I can’t stair it any longer
another picture with stairs, but unlike sacre coward not based on a photograph (if you can tell).
It was initially meant to be a landscape, of a sort, but I drew it so slowly that some discourteous imps moved in and built a city, unfortunately. Yet later some of them boarded the stairs and hopefully will get what they deserve.
I am still not sure if the bird is nearer to the viewer or simply really large in comparison to the scale of its surroundings. Thankfully on my computer screen it is still too small to be a significant threat.
Where no meep has pogone before
And why SHOULD anyone have pogone here? This looks like a stupid place.
appropriately enough, assuming it was here before, by now pog is gone.
Anyone should know better than to assume they missed anything here! Except pog, so I shall not offer criticism.
Sacre Coward
A view from some stairs leading toward Sacre Couer, an old church on a hill in Paris. Paris has a great number of old churches and monuments and art museums that want to be treated like churches, and I went to a bunch, and was told how great they were, and isn’t this inspiring and aren’t you lucky to be here. In recognition of that I drew the street instead.
As for the imp near the lower edge, you cannot claim that this thing does not deserve to have something bad happen to it. I shall lay out the facts:
It is meeply
it is yellow
it has really stupid looking ears
it has no toes, just feet
it also has no nose.
We cannot just ALLOW that. You can be certain it had a great big smile just moments before it realized that bowling ball was coming. It was probably stomping up the stairs like it owned the place (it does not own the place). If nothing else, my drawing attention to this matter justifies the upload. That creature should really have known better than to be meeply in a place like that.
Scattered T-Storms
The weather always gets strange this time of year. I hear that it bears some similarity to Umby Ridge but I cannot figure out what.
casualties:
Pointless lizard thing. Even with my pointless lizard history this stands out as especially lacking in purpose. It finally flew away when the blimp showed up, which is not to say there is no reason to throw lightning bolts at it.
Stereotyped pirate being hit by a tea bag where an eye patch might go. Initial testing revealed that I had to explain what this was and that I could not find a concise way of doing so.
Regular creepy lipton tea figure
Later made slightly more creaturely to seem less out of place to people who do not recognize the figure, or in general, and also be possibly more creepy.
intially these two were beside each other. I considered trying to make one of the buildings a ship or some sort of nautical-themed inn but then that seemed like it would distract from the tea focus.
top hat snake observing a yellow snake
pink unbothered bird of unspecified type in the position that the yellow snake was moved to. I also need to explain the snake’s significance, but it is easier than explaining the pirate, and my pictures often have dumb snakes in them anyway so this one does not necessarily need to have significance.
Panicked noseless meep running from a spoon. Eventually I added a pathetic mouse that did not quite succeed in running from a spoon, but did succeed in having a nose.
Blimp that I could not figure out how to make relevant. I lately considered that it could have an advertisement for coffee on it and be attracting several lightning bolts, but now the area is too cramped. Unlikes these website entries, I cannot just keep adding in junk forever. Which seems good, but unfortunately I still try. Gosh I hope that if I change my mind and go implement that idea I just mentioned I do not forget to remove this part about how I was not going to do it.
Why does food need to be challenging? And what dork asks this question? Who is so devoted to being trendy by doing unpleasant things to themselves that they seek out ones that aren’t even trendy yet?
I beat the cinnamon and ice bucket challenges at the same time by combining them, swallowing a spoonful of ice water in under a minute.
Kidding, kidding. I beat the cinnamon and ice bucket challenges by not doing something stupid for the amusement of hyperbolic childish misanthropes. These are what happen if you combine America’s Funniest Home Videos and the film Groundhog Day.
You could say America’s Funniest Home Videos already had a Groundhog Day aspect, but they sure found a lot of different ways to hit people in the crotchal zone. Ice buckets have a very limited range.
As the great sage Papa Bear once remarked: it’s not supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to be food! Where’s my sweetsie cola?! I put forth that it is not supposed to be challenging, either. If you find food challenging, it might not be cooked properly. Or it might be broccoli or squash. Nobody wants to watch the broccoli challenge. Maybe if you call it Doritos Presents the Jeep Toyota Summer Squash Concert Series Pepsi.
i imagine some dumb meep filling a bucket with water, freezing it, and then just dropping the bucket on someone. That probably would have been a better picture than this one, which is possible to interpret as me “accepting” the “challenge” in a “funny” way when I think it is a very dopey thing. I should have shown a dope doing it.
