This is SMART living because you would be a FOOL to pass up a chance to own a GOLD pumpkin
These must be the only three people who could beat him up. The emasculated quivering coward begging for quarter that only WE knew. Or maybe they are just more familiar with the beardless version shown here, which admittedly I am not.
He looks like he is fed up with people prank calling his office and asking for Matt Damon
Before this goes any further i need you to understand that vegetables most certainly canNOT beans.
Not in AMERICA, anyway. go to europe if you intend to engage in that sort of hedonistic rubbish.
You know what, go wherever you want, just go away from me.
the best thing about a world wide pandemic isn’t political parties making ignoring safety precautions a left or right-wing issue, it is definitely there being no clear end to the thing so that corporations have plenty of time to mass-produce smirky merchandise that just accept pandemic life is a given and here to stay. I expect these are produced by workers only kept about six inches apart.
i realize this is the future and I am not supposed to laugh at people with impairments anymore but I am going to laugh at Mighty Sight anyway. oh haha.
I just indicated it is improper to laugh at impairments, but that doesn’t mean you should be PROUD of not having ears. And it seems shortsighted, though mercifully not eyeless, as this creature doesn’t have limbs either!
but I am idding of course; seen from the front this whatever-this-is actually says “FEARLESS,” which makes even less sense since lacking ears, arms and your entire lower body is a valid plight to fear. If I assume this is just meant to be representative of the full-bodied character in its original feature Frozen film context it still doesn’t make sense, as much of the plot of the film is a consequence of this character being totally afraid. First of turning people into ice, and then being afraid of having turned everything else into ice instead, and then the writers were afraid of making this insanely marketable character into an actual villain, and so rolled some dice to arbitrarily assign “villain” to another character with almost no development 75% of the way through the film, even though he never created a giant evil snow monster out of nothing and tried to kill his own sister with it, or worse, another smaller snow monster that is voiced by patron saint of shrill mediocrity Josh Gad thereby transforming him into an inescapable, insufferable media presence after this film grossed over a billion dollars, and then pre-emptively ruining the first movie Rick Moranis agreed to appear in after almost 25 years grape grimpity.
hey look it’s Terry Bradshaw, that guy from commercials, bad talk shows and SHINGLES. Apparently he also played the American footed ball a long time ago, but is still evidently the most recent marketable nfl player without any major criminal convictions who hasn’t been killed by injuries the league insisted weren’t a big deal or their responsibility whenever the prior statement is proven false. Likewise he probably doesn’t eat chicken nuggets, definitely never did at such a time that he was “prep[aring] for the win,” and appropriate enough isn’t eating any in this picture, but he doesn’t mind if you do! And he doesn’t mind if you don’t since he already got paid.
He never puts any Red Man Chewin Dabacca in his mouth either. Red Man Chewin Dabacca, it’s like taking a big bite of an indigenous person and then spitting it out.
11-16-2020 these have perhaps been among the most surreal three days of my life, and yesterday was definitely the most tiring. but it continues. “because of covid” can be used to justify pretty much any arbitrary delay or disposal of function
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11-15-2020 a lot more of that than i expected! no a proper website piece is not popular. also this house is freezing. the new house shouldn’t be freezing. also today is my mother’s birthday and I have not done anything about that either! and I actually meant to! this is not a good house for doing what I mean to do!
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11-14-2020 i will be probably assisting in loading a truck to finally commence really moving out of this house, after more than six years after the first attempt to sell it. I like to imagine I will feel more in control of my existence once all that is done with, and will do something more useful with it, maybe even with this!
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Why isn’t the LAMEstream media reporting this?
or maybe he meant a parking lot.
no, seriously? he won days ago, dorks. I believe it is in fact quite common for votes to not all be counted for days, but to have so many states without a clear majority which the trailing party cannot mathematically overcome is uncommon, yet still not unprecedented. Media being afraid to project a winner, that is new. Still it was undeniable by yesterday except to career-denialists. As somebody who lives most of my life in denial, I can recognize that!
I don’t see a point to gloating about Biden prevailing since Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell got re-elected clean, so them and their ilks can still obstruct progress like always, and Trump is still the president until January 20. Biden isn’t anyone’s first choice, probably not even his, and anyone with high expectations will likely be disappointed. Plus the covid is still out for blood, and all the people who weren’t helping before will continue not helping.
Election day eve update: Joe Biden is still not cool. And less new than ever.
I can believe Biden abused his political position to meddle in a foreign government’s business to get his family money. That’s about the only thing Trump hasn’t abused his position to get, because he spent his entire professional life accumulating wealth through abuse.
