I’m through being taken advantage of!

Wait does this mean I’m not, then? That’s not even funny. I have the saddest April fool pranks.

Second-saddest then I guess. No eye [‘d be] MAD if I was one of the people who pays money to use the deviant art site and this was the best they could come up with. As a freeloader I am just disappointed.

Also sad is that I somehow got six paragraphs out of this topic. They are hiding from me at the moment. That is their prank. I created them and thusser they learned prankcraft from me and thus they aren’t very inventive at it.

Would you believe it, hope is still coming. When shall it arrive? And then where is it going? I worry about who gets hope next. This is a most worrisome gang of hope.

The creature wearing a track suit is sort of awkward, but the race occurs in August which is a time to be awkward while wearing a track suit.

I think this far superior to the picture I made last year, as far as it not being boring goes. However, it is terrible in the aspect that so many of these idiots are cheating and also that they are idiots.

I would like to put some green in here, but I am told this is the ideal amount of colors for shirt-printing. However, this is the internet and not a shirt. That explains why I had such trouble ironing it (That joke isn’t funny unless you say it in a Groucho Marx voice (and sometimes not even then)).

For the birth-day of the person whose fault it was, I updated this image. I hope you do not mind seeing it again, in the event you have seen it before. The idea is to make her sick of seeing it.
To offset the new addition character being better drawn than the rest, I gave it messed up proportions and put it in a position that unbalances the composition.

Did I have anything else to talk about today? Yes. But thankfully including that here would mess with my intent to have the “unsightly” post category be exclusively devoted to pictures I made so you are safe for the moment. Which I do not say to suggest I think I am the only person capable of creating unsightly imagery nor that these are the only unsightly images I have created. This is strictly a safety measure.

On the subject of Don K. Kong…

Guess what happens next:
A: D. Kong grabs Pauline and climbs to the next stage, like in the real game
B: The ad loops over from the beginning
3: Mario installs some pipes so that the building can be finished since he’s supposed to be a plumber or something, right?
IV: I actually click the ad

The correct answer is W:

Donkey kong jumps in the air, spins 180 degrees and FALLS for NO REASON. Pauline continues to call for help. Kong remains emotionless despite the massive brain trauma certain to occur once he lands. I wouldn’t even mind this so much if Kong fell while upright or adopted an expression that acknowledged how horrible it is to suddenly be falling and rotated for NO REASON.

The vertical version is even worse because the graphic dork put as much effort into formatting the layout as you’d expect, so you don’t even see Mario reach his destination, and thus there’s even less than no reason. He scampers beyond the image boundary and a few seconds later kong falls for ever no-er reason than before! The amount of reason that there is cannot exist in physical space and requires hypothetical mathematics to express.

The proper D. Kong DOES inexplicably fall on his head, but only after the platform he’s standing on collapses and in any event we get to see that he acts surprised when this happens. I’d like to imagine that the kong in the ad jumped off deliberately, and he’s diving into a pool of pudding just below the image edge that was prepared specifically for such an occasion, but that possibility only occurred to me now and I don’t presume that’s what the ad designer had in mind.

This sort of thing has always bothered me. Like when

Roger Rabbit in the NES game gets stolen by an object meant to resemble a bird and then the detective guy just DROPS DEAD because he failed in whatever his task was.

The filename of the picture I started this with is kongarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.png I wondered why I insisted on putting an H at the end, the old Garfield way of spelling arrrgh, which then reminded me of how the Roger Rabbit game reminded me of a specific garfield cartoon.

I was TERRIFIED of this. I could not look at this page. I had no friends so I would re-read those little books all the time, memorized which strips came before this one and I’d worry when I saw them, not sure just how close I was. I would have to only look at the left side of the page and if I saw that clock oh oh oh! (It’s magic)

Oh, here’s the problem. The Roger Rabbit game was developed by the Battletoads people before they hired the person who could draw nice. I talk a mean trash about Battle Toads but it is one of very few Rare games I’ve seen that I consider to have any legitimate aesthetic appeal. This includes the Battle Toad sequels and Kong Country and actually I haven’t seen most of their games. But

the battletoads, featuring the most superfluous life bar since Rolling Thunder.

