Back in the lusty month of May, I received a most curious bit of information following a routine update on the state of the jelly bean crop following its widespread ravagement by gummy worms from my field operative, code name Scarlet Fever Rodriguez And Other Stories. That is a facebook profile, but I believe the news about booby-trapped ovens and sneezes as jet propulsion are matters that the public would be well served to have greater awareness of. However!:

In other news, as the attached documents show, it appears that the skeletons are now attempting both to indoctrinate the yoof

as well as to gain popular support by declaring themselves as a force for fiscal responsibility in this era of high national debt and uncertain finances. This is a distressing development indeed.

I quickly requested permission to retransmit the information…

You are indeed most welcome to draft a report on the skeleton affair; it is important that people be made aware of these propaganda campaigns so that they may better defend themselves against them. If we let these ones pass in silence, next thing you know they’ll be declaring themselves to be skele-FUN, and that’s just unacceptable on multiple levels.

But I was weak. A coward. I feared the skeletons and allowed myself to be silent for too long. Now I realize I must speak out, before more damage is done. The first skeleton, first of all, is way too proud of itself for being first. I know everybody on slashdot admires and congratulates you for it but your spooky pioneership only serves to incriminate you elsewhere, monstrous marrowfiend! You are no longer my first skeleton. As of today, I have no first skeleton. And I suppose that second skeleton thinks I should be impressed that it hired the smallest and cheapest skeletons for its opposition force. While I do fear the mischief tiny skeletons can bring forth (such as, for example, hindering our tiny Belmonts), a greater fear has taken me, and it has today driven me to action. A thing I cannot keep hidden:

DUCKS EVOLVED FROM SKELETONS

I remember seeing this and thinking that the display needed more skeletons. I am appalled at how foolish and naive I was. Skeletons are a thing we most certainly need less of! I mocked the thrifty skeleton for hiring such cheap tiny skeletons but now their purpose is only all too clear! It’s so sad to see a proud and noble race like pirates have their powers corrupted for nefarious purposes.

So pure and tragic is their corruption that they have even seen fit to ally themselves with ducks. We sent forth a champion to steal their treasure, but not in time to halt development on their secret weapon:

SKELETON PIRATE DUCKS.

Alright, this is too stupid to finish. For one thing, everybody knows real pirates keep macaws, not cockatiels. That’s just ignorant.

I started to write something about skeletons, but then I was attacked by mummies.

================================

I’m half a day short of being out of that house and in my apartment for a full week and every time I hear a sound of certain pitch I still momentarily worry it’s the cat and he’s found me.

================================

Learn how to draw cartoons from somebody who can’t!

This looks like somebody printed out sprites from Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! and traced over them. Well it’s not manga reasonableness, I suppose. They had to call it something once How to Draw Webcomics circa 1998 stopped selling. 40 Basic Lessons. Lesson 1: Don’t start at Barnes and Noble. Lesson 2: Don’t buy a book by a Canadian. In recognition of my own upcoming book about not getting awkward, probably a bit sensitive allegedly professional artists to sue your website I reveal my own first lesson which is to not type their names into google and then not to place links to additional art of theirs you find online. He probably has enough problems if his site is half on Angelfire and employing eXTReMe trackers.

Although to be fair the official Japanese Gunstar Gyros Game Boy Advance sequel has artwork like this so maybe the times are a-just changing or however it goes. (The only thing that doesn’t change is me; my cousins once told me I would appreciate Bob Dylan and not care how awful his singing was by the time I was in their age category). Other countries, including Japan, love junk that used to be popular in America, and it just so happens that the substandard of imitation of Japanese stuff is one of them. Another thing that’s changed:

I saw that book in a store “last week”

and got a bit annoyed at it, but I can’t say I’m surprised that it exists or that people might have bought it.