I don’t think Biden belongs in this position. I think he was forced upon voters even harder than Hillary Clinton was, long before any campaigns even started. However, I can at least believe some things that he says. I can believe that he wants to improve something, anything.
in 2016 I thought: eh Trump is in, I will see what he does, in this role, and not pre-emptively condemn him and panic over unsubstantiatable rumors. Now I have seen that he dodges responsibility, lies about everything, insults everyone, same as before, and almost worse, is applauded for that. If he has real plans for things that matter, I can’t tell.
the Obama administration before that, while superficially an improvement over its predecessors, failed to end numerous bad Bush-era policies, greatly increased the numbers of drones in combat, couldn’t control the police, installed an incomplete health care system…Trump hasn’t really changed much, if any of that, for the better.
Biden MIGHT be different from Obama, and not necessarily worse. But Trump will be the same as Trump. Nothing he has ever done makes me think he means at all well in his screw ups. So based on that I can prefer one over the other. That is about as much optimism as I can manage! I still wouldn’t vote for either of them, but I will vote for somebody.
gosh the connecticut ballot is worse than I thought this year.
11-2-2020 522pm: i make political posts regularly on the twitter website and it never gets me anywhere, since while I have nothing pleasant to say about Trump I can’t bring myself to praise Biden, either, and nobody cares if you have nuanced thoughts or doubts. and anyway the GARBAGE is so constant I don’t have time to make proper website posts about it, which is thus probably for the best!
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the comic strip pages that “will” comprise “book 4” have been touched up, re-lettered and reordered to mostly an extent that I feel is adequate. I say mostly because I decided actually getting them sorted out and in order and on the website and pushing down the previous utterly un-art-related website entry but that might appear to a casual observer as if I was taking credit for the plumbing company marketing I was actually complaining about was more important than correcting every single ancient graphical blemish that I just today realized I hadn’t fixed yet.
Also there are now thirty pages! It still seems like too few but it is more than there were.
as previously noted, there are two new pages, meant to come after what had previously been 62 and is now 49, but not immediately after, thus it being pushed back 13 spaces. There is also a new half page, partially on what is now 56 and what is now 60 but only of the existing very crowded content being spaced out more, and then the section ends a half-page later than it previously did, to rest on an actual revelation and not the robot idea that I ultimately did nothing with, still working out to end at the end of a page due to the restructuring I already mentioned!
consequently the next section starts a half page later than it previously did, but I filled the half page in a way that I initially hoped would aid clarity and presentation but may not have accomplished that, but since nothing was removed to make room for it, it does not necessarily make a great deal less sense than before.
I was yesterday made aware of this via a blurry phonetograph of truck spotted on the highway:
the 1990s deviantart-anime-webcomic mister t logo and slogan were bad enough, but the doofus narrator actually says “we pity the stool” in what I assume is a mr.t impression voice at the end of this terrible video. As a profoundly white being myself I, personally, don’t care if a white guy wants to try and impersonate a black guy’s voice if he happens to be good at it, but this one is very bad at it.
what is with this drawing? Am I supposed to want this guy to come to my house and beat up my pipes? And risk getting his jewelry dirty?
I am sure the company has a lawyer that assured everyone involved, first of all, that “#1 plumber in connecticut” is an ambiguous enough set of words to not need to strictly be proven, and also that “a-team” is a generic phrase uncopyrighted with regard to plumbing, and that as long as the cartoon is vague and is never explicitly identified as being a representation of Lawrence Tureaud akadaka “Mr. T” this is totally legal and acceptable. It is still stupid and embarrassing and not sure if it is targeting 50-70 year olds who would actually have watched the a-team and own homes now or 30-40 year olds who knew Mr. T as a proto-meme (in my case twenty years ago literally drawn over a proto-man) and were aware that he said “i pity the fool” about something on some occasion but probably rely on a landlord or equivalent entity to deal with broken home infrastructure, but in neither instance would he be associated with quality leak-fixing services.
And as far as I can tell, T’s character B A Baracus never wore gold chains on The A Team nor vowed to pity fools, but that doesn’t matter; the point is that I don’t know what the point is.
the website makes absolutely no mention of the logo, Mr.T or anything to do with the a-team television program (nor thankfully the insufferable yet equally unrelated to the tv show or plumbing ed sheeran song), but does appear to be promoting that its employees are pushy and looking for silly things to charge you for.