And SPEAKING of stuff happening for no reason

MAME DEMANDS TRIBUTE. I hadn’t used it in a while so it decided that I needed to pay it in new roms for old games that used to work.

Also, in trying to get pictures of the rabbit kidnapping; I didn’t realize the bird only starts chasing you down after a few minutes, so I had to also be reminded that there is an 8-bit police siren (that’s a .wav, watch out) that sounds anytime you’re outside of a building scene for longer than a few seconds, after which some cartoon rats appear and make you lose.

This is scary. If the rats just appeared it wouldn’t be so bad, but the noise announcing their presence speaks to my psychological errors. I have a deep fear of being arrested for a crime I committed accidentally or without realizing was a crime.

Such as standing really close to the highway. (although I was merely searched and escorted back to the road this time) Oops, you were in the wrong place! You have to go to jail forever.

Which I meant to imply was a bad thing, even if this is a poor example.

I also recall being scared of certain graphics and musical cues in the Roger Rabbit game. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of my disorders had their roots somewhere in there. Hidden timers, mystery crimes, terrifying noises, unexplainable voodoo deaths. It is an astounding feat to upset me in so many ways without any mirrored letters, vanish deaths or horizontally moving bosses that look at the player rather than their target. It doesn’t have a life bar either, which I mentioned earlier and have also decided are kind of creepy. Yes, and I saw the movie once when I was six or so years old and have no recollection as to how anything in the game relates to that. It seems possible that up to 13% of it could make sense in context.

Which is pretty good for the 1980s.

Or ever.

I enjoy rain and misty voids. I’m not certain the protagonist here necessarily shares my view, for it seems to have brought an umbrella.

My favorite part about using photoshop is that it doesn’t ask you what the eep you’re thinking when you accidentally initiate the “revert” command. It has enough respect for me to know I would never do something so silly.

I am trying to upload “complete” pictures here again, and in fancy individual wordpress things so that I don’t need to have a big heap of them all at once to justify an html page, because apparently I’m just not going to do that. I am marking them, to the best of my understanding, with their proper dates, so that they appear in a chrono sensible order and also so that they aren’t placed at the fore on the main page, assuring that nobody ever sees them. I will possibly let you know when “everything” is in the system. You have my assurance that I have devised a new annoying step in the process to make this just as annoying and slow as the old way.

Hello there. Busy busy busy.

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Don’t read this, but…

Is there something wrong with me for thinking the Super Mario Wiki’s description of Pauline, from Donkey Kong, ‘s physical appearance is really creepy? The one for Princess Toadstool is similarly alarming, but there’s so much more silly rubbish on that page prior to that point you’d be unlikely to come across it unless you were looking for it, for comparison purposes. I can’t even get past the “contents” section. In my case, I had merely taken to wondering what Nintendo had done with D Kong’s preferred kidnap victim since the first game, since I know Nintendo loves to reuse old characters

(except for them), and before I knew what I was reading I had found that. With the princess, her being one of the primary Mario series characters, and this being the internet, it is not surprising that over the years someone with spare wiki-writing time would have developed a weird obsession (in contrast, I failed even to notice that her hair color changed between games). I didn’t think anyone could possibly care about Pauline. The writers are content to state that Mario himself is “a short, plump man.” If I was the sort who got into the businesses of others who have business, I would take it upon myself to edit that page to say something like

Mario is a rotund Italian American. He is approximately three feet tall but can grow to twice this by ingesting a magic mushroom. His mustache is composed of a brown arc with 6 humps along the convex side. He appears to be turning to stone. He often has four fingers on each hand but sometimes has five. The buttons on his overalls serve no apparent function.

I have a follow-up to this but it changes the subject entirely and I have a headache. Wondering what color nightshirt Mario’s father wears isn’t helping. Actually the more I think about it the more I think this information is presented in such a manner entirely as a joke. However, “the more I think about it” is further than that sentence should have gotten because I really should not be thinking about this.