“but it’s for CHAIRity!” Much like the hop-a-thon, I do not see how the action causes money to materialize so I will not do it. I thought I mentioned the hopathon before, apparently I did not. I did mention the coerced saving of yogurt lids, but the principle is the same. Somebody who has a set amount of money to donate will REFUSE to donate it if I do not perform some totally unrelated, arbitrary act.
I wrote about the hopathon in relation to some “sponsored” video game sessions, and I apparently thought it was too dumb to mention. I never encountered it outside of the stupid venues where I post drawings on the internet, and imagined it would reflect badly on me to exhibit awareness of it. And thus something dumber came along and forced almost everybody to know about it.
In my first grade I was invited to participate in a hopping competition at the school I attended. To date it is the only real, fair contest I have ever won. Supposedly it was a charitable situation. I did not understand how hopping helped anybody but I knew I could do it. What I did not do was sign up any sponsors. That part did not make sense to me. It still does not, but I at least know the mechanics of it. Apparently I, a 6ish year old child, in addition to hopping, was supposed to thuggishly pester outside parties until they agreed to pay money based on how much I hopped, and then not to me. Had that been explained to me I might have asked why somebody needs me to hop before they will give money to someone else. Is that entertaining to them? To hear that a tiny human hopped many times? Are they to feel enriched and satisfied, and pay in appreciation? There were certainly no spectators. I did it in a hallway outside the principal office. The only others present were inferior hoppers and a suit-wearing man monitoring the hopping. I imagine HE got paid for that. He did not hop.
And imagine if even the people who bothered to get sponsored had not hopped. Would no money have been given? And then whose fault would that have been? The people who failed to hop or the potential donators who refused to do so due to inadequate hoppage? I do not understand why so much roundabout effort is put into guilting people into donating money. I didn’t understand it with yogurt labels that hurt no one (except me when I inadvertently see somebody licking one), and I definitely don’t understand it with momentarily exposing yourself to unseasonably cold water. It does not exhibit “devotion” or “passion” because the pain comes afterward, and is brief. When I lived in New Haven, and turned the heat off at night, and then had a shower in the morning, it was pure horror. That didn’t make me feel like donating money to any foundation, nor did it make the neighbors who watched me do it through the window want to donate. If anything it made me want to hoard more money so I was less worried about using so much heat that the monthly bill was difficult to pay, and maybe get some curtains.
You will probably do more for the cause of world health by not eating this pizza than the fraction of the purchase price that possibly gets donated would. That is NOT what this pizza is for! I say that as somebody who probably ate a hundred or so of these across the years (that was from 2005) when I had a functioning oven. If we go by the model of “donate over someone who did nasty things to themselves for no good reason,” then you may go right ahead, but the consequences always came later.
There is more regularly an event called “the penguin plunge” in which dorks jump into freezing water after taking their clothes off. This is just as stupid and has just as little causal relationship to money appearing as hopping or bucketing, but apart from a single local news filler story per year, nobody tries to make it my problem.
In the end, people are supposed to be impressed by your determination, I suppose. If you just jump in a lake or dump a tiny fraction of a lake on yourself it is over pretty fast. And if, in the case of the video game fans, you just do what you would have done anyway, then it is completely meaningless. The person in my example didn’t even show it all. He insisted that he played video games for two hours while offline. Well gosh so did I. I have probably played video games for thousands of hours throughout my life. And remember all the pizzas that I ate, long before any pink ribbons got involved! That is the kind of philanthropist I am.