Benjamin Franklin makes much more sense because he was historically about three feet tall and did carry around a wrench almost as big and crawl about in human waste dressed in goofy 18th century government garb and a wig.
i presume this all started when some university dork saw an ad for an “a-1 plumbing” service and then thought
why does a french fry truck need an obnoxious star trek reference –that I only know IS a star trek reference from witnessing so many obnoxious references to it– as its name and slogan? the same reason a plumbing company needs a confused Mr. T reference: it doesn’t but the boss said it had to.
it apparently no longer says “resistance is futile” on the webpage or the trucks but the rest of the goony text mess remains. I would assume this guy also made Streptococcus Paiella with A-Team plumbing’s artist if I didn’t remember that it doesn’t exist because I made that page myself as a joke. Clearly I missed the point of life and everything that is a joke to me is a potentially lucrative business. “Jon” talking about himself talks like I did on web pages that I soon after hoped and stopped short of praying would eventually be purged from existence because everybody rightfully hated me for talking like that. I tried to stop being a corny idiot instead of doubling down on it and having the money to buy a truck lying around.
I never ate cinnamon toast crunch as a child or adult nor actively sought memes so perhaps that limited my mind from entering the contentedly mediocre state necessary to lose all shame and shill at everyone I know to get them to finance my grand bland garbage aspirations, and now the living embodiment of that has been US president for almost four years, and people in my own family that I never asked for money voted for him and look forward to doing so again. But I do not request pity; save that for the stool.
a robision for cyanic of Sudo the Caralynx, having been ambushed by dopes in a jungle setting
I have no idea why somebody would pay me to draw their character getting hassled by dopes. If I were a morally upright sort perhaps I would decline but I prefer this to being asked to draw morbid obesity fetish that swears it isn’t a fetish-art or morbid-dullardry fetish animal people wearing jeans pants and drinking coffee. Also since i theoretically “created” dopes I don’t need to look up references to draw them properly, and know that in fact no dope is proper.
ehhhhdit: yes it looks better after today’s alterations but I feel uninclined to replace the video right this moment!
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a fairly annoying video. i under-estimated how noisy it would be, since I had increased the frequency with which they make noises in order to ensure they were making noises at the correct times, and then only recorded in rooms that contained about fifty of the dumb things. particularly the ignoble noise they emit after being defeated is conspicuous here, playing at intervals of 8 to 64 game-time units rather than 256 to 1024, and one of the sounds it can play is louder than I thought it was.
because the sounds themselves were recorded between 2003 and today, in sometimes less than adequate accoustical circumstances, because I couldn’t find the thing that lets me use a microphone with this incredibly shoddily designed combined earphone/microphone port, or it was before I had a microphone at all. I have both now, thank you, good luck.
I will hopefully give them a means to explode when hit with exploding objects since that they lack one here doesn’t seem at all fair.
wurf this took long enough.
two supplemental pages for book 4 of this, showing something that is mildly alluded to later, since I introduced the idea of these dumb blobs so long ago without a plan, thinking a plan might arise, and then it never did and I forgot about them for a while. They are placed as 63 and 64 for now just so they will come after 62 but I want to put 62 earlier.
what is presently page 3-01 i may break into two pages since it is too cluttered for what it shows and it may work as 2-65 instead so the book gets and extra page, and then also i can end on a revelation with actual implications rather than the lurking robot since that ultimately is a non-issue.
Somehow it took me two weeks to draw these pages even though hardly anything is happening. The machine design was frustrating and I worried it looked too simplistic, yet the pages are still hopelessly cluttered. In fact I had a totally different idea for this insert from august 2019 but then COULDN’T FIND IT nor any sort of script describing it when I finally got around to dealing with it a year later, until a few days ago when I was looking for something else. And I couldn’t remember anything ABOUT it, either. In fact I eventually convinced myself I hadn’t made it at all in order to make myself give up looking for it. That it was too long to fit on one page is the SOLE detail that I recalled and that prevented me from totally believing it didn’t exist. I seem to have more anxiety about things not fitting on pages than what they actually are.
What this IS, whatever it is, it does not completely contradict what I did use, so it can be used as a foundation for a similar page later. probably for the best that I didn’t find it, for the book 4 spot, since this openly shows (or would once it was drawn better) kumquat becoming kaklabesk, and also some baser form which i have no recollection of designating as part of the process. since i fussed so much over the way i presented kumquat being kaklabesk in recent “book 6” pages, inserting an earlier page where i show it more blatantly would seem counterintuitive. Which would also be consistent since nothing I do is intuitive but there is still plenty on today’s pages that doesn’t work so don’t be concerned about that.
9-13-2020 addender:
I only added the panera logo yesterday after having to drive a car somewhere and seeing repeated mentions of Panera and I considered that I feel more insulted by panera than mcdonalds; selling junk of a comparable quality and nutrition level but with a pretentious attitude of “this is REAL food for SMART people” and they don’t even have chicken nuggets so it definitely had to go in here, even if it is apparent as a late addition.