Apparently my site was harmful to computers yesterday but now it’s back to merely being harmful to intelligence.

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Robots are big trouble unless you know how to handle them.

What are the times coming to when I must even ban such innocent and necessary phrases as “dumpster rental?”

I suppose nemitz seeks dumpster ownership. I’m sure the banks are giddy at the idea of a whole new category of irresponsible loan-taker to prey on.

ARRRGH THE PROPHECY!

Also am I a potato or are these both the exact same game, that being Trouble, which neither claims to be?

I… I had no idea.

No! I won’t go back! Leave me be! I cannot face those whom I have wronged.

ARRRGGHH!!

GO AWAY YOU DON’T MATTER ENOUGH TO BE ANGRY AT

NEMITZ | How to lose a guy in (6) days | !

I went shopping today and bought you some more equals symbols.

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Oh I forgot to show this on Friday. Aw beets. It was here but I didn’t do the thing that makes it visible to people who aren’t me. Now I did. Or have did. Or did have doned. This is probably unimportant. Here, have a bunch of equals symbols.

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One of the things that surprised me most about fur-affinity (one of the websites where I post drawings (which evidently doesn’t include this one since I keep forgetting to do that)) that I can share here was that people apparently liked the movie Bolt. While certainly I was surprised when I learned people liked Balto, a lot, it has been rather a few years ago since I made that discovery and across time got over and forgot the shock of it. Who would have thought that moving the O over two spaces and dropping the A would also be a recipe for talking dog movie success?

The first I learned of bolt, I was getting some meatloaf or something (I have encountered some dishes in my time which could be both) and I heard the television ad, and I knew it was a disney movie just by the voices. NONE A YOUR POW WERS AREEEEEEEAL! I remember thinking: Disney’s already cornered the market on talking dog cinema. Why mock us like this?

And then more recently…

Disney made a dog movie that’s ALSO a christmas movie. This is GUARANTEED to be a hit, even if the dogs neither speak English nor play sports, and none of the people who buy it are furries. It’s so lazy they didn’t even try to work an unfunny dog pun into the inane, pandery tagline “Meet Santa’s BFF!” For one thing, I hardly think an immortal elf can expect to be best friends forever with an animal whose lifespan rarely exceeds 20 years. Ga ha, burned ’em! (Or should I say ICED ’em! (No, I should not)) Oh how I pine for the days of “Raise the WOOF.” (that coincidentally starred Tim Allen, who is in Christmas movies in addition to dog movies, and regardless of whether he’s Santa Claus.) You could say the pun’s already in the title, but two questions about that: how is it possible nobody had made a movie called Santa Paws before now and what are the chances its sequel will introduce a cat and be called Santa Claws? As inadvisable and awful as raise the woof was, at least I’d never heard it before. Anyway, this has been out for over a month (or two (or three)), so merry post-dog movie Christmas, animal shelters!

Also, the last time I mentioned fur-business, I felt need to distance myself from it. However, that’s what furries do. They draw arguably eroticized fetishy mutant nonsense and then declare themselves better than the other fetish mutants who provide their entire online imaginary livelihood. So then I had to explain that my own characters don’t count as that somehow, and then this idiot showed up:

You think just because you suddenly have antlers you can sass me? Well you can’t, and I won’t tolerate it.

What proof do we have that its name is even really “”nemitz?”” Drrrrrrrgggggg This fiend just enjoys life. YES THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT. If that’s the life it enjoys. If it’s nemitz. Or whatever this thing is which claims to be nemitz. Or rather this thing that just says “nemitz” for no reason, like it’s a sentence. “Nemitz” is not a statement! It communicates no information. That does not justify a period. Unless it’s a period during which punishment takes place.

Nobody cares!

Nemitz is dangerously delusional if it thinks it gets official representatives… it thinks it’s too special to negotiate directly with the common people. I should take control of this page and just post insulting things about nemitz. That would show it.

