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I think I would do better on social networking sites if they dropped the social aspect. And the networking, as well. Thus I am here.
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page 48 of this.
I tried using a brush. maybe you can tell. The ink ran out too fast, though. The pen doesn’t hold enough ink and the brush holds even less. Or the same amount but it goes on thicker and thus needs to be redipped sooner. Whenever I DO get faster I decide more things need to have ink on them and so no time is saved.
I was able to reduce the grime by increasing the contrast. I could have done that last time but it removed some of my fainter cross-hatching. This time I realized that faint cross-hatching looks terrible in a digitally colored comic strip so I didn’t do any except when I forgot not to.
In fack this is 48 and a bit of 49 since that last update had a bit of 48 in it. I didn’t do five rows again because I took the art in a direction that doesn’t look good, make sense, or get drawn comfortably, and so I yet ponder the ensuing frames. Whoopth. We won’t be here long. Or they won’t, anyway. It will be four months at the least for us.
It’s just supposed to be a silly diversion before the dorks go where they mean to be going (which is also a silly diversion, since I never wrote an ending), so it shouldn’t take me a week to draw the outside of the building. I thought hey wouldn’t it be funny if I based this on a real place that I went to and just happened to have pictures of? No because nobody who will see this has heard of that place (even I forgot that) and there’s nothing inherently funny about it apart from the name, which I changed, and not even to something that rhymes with the original or that is legible at the size I wrote it. And yet this “page” probably has about the least amount of post-scan line modification I’ve ever had to do, so once I totally lose my ability to reconsider bad decisions, the drawings will be very solid.
Prior to the decision, I couldn’t have spent more than three minutes on this. The ideas are spontaneous but they take so long to draw that I have a lot of time to regret them.
I considered writing “grub hub” on the revised sign, but there is an actual website called that. Here it is being discussed at Chow Hound. I wonder how food dude will weigh in on this.
Oh no, that’s real too! And now that I’ve violated oh so intellectual property of food dude SOPIPA is going to send me to the nibblet gibbet.
I’m so used to seeing stupid anthropomorphisized fruit in my supermarket photograph collections that I must have momentarily forgotten how incredibly strange these look when I mentioned them last week. No doubt that was a factor in my deciding to take the picture in the first place, however. Instead of unfeasible cartoon eyeballs they or an unknown party (perhaps each other?) have ripped out pieces of their own skin and shaped that into cruel, functionless mockeries of eyeballs. The nugget fiends don’t seem to mind, but it is often the case that a shriek of joy temporarily shares a facial expression with unfathomable horror.
What makes these nuggets “au some?” I can find no reason for the spelling/spacing liberties here, unless it’s related to the nutritional ennui that leads a person to pick up a box of fruit nuggets.
Howdy. May I help you? Fruit, you say?
Ey I ain’t no health nut, I just want something fruit-y.
au, have some nuggets.
And now, all new* nuggets the drink. *Apart from this picture being old and my having forgotten I had taken it four years prior to the other one.
Fruit juice is for squares. We want juice FROM squares. From the nuggets that are made from part of the juice of the fruit. The orange is gone because the apple ate it and absorbed its powers and colors, because the apple is secretly Megaman. You might claim that Megaman doesn’t eat his foes. However, usually his enemies aren’t fruit, and massive complex robots wouldn’t just disappear upon defeat, even after being fried with high density heat projectiles that would potentially render tiny organic objects into vapour-like particles. That’s basic physics. Megaman must have eaten them. It reminds me of a long forgotten webpage by someone known simply as “The Heretic,” who theorized that Luke Skywalker’s tremendous increase in Jedi powers between Star Wars events is owed to him having eaten Yoda, and that’s why Yoda’s body dissolved as Yoda became dead. Luke exhibits powers even before Yoda’s death, because in fact he ate Obi Wan Kenobi as well. He did this from across a corridor through some means that I neglected to recall but that The Heretic no doubt described in satisfactory detail. I look forward to seeing this on Cracked.com as soon as they find two more Amazing Star Wars Cannibalisms [I] Never Knew Happened or manage to get the one spaced over three ad-laden pages and phrased in a strictly informative tone.