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click for needlessly larger image
this is not meant to be: i hate all this stuff and we can’t be friends if you like any of it; i probably hate 75% of this stuff and generally I can only be friends with anyone as a remote exception. It is more about a system that inhuman but ostensibly run by humans constantly pushes forced hype and enthusiasm for brands as if this is organic rather than uncompensated labor for corporations that can afford to pay for it.
I don’t like paid promotion either but that is correctly identified as “advertising.”
admittedly I primarily get nfl rubbed in my business off the internet, but I have had a LOT of nfl rubbed in my business. Although I would not be recognized as a legless naked orange mutant off the internet.
Or put another way, the same thing i have been saying incessantly for 15 years presented in a sadder, more defeated manner. I look forward to feeling inspired to say something else!
Don’t make me put bandai or whoever’s logo in there. please. there isn’t space for it.
I wish I could tell you what their collective problem is but if I ever knew, I do not now remember.
9-4-2020 545pm busy busy busy tired tired oh too tired to say it again
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what, so this should be MY problem? I am tired of having to make all the decisions around here! Every one of those dumb things looks terrible, I shan’t choose.
however I feel about the actual content of the story [a week ago], the unnecessary, corny, 3D ANIMATED face mask from this New York Times piece has greatly improved my day
WHY does it have to be 3d? WHY does it have to be turning? This reminds me of a “choose your character” screen from a mid-1990s arcade game with “great graphics” except instead of a bold and powerful adventurous figure it is a dumb old piece of fabric with straps on it
I can’t stand it, it looks like it has ears. This might as well be nemitz’s head partial turning and smiling at me and whoever else yet never totally looking away. That should be illegal.
also stupid, you can CLICK ON the mask to make it BIGGER! Just in case you saw it and thought “not corny and unnecessary enough at that size, need bigger!” In fact you can even click quite a distance away from it just to make sure maximum maskimum corniness is accessible to people whose motor skills are less than fine.
And this isn’t the Forklogan-Vanpeeblesworth Dispatch, this is the New York Times,
pardon me TIMES, the same acclaimed news source that proclaimed Miss Bianca to be a veritable minx of a mouse, which a book publisher then thought worth putting on a book cover above its title, so they mean business.
Also, this was among numerous books in boxes that I took from my attic to my garage in 2014 trying to clear space, not realizing everything in the garage would become trash by virtue of being in the garage, yet this quote was preserved, while the title was not, when I got to disposing of the books on the same day as the 3d mask came to me so it is only logical to assume there is a deep metaphysical connection. And now it is deep messed-a-physically within a dumpster, beneath surprisingly few dopes.
8-21 1233am yeehaw howdy. if i am not still cleaning stuff in my house on friday I may be able to force in an update that heavily resembles something i put on twitter a week ago.
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a strange drawing from somebody called Clown King:
What the-?!?!! Who let Dopes into the fire station?!?! And just what is that Dope using to put out the flames?!! Gasoline?! Gas-o-LINE?!! You stupid DOPE!!!
to that I respont:
Thank you for drawing these dopes! And curse you for drawing these dopes! Arrrrf do they REALLY think they are helping? Who put those hats on them? Who drove that truck there and positioned that dope to look like it drove the truck? Does it think it did? That one on the ladder, what is it DOING? NOBODY wants to look out a window and see a dumb dope there and obviously that imbecile isn’t going to help anybody smiling in through their windows. I just want to grab the ears on that foreground dope and do something I have not yet determined. I can hardly comprehend that the least awful dope is the one that isn’t doing anything and is simply loitering about being useless. I applaud your courageous and accurate reporting amidst chaos, uncertainty and uncharted punchability.
what was not visible to casual observers and that I elected to disregard:
to be clear this is not ME saying that I love dopes because I absolutely do NOT and if I did I would not admit it even privately. I would take the secret to my grave and nobody would find it because I do not intend to be buried because I think that is silly.
clown king has a character named Michaela Myers who is evidently fond of chopping things with machetes and this seemed like a good cause
this also allowed me to make use of all two of the facial expressions I can draw. I am not totally sure WHERE this is happening because I studied at the Doom Level School of Architectural Design. The important thing is that dopes are not being tolerated.
I lost electricity after the hurricane passed through, if you are curious. A day and a half after, because we procrastinate in my house. The internet cut out earlier since it has places to be.
I of course blame nemitz, who knew I wasn’t done talking about dunkin donuts/dopes cereal, something mit evidently holds as sacred, and nemitz knew because of what a stupid thing to know that is.