I think I felt bad for the guy when I realized his other posts were mostly about the effects of his untreated diabetes, so I did not press him on the topic or save pictures of it. But here is a story of somebody who was “paralyzed” and got dorks to give him $20000 to play video games, before accidentally showing he was not actually paralyzed, and then people stopped paying. My question: why does being paralyzed make you eligible to get $20000 to play video games? And why does not being paralyzed make you immediately ineligible for it? It is a scam either way! The man was not playing them with his mouth, for eat’s sakes. Why would anybody donate money because anyone else sat in place and fiddled around for hours, if the fiddling produced nothing? Imagine if I requested donations for this! Imagine if [email protected] was my paypal address. Wouldn’t I seem like a useless hippie bohemian who gave nothing to society? Be glad you only imagined it!
I suppose on some level all entertainment fields are scams, and I should be glad that production companies and record labels do not have exclusive control over collecting money for the distribution of wretched garbage. But this still comes down to gaining your legitimacy through someone else’s product. Somebody else’s gimmick that you inherited or adopted. And from what I have personally witnessed (on the topic of video games), the sight is not all that spectacular. People wear trashy clothes (and you know because the person is recorded next to the game output, for some reason), and they grunt and breath a lot, and are not necessarily very good at the video games, and the deal is shown unedited. I am just supposed to be in awe of them as people, even though they are strictly regular at best. If I am going to observe a stranger poke about with what we should not deny are toys, they had better be gosh darn beebly good at it or uniquely entertaining in the way they do it. And at that point I could probably take it for about 20 minutes at most.
I remember, a few years ago, when I found a video series called “battle of olympus blind run.” I thought, from the title, it meant a blind person was playing the video game called Battle of Olympus, trying to get through it on sound cues and memory alone. That might justify it happening in 32 ten minute installments, and the footage showing the character falling into pits and starting over constantly. And still probably not been too much fun to look at. But no, it was less than that: just some dork who had never played the game before who thought his imprint was so precious that all five hours of it needed to be documented and preserved. And again totally unedited and unrehearsed, despite it not being streamed live. At least when something is live you can potentially interact with the dork you are allowing to waste your living.
I had a HUGE problem with “let’s play video games and FAIL,” but at least those ended fairly briefly, with the no-effort glory-seeking twit giving up in shame. I may even have criticized it for that, so let me clarify: You don’t need to give up at the game, but you don’t need to film your hours and hours of successive failures, either.
or see it like that.
I am sad to report that this very punchable lizard has rather a history of transforming into stupid things for no reason and then complaining about it to ME, like it is my fault or responsibility. Naturally, it does not learn from its mistakes.
I take special issue with this default position. Very proud! Hands on hips like it thinks it has the answers, and a condescending smile directed at those it thinks have less answers than it. it really thinks its opinion matters to people! I see it in that pose all the time.
It does not learn from its mistakes. It will continue transforming into a duck, looking sad (in my direction), then being abruptly happy again when it recovers,
and resume the proud satisfied pose that implicated it to begin with.
How is being a duck worse than what it already was, anyway? It is just PROUD to be a dumb smiling lizard because that is what it always was and it thinks attributes that it had no part in acquiring are its greatest accomplishment. What a scumbag! A pity it never considers transforming into a smart and reasonable lizard.
I propose immediate harsh sanctions against the nation of lope. Muffin and pumpkin imports are to be cut off entirely as of this announcement. I am not at this juncture advocating putting boots on the ground as this reptileprobate would probably just comment on what splendid boots they were, unconcerned that its stupid feet prevent it from wearing boots. Perhaps its feet will devolve into digitless lumps like its hands are in that previous picture. As long as it can smile and be pathetic I do not see why I should raise my expectations of it.
Imagine if you were at the top of this structure here and you saw those dumb smiling meeps coming toward you constantly. You would agree they deserve this.
Especially that yellow one. That thing really is too dumb to live. Why? It is not a dope. It is not biologically required to be that stupid. There is no excuse for it existing. History is shown that the worst that will happen is that it will become concerned or mildly sad by falling, but probably abruptly resume smiling as soon as it is able.
Unbeknown to all but the most studied bande-dessinee scholars, Hergé had several unfinished stories in progress at the time of his death. This one is somewhat lesser-known than its similarly-titled companion.