I can understand the “fursona” thing… you have a personal character that you associate with yourself. Maybe I think it’s boring and occasionally just a bit egotistical, but it’s personal. If you’re just going to draw yourself all the time anyway it might as well be a fanciful version. I have a book by Arrr Crumb full of drawings of himself in varying states of dress next to word balloons talking about himself and after a while I just got sick of looking at him.
“Furry” as a gimmick copied out of a book is stupid. I can understand, again, with reservations, why you’d want some cheap and hacky shortcut to drawing pirates or giant robots, but “furry,” by this book’s implied definition, just means a regular, average, unremarkable person with an animal head and also a tail for some evolution-ignorant non-reason. The only reasonable reasons are “it’s cute” or “it’s silly” or “it’s stupid,” and not meant to be taken seriously, because it’s fantasy and made up. People are SERIOUS about dumb old furries. So look at real animals, and real people, and figure it out. Or cartoon people and cartoon animals. But for frog’s sake you shouldn’t need a whole book to tell you to make mix-em-ups.
You can see, or I imagine that you might, that this is directly beside books professing to instruct on how to draw dragons, fantasy creatures, generic super heroes, specific copyrighted Marvel characters and MANGA ANIMALS. It’s all rubbish.

Also present, Drawing Vampires, How to Draw MORE Pirates and Erotic Manga: Draw Like them Experts.

I’m personally still waiting for Erotic Mangia: How to Eat Like a Harlot.
Ehhh. If “furry” isn’t a trendy gimmick, market forces would welcome it becoming one. I say it already has, with junk like Avatar and Bolt (which are enough alike for this context despite not really being all that much alike) getting major pushes / watched. Draw Furries: the Junior Novelization is merely filling the gap between “I can draw cartoon animals” and… the erotic manga book, I guess.

People should realize that these books are the artistic equivalent of those Atkins, South Beach, Pork ‘n Styrofoam et ew diet books. They won’t, but they should. I don’t doubt that there is actual good advice and occasional bits to take inspiration from, but that stuff is easy to find for free if you care to look for it or ask sensible people without a financial stake about.

On the topic of “fursonas,” none of these dorks are mine because none of them do anything that I do and only one has fur, besides. I am very boring. However, I also like a lot less dumb things than they do.

Like them, for example.

I mean, don’t like them at all.
If I made a character to represent myself it would probably be a ferris wheel that got shut down after somebody fell off it. Or a potato. Or a scoop.

——————————

Tuesday, january 4: here I go, and by krimpet I mean it this time. I should have updated the thing before I left but it wouldn’t have been very good and I reckon you’ll not see even this for a while after it goes here!

——————————-x/x/x/x/x

With a new year come new absences of content.

===============================

page forty…one? of this. Hey, remember this? Neither do I. I also don’t expect my rate of completion will improve much as long as I’m putting 45 stupid little characters on each page and insisting on coloring them like they matter.

Annnd… well that’s over then. I’ll see you in April!

Like every money taking object in the school vicinity, coke products are sold here. they actually cost more than the coke from the vending machine

Tuesday, December 7, 2010: I was operating a chair at the table outside the crampus book store, awaiting a visitor who owned an automobile who would retrieve me from the location. Before that happened, an oafy fellow almost walked by, glanced at me, stopped and oh-so-secretly slid this bookmark thing over to me,
while speaking “we buy textbooks.” No “hello,” no “excuse me are you interested in hearing what we do?” Just “we buy text books.” I responded “that’s good to know.

I think they sell them in there” while gesturing toward the store. The fellow re-respont “okay, but we buy text books.” Hey guy, I buy textbooks too. You haven’t made any great accomplishment. That guy doesn’t even know what he’s saying. He has no backup plan for if his routine is interrupted and is incapable of improvising pertinent words. He can only say what he’s been programmed to say. He is scarcely a human being. Assuming he’s looking to RE-buy MY books, It is worth noting that my ownership of any was not evident at the time; I had none in front of me and indeed did not even bring any with me that day. And so I have noted it.

Anywhy, the book store. I try not to spend too much time in there because the sound system is usually playing Aerosmith songs. They play Aerosmith songs because they don’t want me to spend time in the store. But I’ll show them! I don’t go in there anyway because I don’t read books! Sometimes I’m too smart for ’em. Yeah, just today Em told me not to fly the house during the tornado but I’m going to do it anyway.