Nemitz is half as popular as Madmartigan on facebook. That means two nemitzes could potentially beat Madmartigan in a fight. That is not good. Actually two nemitzes in general is not good. nemitz should not be permitted on the premises. or the nemtzes.

When I’m through, all nemitz “surveys” will be the interior of a suitably sized waste receptacle.
Nemitz needs to hop in a dumpster posthaste. Although “hop” sounds mildly enjoyable. Nemitz needs to be dropped off a roof into a dumpster and then wallow there miserably.

So I am just letting you know this, in case you were curious.

Eh well I’m sure you have very important things on your mind.

NEMITZ, talking dogs | How to lose a guy in (5) days | !

My two most common injuries are hangnails and gum lacerations caused by mishandled toothbrushes.

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E investigates kidnapping! I fear these kids are staying lost.

Me oh mice, it must be Missing Persons Monday. E programmers are very considerate. They want to make sure that all kids are safely where they belong:

in front of cameras and going to jail. I enjoyed myself talking endless trash about Lindsee Lohan… when she had a successful, irritating career. After Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Anna Nichole Smithereen all had their idolators turn into antagonists I wonder if the E! station actually sees this stuff coming and that they’re encouraging it, and in fact considers that a big part of the thrill. “Aw spanx I can’t WAIT for Justin Bieber to develop a drug problem! Daniel Radcliffe let us down, that crumbum.” That’s a more comforting thought than them honestly having no idea. You treat these undisciplined spoiled children like infallible gods but gradually require them to become nakeder and nakeder for you to still take their pictures and talk about them once they aren’t cute anymore. Not that Anna Nichole Smith or Paris Hilton ever were, but they were certainly naked a lot.

On the subject of the one-who-biebs, and I’m sure I’m not the first to issue such a call to nobody in particular, but might we give it a rest on the Justin Bieber complaints? I gabbed garbage because I hated a photograph and because I didn’t know who the kid was yet was being told he was the most influential hero in all the lands. The complainers I have encountered since then know exactly who Justin is and it’s their own bloody fault for not putting forth any effort in choosing their own sources of entertainment. I recently read some gloating due to M. Bieber not having won a gramma award. If you WATCH the grammaphonies or care at all who wins the related trinkets you are as much at fault for the manufactured success of this Justin and others as anybody else.

Is he homosexual? I don’t know! I don’t even know if I’m homosexual. You’d think some thug or another at every single stage of my life would have informed me if I was in the most wrathful tone possible. It’s certainly not relevant to the quality of his musical product beyond the sincerity with which he addresses unspecified females in lyrics he most likely did not write for unlike-genital’d fans to imagine themselves in the place of. Every song by Nickleback is about drinking beer and having sex with ladies and that doesn’t make them good.

I remember, last summer, the visiting neighbors’ visiting grandchildren repeatedly expressing, in yell form, their preference for the fellow before jumping into their little hose-filled wading pool. I LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER *splash*. They just shout that for no reason, like a battle cry almost. That’s some heavy commercial indoctrination. If you were to scream the opposite while jumping into your own pool it wouldn’t make any less sense.

As opposed to that big faggot, the buff waddler.

Dire Straits. The band that willingly depicted itself like this in the video you are leaving this comment on had a legitimate beefaroni with your contemporary idea of a “faggot.”

Finally, somebody with some sense.

It is my speculation that the more you speculate on this question the less sense you are capable of making. It’s one thing to say to your friends “ha I bet he’s gay” as a way of downplaying his achievement, because being gay is worse than all failures, but why would you ask this question in earnest to anonymous persons on the internet as if it truly mattered to you? (and how do you have friends?)

Well gee now you’ve got me curious.