I explained my own joke there because apparently there is very little cross-over in public awareness of an incomplete Belgian comic book published 50 years after the series’ hey-day and 1980s American puppet-based situation comedies. Who could have guessed? I usually make sure to pick only the most recent, popular topics for mashups, like screaming scruffbags + everything to maximize my potential audience.
I wanted to use a painting that people would recognize that would look extra stupid to have ALF in it, but which was not Mona Lisehhh. I have little doubt there was some ALF-related promotional material at some point which used that one. Tintin has already had a seen-from-behind run-in with it, anyhow. Death of Marat may have been a bad choice, though, since the painting is recognizable through its use of shadow, which Tintin books are not!
Also: in the final completed story, Airjay changed the sort of trousers that Tintin wears from a strikingly outdated style
to another that is presently strikingly outdated but less recognizable, and seemed looking to continue this trend in the book after it. I thought I should be consistent with that based on the premise that the thing I made up was from the same period, but with just the upper portion visible and from the back it looks odd. I point this out because AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGG I’VE BEEN TINNED!
I subsequently felt bad about leaving that elpse out in the thunderstorm in such an alarmed state that it transformed into an armadillo.
Thus to ease the situation, without so much thought that I risked another disaster, I drew a fresh elpse. But something just out of view seems to be upsetting elpse. Is it you? What are you doing? Whatever it is, please cut that out! I think elpse has had a difficult day.
I draw in my sketch-book a great quantity of dumb beasts and imps just loafing about, since I ran out of ideas years ago. Here are two of them that do not belong together placed as if they do. You may freely make up your own story because I probably will not!
Oh what’s that? No time to stop. I have to transport this stupid meeply animal in its personal private basket. All it probably does is meep! It probably meeps all day every day. And I have little doubt that it is EXTREMELY stupid.
This reminds me of a drawing I made long ago showing a full sized person holding a tiny camel in one hand while saying “the world’s smallest camel!” The camel said “Yoderhunt.” That is just the noise that camel makes. The meeply creature the camel was being displayed to exclaimed “my name is Yoderhunt!” Not impressed that the camel is the smallest in the world, only that it could say yoderhunt. It has nothing to do with the picture I showed today but I hope you will agree that I was reminded of it regardless, and that it is too dumb to draw twice or spend the whole day scouring my various sketchbooks in search of.
I already took a picture of THIS, though. When I searched my hard drive for reproduced camel drawings out of sketchbooks I found no others. It is almost stupider! Why does it exist? Why did I make certain to digitally preserve this? What did I think I would use this for? I will never put this anywhere!
It is possible you have seen this picture before, but I have lately typed a heap beneath it.
A series.
I had some difficulty putting this on to stupid art sites. There are no smart art sites. Deviantart, one of the stupidest, with a maximum preview size of 150×150 pixels, displays it like this before it is clicked on:
Most people will NOT click on something that looks like that. Additionally, most people will not click something that I put up, and those two facts work toward a common goal.
The preview image is generated automatically by reducing the image enough that its longer dimension (vertical or horizontal) is 150 pixels long. For an image whose proportions overwhelmingly favor one (vertical in this case) the reduced edition is totally unintelligible.
A custom thumbnail option would be nice. I would make my own preview that showed much of the first section, with a bit of text to indicate that there were four more images beneath it. I believe there used to be such an option. What happened to it?
People would fill their gallery completely with obnoxious icons that gave no information and only said “full view only!” because they were more obsessed with controlling people and increasing their meaningless “page view” total than actually helping people look at their art, because scumbags always win. Instead of visitors having enough information to decide if they should look or not look, they were forced to look just to find out what the ding dang thing was, if they dared to care. In this case, where the privilege was revoked, they won by making other people lose. I prefer to make fictional people lose. I included “death by ice” in this example but somebody else might call it “Frapbi’s frozen frustration” just to ensure it was as unenticing as possible. It also assumes that you know who frapbi is (frapbi is a loser).