All I want to do is eat all day. But they also sell snacks. Ahhhhhh naw!

But they don’t sell GOOD snacks! Haaaaa meeeaw! But I had to taste them to realize they were bad! Nuuuuuuuu pogodi!

Corn nuts are really bland and it’s impossible to eat them quietly. And then an hour or so later I’d just about finished them and I never wanted to eat one again. But don’t let me dissuade you, please. If you’re really curious about corn nuts I highly recommend that you dump salt on some gravel and put it in your mouth.

I also purchased this because I only make personal sacrifices when they benefit nobody, and I had neglected to bring my customary bottle of water to the universe city that day, besides. Having sampled products by this company in the past I figured it would be LIKE water enough to serve as a substitute. It was, but entirely the wrong kind. LIFE WATER. Urk, awful, urkful. It was like somebody had pumped a syringe full of Robitussin into one of those free lollypops they give away at the bank and jammed it up my nose without stopping to regard the partition between my nostrils. How was this possible? 0 sugar, 0 sodium… ARTIFICIAL SWEETENETERS! Aw blast, why are companies not required to list THAT piece of trash on their nutrition percentages in a place where I’d bother to look? This tea is VILE.

I’d oblige you to leave me out of this, thank you. Oh like you’re so polite.

Instead of getting you to drink more by dehydrating you or getting you addicted to caffeine, this one keeps you coming back just because the fresh liquid is the only thing chasing the awful temporarily out of your flavor center.
I was thinking, which I do sometimes, “I COULD buy something sugary, but I had iced tea yesterday… oh gee look this has no sugar in it! That’ll make everything hunky dory*.” I don’t know if it’s Stevia or Splenda, but the first one sounds like it’s made of pieces of Steven Seagal and Stephen Baldwin and the other just sounds like it’s too proud of itself so obviously neither is acceptable. Whose idea was this?

Arrrrd that wasn’t clever!

That’s where it was going eventually anyway. Do you know what this MEANS? I do NOT throw food away. More importantly I don’t throw chemically concocted calorie vessels away, either.

This is the sort of stuff I collect at a buffet.

What a dreaded mixture of components to leave me unable to finish!

I eats to the finish and nothing less than an enormous floating torso of a blue haired lady will keep me from it under normal circumstances.

*the actual hunky-doriness of the language I used may be called into question

Everybody’s so irritable! I swear that I am working on many things. Some of them are even trivial enough to be pertinent to this website.

——————————————————

december 25:

Aw naw, I forgot we were doing Christmitz again this year.

——————————————————

All I want to do is eat, all day.

Healthy Way snacks! A healthy way is a good way to eat all day.

However, if you’re selling Jerky, Pringles and COMBOS you should NOT be allowed to use this logo.

The last time I bought combos was, according to my notes, January 2007. I have forgotten how I determined this. I’ve been putting off this dumb story for three years.

I purchased the COMBOS at a Walgreens. It was a mistake, but most of my Walgreens purchases are, and looking over the receipt afterward did lead me to a startling revelation: the Combos were actually on sale and I paid half as much as I thought I had, and most of the price had been the M&Ms I also purchased. But also, some items listed on the receipt were followed by an asterisk. I looked further down and redeemed the asterisk for knowledge that these items may be purchased with food stamps. Food stamps may be paid toward the purchase of COMBOS. Do not buy Combos with your food stamps. Food stamps are for food. Combos are not food. They are scarcely a snack. They are a science experiment. Considering that they already imply meat with the pepperoni pizza flavor, it would not be out of turn for Combose to develop a laboratory animal flavor.

I meant to scan the receipt and show it, but I didn’t, and then two weeks later I was getting mad at all the paper on my “desk” and that one especially bothered me because I could think of no reason why I had kept it, long since having consumed any mistakes I may have hoped to get petty refunds for. These are my struggles.

And then three months later, Friday, May foist, also 2007, also specifically documented, I found out that I qualified for food stamps. For some reason I was ashamed, even though they do make America stronger and white supremacy sites direct link to images I can change into pictures of Olmec and posterior-wiping cartoon frogs. I was ashamed, but then I realized I could buy soup. Anyway, time to get me some combos.