===================================

We survived the Backstreet Boys. We survived Ricky Martin (who actually IS gay but that’s beside the point because being gay means a different thing to gay people than it does to whoever persaccuses them of being gay). We survived the Spice Girls (who actually weren’t awful considering the company I’m putting them in). I at least am old enough to remember surviving New Kids on the Block. I know some people who survived the Osmonds or the Monkees or the Partridge Family or whatever else ravaged the land in the cruel pre-bimshwel days. Sometimes annoying stuff gets popular. I often find that it’s the only stuff that gets popular. Such as the communication venues I encounter most of AHHHHHHHHRHRHHR I’VE BEEN TRUNCATED

I didn’t forget about this! I just also didn’t do anything about it.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Important notice! Way back in December I mentioned the foodoid product combos and placed a link to a video sequence on another site. I entered the link improperly. Nobody cared, including myself, so I didn’t notice my error until today.
The link is this.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

page 11 of that. I tried a different thing this time. I probably won’t try that again for a while!

Also I think a serious redesign of the lizard’s transport machine may be in order because it continually confuses me and it’s going to be used more later. In the preview I made evidently in June of last year, the driver is pulling down a handle to shut the door from the inside and I can’t remember what I was thinking. I also don’t remember the car having “doors.”

Also observe how much less fancy this looks if I erase this part of the green circle. The extra boundary conveys no information yet it makes me look edgy to have an oddly shaped, tiny, useless frame. It also makes me look edgy to have a useless frame with no edges. Circles are not practical for filling a rectangle-shaped space! Wastefulness is artistic.

Eh so with the next installment the last of the redraws of nine year-old pages will be completed! Ideally it will not be a ten year old page by then. And thus will commence the redrawing of five year old pages. Later I will have to redraw this when I realize it is an incredibly awkward flashback and that would make more sense to be shown first and then not be flashed-back to.

This suggestion to have a second human with an ear pencil standing by standing is not so much because the ear pencil is essential to complete the job, but it’s good to have another person around to keep you from stabbing yourself with a screw driver (by stabbing you with the pencil first) after you put six screws through the metal frame to the wooden surface, realize one of the legs you attached prior to the screws is wobbly but only three of the screws will come out, and also that the table weighs about 80 pounds and you should have bought the cheap plastic one that was for sale at the actual art store you idiot. You’ll still be miserable but you’ll be too ashamed to exhibit the appropriate facial expression nor admit to the fact that there was an enormous hovering X publicizing your inadequacy moments before.

Well anyheap, now that I have had this table together for a week or deux it’s high time I replaced the deteorating box I’ve been using as chair furniture.

There we are! A much sturdier box. I shall need to teach it some manners, though. A properly polite box waits to be let in.

These are just the esteemed chaps to do it. MTV is associated above all else with thought and introspection which is clearly happening here.
if there’s anything I look for on an internet forum it’s SHOUTING.
Yeah! We’re the hip new generation on the scene! We wear plaid shirts and glasses and we’re LOUD! checkout our massive nostrils!
We eat

Jerk Nuts every days! We keep Scary Spice in our pockets! We hang out with mysterious druids!

See I told you it was plaid. Or they did. Or someone did. Or maybe you just imagined it. C’mon, cut that out. Get with the program. Take a chill pill (but winners don’t use drugs). Hop on the cosmic wagon train. This Aztec sculpture is sideways not necessarily because I like to conserve space; this sort of thing tends to get knocked over during calm and organized rioting. I feel like hitting it with a shoe. Observe that when forced to make a cut the graphic design masterminds chose to crop out the slightly less disagreeable looking screamer.

Oh no! I said screamer, not-

Ohhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooo

life on the street, popular with the robots, rogue clowns | How to lose a guy in (7) days | !

I am departing to purchase a new chair. Ideally, improved comfort will allow me to more efficiently craft excuses for this page here.

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Eh I suppose officially THIS is what I posted last week by now.

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I probably owe you a tremendous explanation for the thing I posted last week. So there’s nothing new.

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I’m tired of strawberries sleeping on the job. I use my most potent magic…!

You may thank me whenever it suits you.

My guess is that Great Value brand does not expect to be held to this guarantee, for no legal definition of “Berrylicious” exists. If I call the telephone number and complain that the cereal was not berrylicious enough my claim cannot be challenged and I may be entitled to a large cash award. They think if they use a big enough asterisk I’ll be intimidated and assume they have footnote protection, which obviously means that they do not! Fiddlesticks, this comes from Wal*Mart, which even has an asterisk in its name! My victory is assured!