These days most minimally informative thumbnail enthusiasts fixate on a face from within the image, giving a viewer a scrap of context but still not enough to know anything apart from “yes this image includes a being with a head.” This is considered an improvement, for some reason, by many people, but I do find it much more helpful. I am not fond of faces out of context. I do not always like faces in context. I may prefer context to faces. If I follow one person and see one new face a day, alright, I can look at that. If I get five hundred faces I do not have time to personally investigate the agoraphobic potential of each. And sometimes the “full” version would just be the face again but bigger! Rage!
Shut your mouthstache, you torsoless hatlump!
One especially gorkly individual used the exact same “full view!” dead-eyed, spider-lashed varmint icon on every picture regardless of what it contained. I presume. I never dared to check what they were hiding. Perhaps it was worse.
Additionally, I had made that recreation there based on my memory of the real one, but with that memory I gradually recalled that long ago I had saved a collection of utterly nonthreatening animal/anime people off of deviantart or worse drawn trying to be edgy or abusive toward their viewers –that is how you build an audience, after ehhh– and that the creature in question was featured therein, and that I should take the opportunity to make my facsimile horribler. The one I drew first looks like rather a reasonable chap by comparison. Although in the interest of fairness I should disclose that it was addressing a remark at “faggots” and not exhibiting a central digit, and that specific the full view demand icon was doing neither of those things, although it might as well have been.
I should make a public exhibition of my collection, although I reckon that some of these pictures are more than ten years old and it is mildly possible the artists realize what silly behavior that is by now. Alternatively, they could be now far worse and would interpret my exhibition as “art theft” and evidence that I wish I had the capacity to be so middle-fingery myself. This would then inspire them to draw more pictures of cartoon characters being angry at all real people, necessitating that I add them to my collection and I do not necessarily have time to make that a full time task.
Also, at some point my awareness of it makes me look bad. I should really leave that without further comment, but
The only thing harder core than drawing/paying someone else to draw an animal shaped like a human adult meant to represent you shoving a middle finger at the viewer is if this character is wearing a plastic disposable diaper and no trousers over the diaper. Folks fantasize about this. “oh MAN I WISH i could take off my pants, put on a diaper and then go around picking fights with people.” They find some acceptance for their personal habits and eventually it becomes a way of life intent on waging war with other ways of life. Coexisting peacefully is not an option. Diaperus iacta est.
Based on a ew story.
This began as an attempt to recreate what I saw when I visited the Loovruh museum in Paris, which was a very odd sight: dorks and morons alike crowding into a huge room full of huge paintings to fixate on one that is very tiny, and make terrible blurry reproductions of the most reproduced and easy-to-acquire-perfect-reproductions-of art works perhaps in history. Somehow it was not odd enough, and things went strange as I was adding details.
So I have fixated on irrelevance to such a degree that it subdues and consumes the original point of what I was doing through overthinking and overworking. It took three times as long as it should have and means nothing, and still looks incomplete enough that I might dump a few more hours into it. Good to know I still got it!
I mean to say that I still have it.
An updehhh from July 4:
In the event you were curious how a decent idea becomes clownish rubbish, look there to see the odd path this took to be “finished!”
One of the figures in the sketch I drew inadvertently kind of looked like Tintin and that was somehow enough to ruin it all. What surprises me now is that I reversed the direction of the battleaxe on the inadvertent tintin figure prior to removing the axe entirely, and that removing it was one of the last things I did.
Also, if you can identity the characters I started to draw in the seventh and eighth slides then you win a schnibble because after momentary reflection I thought no one would be able to.
I get ideas when I go for walks. I think “maybe I could execute a backflip right here” in the street, and then I think that I will probably fail, and so badly that it kills me, and then people will wonder why there was suddenly a dead person in the road. Perhaps investigators could determine that I had fallen, but would they be able to figure out that I had tried to jump in a stupid way first? By the angle of damage and apparent velocity of the impact? Or would it just be “ruled an accident?” Why am I considering so far beyond my inevitable foolish death? I would hate the populace to think I had become dead for no reason. I was TRYING to DO something specific! I hate to be misunderstood, especially when I am dead.
This comic will run on your Amstrad system.
Somebody wanted a scene at a specifically named bar with a few specific items in it, in addition to “[my] characters.” But why? I can only presume this requester works for a competing institution, which these reprobates are absolutely not welcome at.