The strange power of combos is that as soon as you admit you eat them you feel really bad. Not as bad as you physically feel immediately after eating them, thankfully.

This NEVER happened. Not even ONE TIME. Was anybody fooled by this shot of a knife supposedly spreading the filling over, and somehow into the pretzeline tube? Even if that was physically possible they’d still make a robot do it. You’re more likely to find actual apple-based content in a box of Apple Jacks. You’d be more likely to find a jack in there. I used to like combos a lot when I was 11ish or so, but even then I couldn’t eat the default “cheddar” flavor. Something was never quite right there.

Combos do more harm than good. Consuming them has degenerated my motor skills to the extent that this is the best pertinent Street Fighter 2 screenshot I can stage even while controlling both players.

This one doesn’t count because it’s from one of the numerous forgotten early 1990s Street Fighter 2 spinoffs Capcom made to get out of having to make a definitive “3” in the series, Street Fighter II: Championship Obstetrician.

I’m not good at this game, either.

My pictures have way too many clouds in them.

I wondered why I hadn’t colored anything like this in a while. Then I remembered.

I am sensitive to imagery depicting harm coming to eyes, and seem to have become moreso between when the pencil drawing happened and when I made it computery, because I recall trying to insert additional cheek shielding, but I failed.

I’m not surprised that this place was raided by police. Only because it was for selling stolen goods and not for stuffing dead bodies inside mattresses. That at least explains how they were able to sell the things for one dollar.

==================================
Hey, Thursday the 16, how are you feeling today?

Well you’ll just have to wait some more, thursday!
=================================

Now that I have time to attempt to make nice things I am too cold to do that. I have, however, stopped cracking my knuckles, in case you didn’t notice.

================================

I ought to preface this with the comical sound effect “nsfw”.

This means “not safe for work.” Evidently goofing off while on salaried time is permissible as long as there aren’t any nipples involved. Unfortunately, if you are in a field of work like bullfighter, broken glass juggler or piranha plant farmer which is inherently unsafe anyhow, you should be warned about using your on-the-job internet for this. People who do not work may not look under any circumstances.

Personally, I have to disagree with the necessity of this sort of notification, at least for the specific context of what I’m doing here. If anything, you’ll find it repulsive enough to turn away sooner than you ordinarily would and maybe actually get something done. And so:

I’ve been asked at least 0 times if various characters that I have been rumored to draw pictures of are male or female. My answer is usually “no” but in actuality I leave people to determine whatever suits them best, in the absence of any hard (ha uh) evidence one way or another way because this is important to them? I have in possession a picture, that at last proves that elpse, the green imp, is…

really ugly. We don’t learn anything new about nemitz. Just as cooperative as usual. Don’t you know, nemitz only associates with ducks and toilets.

This seems to be from an anonymous group picture drawing session, but I think I know who did the first one; I only know one person who draws hands like that who would also dare to draw a dumb nemitz. I’ll be more specific some other occasion.
Or maybe just the next time I get googly curious about meeplesworth, which is associated with ever more prestigious topics.

My initial suspicion was that this person provided a link to explain what the creature was and whoever added the second character hadn’t actually any idea what it was. Almost certainly for the best.

What I’m curious about is the third party who saw the picture and identified the depicted parties collectively as “bimshwel.” I didn’t think anybody associated these dumb imps with the website I pay for, (apart from their current presence in the main page’s header, but nobody comes to the main page) rather than the sites I use for free and post pictures of these on. Such as, for example, the last time I ended up there. I don’t even call them “bimshwel.” I’m not complaining, though; I’d never have found it at all if nobody had cared to drop one of my obsessive google keywords somewhere on the page and it was just about the best laugh I had the whole day I found this. I catalog and rate all my laughs because I am a miserable person.

You could argue that the challenger isn’t supposed to be an elpse at all due to the wrong horns and uncharacteristic scrotum-like object beneath the neck and the grotesque nipply fat-sacs about the chest region and you’d have a very solid argument. Congratulations.