Nuggets are also an Excellent Source of Antioxidants. Do you know what else is?
Candy. Why do we eat anything else? Well actually raisinets are a “natural” source of antioxidants. Like always there are specific legal controls on the use of otherwise nonspecific terminologies the likes of “good,” “great” and “excellent.” As we’ve already observed, the nuggets also meet the minimum requirement for “natural” which can’t be very high. Thankfully nobody can tell you how flashy you may make the graphic announcing your abomination’s bond with nature.
Raisinets also won an award for being in a room with busts of guys wearing chef hats. I like the idea of one of them laboring over a huge steaming pot with a dinkity little raisin it.
Although some prestiges elude even raisinets. There are “golden” raisins, yellow of color, in the world, but this award is reserved strictly for results that taste like jewelry. The only way to achieve that is to wear raisinets as jewelry, and then to hope they will have the courtesy to continue tasting like themselves. Yes this was a good day to criticize the humor content of other websites that one or more of my favorite internet people find favorable or write for.
and this…! Ah bosh you probably can’t tell at this resolution. Let me see if I can get a more clear picture.
This I absolutely cannot condone. I shall say no more on the topic today.
Or Disgracy’s Angstgiving Malaise, if you prefer, but why would you?
Do you remember when I used to write stuff? Well I have forgotten and that is why there have been so many of these lately.
It was meant to be a response to that because I talk to myself. However, I rarely listen, so it was rather a bit over a year before it could be shown. Ordinarily, people would have stopped caring by then, but fortunately nobody cared to begin with. The only thing I got right was the bland layout.
It may strike you as decadent for one character to hog the rope belt AND the single suspender. Are you going to put up with that?
Through no deliberate thought by me the central figure (“dope”) is the most dignified looking idiot here through not having made any botched attempt to appear dignified.
And now that I have made this, what do I do with it? It has no purpose. There is no reason I should have spent so long on it. I lack even the motivation to update this page’s banner twits. The secret to online fame is to acknowledge and pay reverent homage to stuff that already exists, but that doesn’t work if it’s your own stuff, unless you referenced other stuff prior to referencing your own, and chances are people will be annoyed that you didn’t just reference the stuff you usually reference.
I didn’t say so in the past but generally these things conceal links to larger, more clear versions of themselves. I don’t actually believe that this conveys any information here on the page. I don’t believe the full size conveys much more, but it’s slightly more and that’s the amount I intend.
Most of the development for the background occurred before I had merged it with the characters, because at the image size of 20000×7000 pixels it was irritating having to deal with constant delays while I added large amounts of blurry computer paint (the fourth row is just a temporary mock-up that I have saved for some reason). Having multiple layers, then, made the situation totally unbearable. Then at some point I realized nobody would notice or care if I reduced everything to 10000×3500 and after I did, it became feasible to merge them and development escalated, now (then) that I could see where things were in relationship to each other better. The result was still an unsightly, muddy mess, but and I’ll think up a justification later.
This was removed from the space where the yellow creature eventually was placed because the character is sort of boring, and I thought it worth incorporating alternate modes of improper dress.
This was earlier removed from the same position not for looking too stupid, but I imagined this thing would not be pleased that others challenged its bow tie supremacy and would refuse to stand with them. At that point I had considered having the center dope also wearing a bow tie, which further complicated matters. I drew a new one into the background because I forgot I had made one already.
The creature elpse is mildly allergic to stripes, and so appears to merely be sneezing, rather than protesting. In fact this sneeze would have seemed to be directed away from the dope out of courtesy, which I cannot allow.
This pose was too interesting.
Of course I’m kidding. Most of these characters need to be in trash AND jail.
This was my de-fac-to vague personal identification object at some shindig recently, as my previous assortment of them curiously eluded my grasp, possibly out of fear of sharing display space with this artifact.
I’d like to tell you that the curious red lump near its mouth was a result of my walking around with a painting in a sensitive medium on a series of moderately rainy days, so sure, let’s pretend that’s what it is.