I have to walk a few blocks to get this crummy phone wifi and no way to charge this thing or get data off my computer so this will be that for now. I don’t know why people think they need to tell me to ‘be safe;’ do I go wondering to odd places after midnight even when people aren’t extra on edge and sometimes get accosted by the police just for being outside looking weird or something?
While it is a nice change to be able to go outside at night without every other house blasting bright white light pollution 29 hours a day all the loud generators owned by more people than I guessed running is less than peaceful and easy to mistake for the sound of utility trucks that aren’t coming.
Meanwhile here is a picture of the world’s worst character, Shoney Bear of the southern us restaurant chain Shoney’s that my cousin Patrick sent to me back in December because I must have expressed relief at my belief that the character was no longer used, because after I copied and deleted all my own pictures off the dumb phone so I could take more since I no longer have a real camera that sort of thing is all that remains and now I know one more folder that I must periodically clear out.
Also behold wordpress’s built in image show-er, the reason why I have to manually and tediously manage all my website pictures via old fashioned ftp.
once up on top of a time i sketched out a dope and inadvertently overshaded it so that it appeared quite dark. It inspired me to opine
That dark dope is so stupid, it doesn’t even realize how evil it is. It doesn’t know the horrible, frightful powers of destruction it has. All it knows how to do is regular dope stuff: stomping around smiling at people. It doesn’t know that it can strangle people from a distance just by grasping at the air. It doesn’t know. It has no idea. The forces of darkness were wasted on it.
This is not that dope. This is a rough approximation of it made from my memory of the dark dope. If I produced a digital copy of that dope at that time it is not known, but possibly I feared for my safety.
well forget that dope. A few years ago I found two of these reusable shopping bags in a closet within my domicile. I liked the idea of going to new stop and shop with a bag from another era covered in pictures of products that aren’t made anymore and that are but have less ridiculous packaging. I think I had one successful trip before the degraded plastic started to fall apart, so I decided to store unused picture frames in them instead while they continued to shed and I have been gradually removing pieces of them from my chambers ever since then. I had occasion to think of it yesterday as I removed some of the last of those pieces and the closet I found them in also was being cleared of rubbish entirely. I might never have seen the bags if not for my proactive action; I doubt anyone else would realize what a treasure these were. As I noted, they are adorned with photographs of products that Stop and Shop management suggests you might purchase to put in it, such as
Dunkin Donuts cereal!
despite the picture on the box indicating that Fred the baker shrinks down to smaller than the bowl to make what are, to him, full-sized doughnuts for the cereal, this advertisement depicts him at full large size hand-making the miniature doughnuts using a tiny little rolling pin and doughnut-shape cutter, which I am sure is much more factually accurate.
As I was thinking of Dunkin Donuts Cereal, particularly I thought of that corny nostril-clenching announcer beginning a statement by saying “chocolate cheeriosDunkin Donuts Cereal,” and especially that opening, enthusiastic “DUNK!” In my mind and apparently out from my mouth I heard it again and again, dunk dunk-dunk dunk dunk DUNK-in donuts cereal. Except eventually it somehow turned into dunkin dopes cereal.
DUNKIN DOPES CEREAL??!?!?!?
I reFUSE to eat dunkin dopes cereal. I refuse to even NOT eat it and simply coexist with it. In fact that may be worse. Unless you are “dunkin” those dopes into acid i see no point. i am sick of dumb cereals like raisin brain, mustid dope bran and now dunkin dopes. there is _N O_ excuse for this.
these people have no clue how many dumpsters dunkin dopes cereal can get tossed into. as far as *I* am concerned it can be nunkin NOPES cereal.
it makes me angry, that guy sounds so PLEASED when he says “dunkin dopes cereal.” and he didn’t even really say that! i only imagined he did! how do dopes have this kind of power? is this another scheme by the dope of darkness? only a dope would be dumb enough to want itself to get dunked and only the dope of darkness is mighty enough to make that happen. can you IMAGINE working at the Ralston-Purina dog and child food company and having to produce dunkin dopes cereal not because anyone will by it but simply because the most frightful and unstoppable dope in the nether-realm MADE you do it? And then you’ll have stacks and stacks of this dumb dope-flavored GARBAGE that nobody wants and that nobody will or SHOULD EVER want, because it is dumb and dope flavored.
It bothers me that the dope of light is TOO STUPID to destroy the dope of darkness, even with this news brought to light, its own element. If you placed those two in each other’s company all they would do is smile at each other, which is ALSO bad. Truly unacceptable. I need to take a nap, being awake now is insufferable.