I spoke briefly with the artist and he informed me
well it started to be a cute pic and suddenly… oh well it’s always got a good ambiance there.
He denied any knowledge of the second creature, only submitting that he thought it was supposed to be a cow. Well for all we know it’s actually an eagle.

My hope, however, is that it’s The Skinny Cow.

That’s the only anthropomopized cow in the history of illustration to not have a horrendous, prominent pink udder so… well now it has… hey, wait a minute!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBOLOADING

You’re so proud of yourself, aren’t you!

ogoplex | How to lose a guy in (6) days | !

I don’t believe it! Six whole entries without a picture from inside a restroom.

Aw naw!

Did somebody REALLY try to throw away a credit card in an airplane toilet? And how about the bottle? That’s ridiculous!

Oday… that’s a considerable improvement, actually. There’s still work to do but you’ll get it with time, I think.

NO, not that kind of time. I don’t like that they’re equating waste-passing with parties.

And again, I think you’re using it the wrong way anyhow. Although I’m told the best parties actually end with one’s face in the latrine, making for a true, united potty time, I don’t get invited to parties so I am disqualifying it.

I don’t want to THINK about what the yellow emoticon is doing on the toilet, much less why it’s getting such euphoria from it. The least sinister thing I can think of is that it found somebody else’s credit card, but honestly then the thing’s just a scumbag.

I have plenty of those already! At least this coconutwit is choosing better company these days.

NEMITZ, world's finest toilets | How to lose a guy in (3) days | !

I’m going to try posting short things again to save myself rage. We will see how that goes.
Actually it went pretty bad because I wrote this to be short weeks ago and then it got long and I gave up on it.

If the ocean was Booz And I was a duck I’d swim to the bottom And drink my way up But the ocean’s not Booz And I’m not a duck So pour another shot And let’s get Fluffed up!!!

Up doesn’t even rhyme with duck once, much less a second time. The success of the “try, try again” method hinges heavily on you not publishing your failed attempts. You try until you succeed, and THEN you show people. You could try to rhyme up and duck forever and it would never work, and therefore you would never show this poem to anybody. What went wrong? Keep in mind that these people / their parents are paying serious money to come here. I know this because one of them said as much to me when I identified myself as “Potato Margobian” during one of several nigh unbearable introduction sessions roundabout late August. I will tell you about this some other time. I know I say that a lot but I’ve already told some people so in theory I need only type the story I already told and we can be done with it. I probably won’t.

Not surprisingly, there are countless googly results for variations on this little sonnet, most with “vodka” or “whiskey” in place of “booz.” Which makes sense; all the other words are spelled properly. Sometimes ocean is water, and a variety of things precede “up” in the last line. Sadly, the duck rhyme is non-negotiable. Somebody thought “gosh oh gee, apart from the vodka part, EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD TO ME.” My favorite edition replaces the word with “Jack Daniels,” which adds a minimum of one extra syllable, making the thing even more awkward than it already was.

Anyway, with this basic fact ungrasped there seems little need to investigate what bodies of water ducks actually swim in nor which side they do it on, or even how much of it they care to consume. I am curious about the spelling of “booz” and its capitalization. Perhaps the architect of this mass of words is actually speculating upon the circumstances likely to occur if the ocean was Boos, the drunk from Return to Zork. My guess is that by being a digitized actor rather than ultra corny early 1990s pre-Myst computer graphic effects he would still be a more convincing likeness of one.

Although to be fair, even though I needn’t bother because I’m going to insult it again in a minute, whoever recorded most of the Zork youtube videos doesn’t have the game on the highest detail level. The graphics are not supposed to be QUITE as bad as they appear, but I was too afraid to play the thing back when I had it and I’m even more scared of it now that I see how corny it is, and the lower the detail the scarier it is, especially if you select ADLIB as your music source. So let us not Return to Zork at this time.

