Nonetheless, that bowl has shown no intention of ending. In honor of this, I continue my annual tradition of not going to Olive Garden.
And I say that as somebody who has agreed to go to Chip’s Pub, the restaurant with this menu, on numerous occasions. It is not as if I have standards. Honestly I can’t be waiting around for that bowl to end all day.
Oh right (wrong), I was complaining about this thing. What a pathetic dajinni! It has to carry its own teapot! Why is it wearing a HUGE turban? Does it think it is exercising religious purity? Does it think it will attain salvation and that I will be cursed for eternity because I do not wear a turban? Does it think it is better than me? Arrrf I want to wish for its freedom just so I can trap it in a box. But it can’t grant wishes!
Guess what, frimp: the gods have forsaken you! They made you live inside a teapot and have smoke for legs. You can only come out when somebody deliberately lets you out, and the only person who WOULD let you out would be something just as pathetic and meeply as you are! And worse, you were made you into some dumb unholy animaloid instead of a regular unholy human. You wear a turban as an accessory only and are therefore guilty of cultural appropriation, which according to the internet is problematic.
Regarding bowtie imps, some years earlier, I recalled a fragment of dream after awaking, and it featured a pathetic little creature correcting me “not meepmire, meepmere!,” as I had evidently mistaken it for the initial bow tie fool, “Mortimewde Stapleton Meepmire.”
To respond, first of all, I will call you whatever the meep I want! You’re lucky I even chose to get the first part right! Everyone hates you! Foul, wretched meepmere!
I could not recall the exact nature of meepmere and struggled to visually depict it. I can’t remember the last time I hated a beast so much before I’d even seen it. Unlike “meepmire,” it doesn’t even have a first name. It just is meepmere. It is a cut rate bootleg version of meepmire, despite having no legs, just feet, thus rendering it incapable of wearing a boot. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a low-budget version of rubbish?
Stupid 2 cent garbage disposal animal. At one point in the pre-meepmere era, roughly mid-2005, back when I owned the world’s bloodiest television box, an advertisement for Galaxy Discount Carpet was repeatedly aired on local television, featuring a corny un-animated space ship floating through a real rug store accompanied by appropriately corny sound effects. Try and imagine the horror if you were standing on the street and you saw THAT THING appear from the sky and come toward you, totally unanimated. Would you shop at a store that IT shopped at? I was known to remark, possibly involuntarily, “AHHHHH TOO CHEAP! IT COST ONE CENT TO MAKE!” repeatedly in an incorrigibly high-pitched voice that would probably scar my vocal cords if I tried it now, thus making Galaxy Carpet the only thing that costs less than meepmere. The people responsible collectively received half a meepmere. The question, then: was it the meep or the mere?
During december the ad had a likewise cheap holly leaf overlay, that I will argue did not raise the budget since it was most certainly pulled out of someone else’s trash can. I understand that I am meant to be enamored with the cheapness, to assume “the carpet prices are surely also low!” but I don’t think I would want a carpet which was THAT cheap. It is probably made out of seaweed and diapers.
Galaxy Discount Carpet is SO cheap that its website has a different name than the store and they just figured oh well and displayed the wrong name directly beside the right name. They guarantee to beat any competitor’s price on the money they spend on advertising! They thought I would be impressed that they aligned the second, alternate-fonted instance of the telephone number to the roof, even though it only matches one of the roof parts that it touches. That phone number has no idea how cheap it is. I bet galaxy carpets don’t even fly! Perfect for today’s genie to keep inside its forbidden cave. The cave is forbidden because it is too stupid.
Some people get epiphany, life changing, prophetic visions in their dreams. They become inspired to create great paintings, novels and symphonies. All I got was MEEPMERE. And then I had to figure out what meepmere was! What a chore! Meepmere thinks it gets to control my life like that? Meepmere is sub-pumpkin! That genie probably started out as a meepmere. Meepmere isn’t superior to a doughnut! That is why in my completed displayable art there are two pictures of doughnuts and no meepmeres. I do not even like meepmere on a leap year. Meepmere is among my least favorite meeps, and I hate a lot of meeps!