Even better, I bought these while they were on sale.

Mweeheehwaharhoheefhophewherghork

Alas, my material wealth has not brought happiness.

My life has meaning again!

how did this take hours to do?, popular with the robots | How to lose a guy in (5) days | !

I think I’ve been putting too much effort lately into pictures only a few people would like. To rectify that I’ve put too much effort into a picture no one would like.

I’ve never been that happy to see burnt bread in my entire life.

A person from the internet recently alerted me to the existence of Freddy Milton, whose Danish comics about a trio of dragons called Gnuff appeared translated in the allegedly long-running “Critters” comic compilation book in the 1980s, a publication which I heretofore never cared to care about. I meant to talk about this on another site better geared toward the discussion of critty sorts but then I kept adding words so it could really only go here, where I don’t care if I get no comments, so I hope you’ll excuse me if this seems more sincere and less abusive than usual.

Have you heard of him? Maybe you have but I hadn’t until recently and he is what this is about. I’ve spent irresponsible quantities of the last six days scouring this material and it’s the sort of thing where now that I’ve almost run out I have to impose it on somebody else. Thankfully, there are no ill-advised video grames for me to play through this time.

There are a bunch of links here to pictures because in an odd twist of irony I actually like this fellow’s work and so don’t dare display it on my page as long as I’m linking to his. I was well educated in my yufe about the perils of Freddy coming for you.
Ehhh well he’s probably not watching, but one can never know what vigilant force is.

He seems to have done a lot of Carl Barks sort things. Or at least mentions Carl Barks a lot, and is something of a Danish authority on the subject. Carl Barks being a cartoonist who popularized increasingly outlandish adventure type comics featuring Donald, Scrooge, et al [Mc]Ducks and inspired many creative folks in his day. Barks was largely responsible for getting Disney comic artists and writers (or at least himself) proper credit where once all had been anonymous, for his ways were too distinctive for anyone else’s to pass as his. Milton doesn’t try to do that but clearly holds dear many of the destined duck depicter’s key principles. Right, so, I never heard of Carl Barks until maybe 2004 or so and he’d been dead since 2000. Herge got dead two weeks before I got birthed and Franquin met his demise before Barks did. Freddy Milton is still alive and from what I can tell maintaining his own website. I greatly approve of this development. This is the sort of person I need to scoff at me.

Alas, as far as I can figure, most of Milton’s output is only available in north-European languages which I cannot read (as opposed to the other European languages I can’t read), but there are a number of complete-seeming comics in English on the website, appropriately enough located in the section “English Stuff.” In fact, the English ones are the only complete long comics there, from what I can tell! Still, you get to ask questions like RIG ELLER AERLIG? I don’t know the answer but it has something to do with fat birds in trenchcoats smoking cigarettes. (It is also worth observing that a buck-toothed proto-gnuff is a recurring element in this series.) Rats really seem to hate the flamboyant flautist. Despite the predominance of human characters, that series looks to be the most saturated with avant-garde weirdness. That is, before the time comes to learn about the activities of disturbing anthropomorphized sausages. Although at least sausage is made from animal matter and can take on instinctual tendencies to flee from peril. They never had a chance!

I’m too amused by the fact that one of the gnuff dragons has a striking, if better-designed resemblance to the lope creature I draw a lot (and I think this is why the topic was mentioned to me) –including wonderfully punchable facial expressions; look at the floating head in that fourth frame. I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy about anything in my entire life– for me to approach that series rationally. I like the Woodrow Woodpecker comics, which the gnufflings aren’t in, so that thankfully suggests maybe there’s merit beyond my fondness for pitiful lizards (we can discuss CROCKY DYLE another time). I haven’t seen any fan-art of them on any of the, admittedly, Amero-centric websites I tend to find embarrassing fan-art on, so I assumed that they are still fairly obscure to English speakers. Or maybe just nobody is a fan of them. I might have sought to rectify this if that were the sort of thing I did.