We should also not watch The Legend of Cryin’ Ryan, a boring straight-to-video movie about some kid becoming friends with a ghost, in which the Boos actor Harold Smith (II) appears as a gravedigger and announces that “if you knock over a tombstone, you die the same way,” because that seems a terribly pathetic way to die. Or maybe he means I will die the same way as the person whose grave it is, and he knows that because he killed everyone he buried and took notes and doesn’t appreciate his apparently very delicate and knock-overable craft being disturbed. He is even clutching a shovel in this picture, which suggests he’s burying people fairly regularly. He recently killed Jay Leno to make his beard. His previous beard got 43 million dollars to leave instead of being re-purposed as a mustache but is still complaining for some reason. Oh ho ho I’m almost culturally relevant a year ago.
…I told you it was boring. I just needed proof that game was made by real people and not highly intelligent computer mechanisms that wanted us to give up on advanced technology so we would leave them alone, allowing them to run chess simulations and de-fragment their hard drives endlessly.

Sadly, the duck epic was cleaned off shortly after I took that picture. Thankfully, this classy, elaborate graffitos in the same stall remains.

You know, I’m sure, I have displayed a disturbing number of pictures from inside restrooms lately. Let us break from that tradition for a moment.

I’m starting to think my last camera jumped into the waterfall on purpose.

“WASH”
Right to the point, I like it.

This really is the best place for soap.

If you’re wondering about the “janitor” from the other post month or so ago, I was correct in assuming pay was not the issue; it’s a blooming tree. And way past blooming season, at that. Do you see what we’re up against? Don’t try to negotiate with them; they’ll threaten to leave in any situation.

Also:
“The actual line is “a lie told often enough becomes the truth,” often attributed to Vladimir Lenin, which puzzles me, given this sector’s clear aversion to commie ideology evident in replacing vodka with generic booz.”
I said that in the previous post also. It was a reference to this one here now, even though this did not yet exist, and therefore ought to have removed it, but I forgot to, because I hate this site and don’t read it. Thus not only did I say something that made absolutely no sense, I included it with a most obvious spelling curiosity. Whoopth.

UNACCEPTABLE. PUNISHMENT COMMENCES.

They’re ALL in on it. I’d say “I should have known” but I DID KNOW and have REPEATEDLY SAID SO.

=========================================

Sunday… I can tell “you” already that this site won’t be properly updated again until Thursday at the soonest, and I may just decide to have a nap instead. So watch out.

===========================================

Hello, today is thursday, December the two. I will come back later tonight and post something I already regret.

===========================================

In frap I have changed my mind. What can I show you instead? More of these?

*I* don't even want to read all this, ducks, NEMITZ, popular with the robots | How to lose a guy in (2) days | !

Tuesday or thereabouts:
I just spent three-and-a-half days doing things I didn’t have time to do. Which is nothing new but usually I don’t not-do things all at once like that.

Oh!

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

=======================================

Sleep well, Canada: The Unknown chicken is defending your rights

I took this picture intending to say something which I now do not recall. I thought I should write it down but I believed as soon as I looked upon the thing I would remember. However, Dr. Oz is so unpleasant that my memory is impaired by the onset of inspiration as to how he is awful. Dr. Oz is as creepy as his name. He has no depth. He looks like an Edouard Manet painting. His head looks like a cheese sculpture. He looks like a puppet from Crank Yankers. He looks like Pat Sajak as a Ken doll. I don’t even know what California pseudoscientific field he’s associated with, just that I really do not trust him at all.
Well according to the internet, the only person who tells me things, unlike the last dork who got a television show exclusively through Oprah Winfrey being amused by his existence, Oz here is an actual doctor: a heart surgeon, which is potentially good for him, as far as my baseless assumptions amounting to nothing go. However, that means that I have to add a disclaimer admitting that my assumptions are baseless beyond him resembling a Nintendo 64 character. How is that fair?

In related news I don’t trust John Travolta, either.
Now, sometimes, people tell me this bloat is a Scientomologist, like that’s a crime, and for all I know it is or ought to be, but at least nobody’s set off a car bomb in the name of Xenu yet.