This is beside the point, but I was certain I put this on a page years ago, since it is important to me, but I could not find it, even though I posted a different complaint on the topic after realizing it:
At the conclusion of the Disney Aladdin animated feature film, the short fat nameless man rhetorically asks “am I sultan or am I sultan?” In fact, he may be unsure because he isn’t sultan: Jaffar is the sultan. Jafar used the Genie’s power to become so earlier. Nobody ever unwished Jaffar from being sultan. Likewise, Aladdin is really a prince.
Even lurking creepily
and without fingernails, he is a prince, and therefore outranks the jobless dwarf who formerly was sultan, and does not need any rule changed, nor to wish to be made a prince again. The inbreeding that led to his nailless fingers suggests legitimate royal ancestry, besides. And ironically, Aladdin no longer needs to be a prince to marry Jasmine anyway since her way-too-old-to-have-a-teenage-daughter-father is no longer sultan. The genie is just trying to con Aladdin into making a non-wish to make up for the earlier free wish he accidentally granted, because the rules are all in his mind and he cannot mentally handle an inaccurate wish-count, but he can’t admit it because nobody believes he REALLY suffers that badly and could easily stop if he wanted to, and would even point to the earlier event as “proof.” Judgemental privileged non-immortal scumbags.
We never find out the blue genie’s name, either. After Jaffar wishes to be a genie, he continues to be known as Jafar. Unless the blue one was actually named “Genie” prior to becoming one, this doesn’t make sense, and it is rather dehumanizing for the people around him to continue referring to him exclusively as his race. It is like my father watching dumb vote-off shows and referring to the deeds of “the black guy.” Perhaps the genie forgot his old name after “ten thousand years.” But not the weird rules he made up that no other being has the power to hold him to. And after being freed, he legally no longer is a genie, since Jafar, merely through wishing to be a genie, was automatically imprisoned. Prisoner status is inextricably tied to genie status. A freed genie is a geNO. One can still grant wishes, but only if you wish for pizza rolls.
Thankfully, you don’t have to wish for indigestion!
Oh faddle dee doo, another embedded video.
I suppose Super NES Seizure would have been a more catchy title. But if I knew a thing about catching on I wouldn’t need to make stupid gimmicky videos like this. Consider:
It is full of video games
It exhibits no playing skill
It is rather long.
I have the capacity to keep clunking these out.
I would have to work hard to mess this up. Fortunately, nothing I do is easy.
But I bet this looks like it was easy to make! Especially since Macromedia Flash, what I usually make videos in, can automatically load images in sequence if they have numerically ordered file names like these pictures were generated with.
However, I was unprepared for how Flash would lock up and what seemingly innocuous occurrences would cause it. Even though locking up has historically been what Flash does in [any] situations. In this one, most errors relate to moving large amounts of frames after I remembered another folder full of older screen-captures that I forgot to add before the newer ones already in there. Any reasonable person would dump them at the end, and not even consider trying to re-arrange this many objects if the order did not matter, and certainly not persist after establishing that trying to do so is equivalent to throwing potatoes at a wasp nest. But consider my position! Have somebody see my 2008 screenshots and THEN ones from 2005? Why I would have to buy a new hat and get the next coach out of town. And the fun thing about Flash is that moving frames is slow, laborious agony even when the whole thing DOESN’T explode and force you to start over.
And consider the glorious introduction! It progressed a bit like this:
1 I want the concept explained in the video someplace because [reason]
2 The title should be animated to show that I have some flash ability beyond piecing still images together so that people will come to my page if, pog willing, somebody actually shares this video.
3 I should incorporate my own characters into the introduction also so that it is undeniable who made it if, weather permitting, somebody actually reposts this video without context, even though nobody actually knows what those characters are.