Though it might seem as if the glorious civic chaos concludes with the woodpecker stories, I found a very incomplete “Critters” torrent which included an excerpt from a gnuff story about some enormous trees once again toppling the fragile local government, in under ten pages! But that isn’t on the website, unfortunately, so I don’t know how it ends. I assume the trees get mistaken for giant broccoli and a giant George Bush Sr. with a dog nose shuns them out of existence.

I’m not sure what the gnuffs’ relationships are to each other. The translated text identifies them as “siblings” but I wonder if that’s just because the Americans thought it would be weird to show a married couple that slept in separate beds. But then in the Orva story, about an unstoppable graffiti artist who gets the national guard deployed, these bird people are clearly in the same bed and nude so I should just trust the translation, even if it did change the peculiar name “Gnip” into the unimaginitive “Gnicky.”

I’m too pleased to observe the constant crossing-over of characters between the various series even when obvious copyright matters seem like they shouldn’t allow it. The W. Woodpecker antagonist Buzz Buzzard becomes a [some other bird] when he’s a Gnuff antagonist but he wears the same old-timey aviator costume and flies the same airplane. A glance through the danish cover gallery reveals that this replacement bird appears again, suggesting that Milton never forgets a useful character. I love that sort of thing.

It’s like when Dick Dastardly became the Dread Baron but still had the same airplane and sounded like Paul Winchell when Hanna Barbera made Yogi Bear and the Spruce Goose which if you’re lucky I’ll never mention again. You can further help this along by not attempting to chastise me for leaving out that he appeared in Laff-a-Lympics first. Give me a break. You’re like a little kid with all this cartoon geekery. We’re talking about Comic Books starring talking animals here.
Even the gnuffs themselves are primarily obvious –acknowledged at that– stand ins for more or less generic ducks and woodpeckers, because the story is more important than who’s in it (compare this old drawing with the updated one on Mr. Milton’s site). For all I know the sausages were replacements for the California Raisins. Which doesn’t bode well for my own prospects, which favor main characters that have massive personality disorders who don’t accomplish much and are hard to draw, especially when the guy doing it properly claims to not make a squeam of a lot of money now that print in general is less profitable, (due to the downfall of reprint venues like “Critters,” for one thing) but I won’t give up soon [enough].

And then uh some of the things are really well drawn. The guy makes lots of corny cartoons but he also draws difficult things like automobiles, banisters and non-psychedelic clouds, and boring things like circuses and an astounding quantity of supermarket scenes, all with perfect perspective and in a manner I don’t find repulsive or boring. I admire people who can work in so many different styles. I can’t comprehend it. It’s humbling. I want to cry. I can’t even draw a potato. I’m used to being inadequated by artists… increasingly kids a fraction of my age who won’t acknowledge me, but rarely professional comic people, because the technically proficient ones aren’t funny or I rationalize everything with “but their ideas are unoriginal tripe.” This is not always the case, obviously, and when that happens I can either hide from it or deal with it, and despite the part of this paragraph that I removed after I posted it I’m not hiding today. I can’t. I made those three pictures and I need some context here to justify their existence. I intend to write Mr. Milton a very embarrassing e-mail at some point. Oh right and practice drawing things I don’t understand more, naturally. Of course a week is the general length of my mega fascinations, and coincidentally my now common length of time between updates. Who will be next?

Perhaps I will make it two weeks and claim my prize!

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Alkaseltzer is far and away the best antacid named after a notorious maximum security prison. If I had TIME to give you an update don’t you think it would better than that?

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I’m worried that enough people have asked google if worrying burns calories that it’s one of the suggested search strings for questions about worrying.

page 42 (scroll down!) of this. It isn’t making any more sense or coming out any faster, but by Gumby it is getting weirder looking. I think my brain is melting. In another year or so the comic will probably resemble a kindergarten finger-painting. This is called artistic maturity. Did you know Pablope Picasso actually made stuff that looked like stuff before he got famous? Yes yes, I am now putting all hope of success on my becoming harder to understand.