Of course Arnold Schwarzenegger et everybody was on totally legal steroids back in the 1960s so it hardly strikes me as valid journalism, much less responsible journalism to use this guy as some sort of idealized human being whose condition is attainable through any reasonable means or practical if it is. He says the steroids were strictly for “muscle maintenance” but great gimpity we just went over something like this. Let’s imagine this happened through totally natural means: I’ll still think it’s horrifying.

Not that this guy is any better / thoroughly unroided. AWWWWWWWWWWW BANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! At least Schwarzy seems to enjoy his life. This oaf looks miserable.
Another of my assumptions is that the not-yet-illegal jugs of megadust they’re pushing now aren’t a great improvement, safety-wise, over what this guy’s actually on, so they’re not even going to get you looking like this before you put yourself in a hospital with them. How is that fair?

And then I have a picture of my brother sending a text message while on a stretcher (following an entirely un-steroidy product-related issue) but the ambulance driver told me the HIPAA people can sue me for that because it violates some patient privacy business regardless of my relationship to the subject. They probably won’t but assuming they try I want to have a clear schedule when their representative posts goofy comments on this entry about how I’m not allowed to make fun of people who send me threats in the mail. Honestly, these have been waiting for three months. I can’t stand it.

Of course Arnold Schwarzenborzen also likes to sue people who talk trash about his steroid use, but I only implied that you were going into the hospital and in any event that’s probably not the worst thing I’ve ever said about him. No, that would be when I agreed with the decision to dub over his voice in Hercules in New York. Of course, I think his voice should have been dubbed by Arnold Stang so that he could talk to himself for most of the movie, but that’s likely because I have problems. Someday I will admit that I regret this. Until then it’s unofficial.

And some other day an anonymous wikipedia contributor will admit to regretting implying Arnold probably regrets more of his movies and promptly regret admitting this regret.

No, I don’t hate Shwarzenfruben. I like that scene in Total Recall where he wears a turban. Also, he stood up to the Undertaker.

Don’t say flavor, don’t say flavor…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARBALEST!

There’s a considerable difference between a holding a charity event and making a big old heap of used shoes.

I admit that the Multicultural Center was the last campus organization I expected to sponsor a gollywog contest.

I’ve deleted a few thousand of these the last few weeks, all with totally random names, but HONESTLY… I wish my name was Teisha Crookshank. That sounds like the name of a really boring potted plant that nobody would care about otherwise. That’s like one of those comic strips that was in the Hartford Courant but not the New Haven Register that I only saw then I visited my grandmother. That’s like the name of a feature film starring a former Saturday Night Live actor about a character that was too lame to even get on the show. It sounds like a controversial sewing maneuver. That’s the name of a band that won grammy awards for truly insufferable ballads in the mid 1990s. It’s the cut of meat used in the dollar tacos from the truck that parks outside Gateway Community College. It’s a zany elderly person character from an upcoming Harry Potter ripoff book series. That’s somebody who managed The Million Dollar Man back in the old WWF. Awwwwwww beans.

And this will be another week! Where do they come from? I can’t say, but I bet they have come a long long way. Not one of them is like another. Don’t ask us why, go ask your mother.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Apparently this site earns $1.53 every day from ad revenue. However, the only [financially motivated] advertisements are posted by robots and followed by other robots looking for more sites to post ads on. Who is paying them to do that?

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Hey, remember this one? Well I don’t so I am posting a picture of it to remind myself.

I don’t know whether to feel vindicated or offended.

I have always strived for NOBROW.

drat it all, I got some inspiration. I will have to wait until tomorrow, then.

========================================================

Nurvmembo furf:
I will see about posting something later. It will probably be very short.
Oh no actually today’s still legally the third. I no longer have any natural concept of what day it is.

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Nubembor thoid:
as far as I am yet aware the spray-paint didn’t give me cancer, but I’ll be a monkey’s umbrella if this superglue leaves me with any fingerprints in the end. Although in such a state I would be an unlikely suspect in any police proceedings anyhow so it is unlikely my print condition would make much difference. Time for a crime spree.

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November foist:
Oh bixby, another seven days with no update.

This only makes it worse.

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Why does livejournal still remember the birthday of an account that was deleted five years ago and what does it expect me to do with this information?

Why did I not allow my mother to continue believing that I had, in old times, refused to play Battletoads?

Why did I wake up September 5 2010 to find a used twinkie wrapper in my bedroom when I’ve not eaten or touched a twinkie in my life nor known anybody who does?

2008. This was not consumed out of youthful foolishness by a previous tenant. Somebody ate this within the past three years. Maybe someone I know. Why did this person eat that? Why do I know this person? Why do I have this person’s trash?

Very good. You have acknowledged the trash can. What comes next?

Splendid. Just be more discrete about it, lest you rouse to action

OH NO! TRASH GORDON! We do have one option. It’s worked before…

Back off, Gordsy. I’m very afraid to use this but I will if it becomes necessary. Yes indiddly, we truly do live in an age of unprecedented prosperity. Now anybody who can afford to may have the luxury of defeating Flash Gordon. Logically this also ought to work on people whose names rhyme with his.

Beets to it all, I was not prepared for such cowardice and deception! I fear we have not seen the last of this villain. He knows he cannot compete with my arsenal. No doubt he has sought the monetary assistance of his influential aristocratic ally

GILES RUBBISH. This rules out getting Scruffy the Dumpster Slayer on my side. And this is too stupid to continue. Good day.

popular with the robots, rubbish rage | How to lose a guy in (4) days | !

How ever did this happen? Not the depicted incident, just that I finally got a picture here without a certain annoying red imp in it and another red imp shows up.

I owed a thing to Matugi anyway, I think, but really he is a nice fellow who is well deserving of anything. This took far longer than it ought to have because perspective is my nemesis. nemitz is also my nemitsis but we aren’t talking about that.

I have great fondness for unfortunate imps, evidently. Well!

I didn’t think to mess with the colors until I had already declared the thing finished. I like the next-to-last one best. This is probably an important point in time, as the things I did after this were considerably more likely to have messed up colors in them than previous stuff had been.

A LIE TOLD 100,000 TIMES IS THE TRUEST TRUTH
Wow, I think you might really be on to nothing! Nice work remembering the comma in 100000, though. I might not have had respect for you otherwise.

what about one told 99,000 times?

What about if the only way you can think to communicate your grand old thought is to write it anonymously on a bathroom wall then maybe it’s not such a clever good idea?

The actual line is “a lie told often enough becomes the truth,” often attributed to Vladimir Lenin, which puzzles me, given this sector’s clear aversion to commie ideology evident in replacing vodka with generic booz. I don’t know if Mr. Lenin actually said that, but the line itself is always the same. It is important to include the part about the lie becoming “truth.” A change is occurring and it’s sort of a sinister change. The other way suggests that it was true all along, and there’s nothing sneaky about it, and that it may have been covered up. It’s the truest truth there is. You’ve missed the point entirely. Lenin was explaining a way to control people, and you’re just enthusiastic about being an idiot trying to seem smart by getting quotes wrong.

R’AMEN, BRO

I’m sure Lenin would have appreciated your religious convictions.

Eyyyyy! Thums up.

Well how about that.
It was not I who added the R before the “AMEN,” because I do not approve of standard store-purchased ramen noodle packages due to the high sodium content. Yes, I will regularly eat entire pizzas with similarly outlandish salt content and in with much larger portions, but not out of dinkity little wax paper cups. I am a glutton with class.

I really have put this off for far too long.

While I don’t doubt the work they do is often undervalued, this seems to suggest that the janitors being underpaid has led to the asinine grafitti not being cleaned up. I think that merely means we need new janitors. There is a difference between standing up for your rights and doing a deliberately shoddy job.

Revolution! Rise up! Rise up! Disgrimeament is the ideal of soapcialism*

Nooooooski! Don’t listen to him! This will only lead to a new elite ruling class of complacent fat cat janitors!

Aw beans.

On the plus side I’ve been waiting years to test my secret weapon.

^{*you’re lucky I tried at all.}

*I* don't even want to read all this, Boot Club, popular with the robots | How could you say such a thing! | !