4 The introduction needs to be longer so that the text, that is in a weird font and will be funny only to four people who played one stupid game, is readable.
5 The video’s music ends prematurely, and I can add some kind of ending noise to wrap it up.
6 The ending noise now goes beyond the original ending of the video, so I need to add some kind of closing, and it might as well call back to the intro.
7 Now there is 15 seconds of irrelevant nonsense that, if anything, will make people NOT share the video, even though I was primarily trying to account for that situation. Imagine you live each day in agony, terrified you are going to step on a concealed rake and comedically smack yourself in the head, so you buy a suit of plate armor, but the armor merchant uses the money to buy a piano to drop on you.
When that is all done, just getting a video onto youtube in a bearable format is a whole other matter. Every time I add an object, I feel like I have to relearn the process, and some different weird thing goes wrong that magically invalidates all my effort. As if viewers, and even the website itself can SENSE I am unworthy even if my content is something they would otherwise pretend to like.
Thus, it went up without a thumb’s nail preview image. Just so you know, youtube requires me to have 50 followers before I may choose my own thumbnail, and refused of that privilege, a preview gets automatically pulled from approximately midway through the video, and I am given no option to retry the selection if the selection fails to occur. And the default image that appears in such an event is “…” like a scumbag says in typed chat when passing judgement on me. Like “I have nothing to say, but I want you to feel bad so I am going to say nothing in a showy way, as if I think I’m on a sitcom or something.” Not that anything that would come up as a proper thumbnail would be meaningful, given the individual meaninglessness of the screens, but somebody who sees NO thumbnail will not touch it. Even if told “something went wrong with the SYSTEM and not me and no thumbnail was generated,” they will keep away. By the morning following the upload a preview had appeared, but the the mark had been made. They can smell my stale calculated contrariness through the internet tube and find the experience objectionable.
Most users don’t have that problem because they have cameras or operating systems specifically designed to let them megadump rubbish onto media websites with no thought or effort. If you had time to think, then you already lost! But this time I know exactly what I did! Next time I may be able to do it without thinking.
I’ll have you know I am getting very good at complaining!
Oh, I had such plans! I had enough pictures unused, since Flash was choking so much, to make a sequel video. Then I was going to do it with my Sega Gensesis screenshots, and another with regular NES pictures. I could probably do five with Doom screens. But now? I still might since I actually like the video. In fact, all this time I was whining about how terribly it came out, I secretly thought it was rather engaging and aesthetically pleasing. Many of my favorite things are terrible. I feel like I still have an awful lot left to give to the world.
A matter begun here
And continued here:
As implied earlier, this weekend I will be participating in Artspace City Wide Open Studios’ Alternative Space Weekend, which certainly seems like a long title when I make the whole thing a link.
Of note is that while the official address is 290 Goffe Street in New Haven Connecticut, United Statia, you actually enter via Hudson “One way that is probably not the direction you will be approaching in” Street,
through a gate adorned with signs warning you not to go through it, plus generous helpings of razor wire across the prison’s perimeter on the right. Or maybe I just have to enter on Hudson Street while hanging things up, and the front gate will have been breached by the time guests arrive. Honestly I am unsure, but I assure you it is possible to get in there since I have succeeded on 2 out of 3 attempts.
I will be in room 216c, on the first floor obviously, available to receive complaints noon to 6pm both days.
Observe how the view from outside the room highlights the windows and the radiator, where I cannot hang anything up. I don’t want to creep anybody out until they are in too deep to change their minds. There are numerous other artists also who will, with any luck, be more interesting and/or creepy than I am, so come to see them also in case I am not doing it for you.
I will be attempting to sell original artwork, digital art prints, greeting cards, and any other thing I can grab that legally I have some creative claim to and can also fit on the $30 folding table I just bought.
That’s right you get to see a BRAND NEW folding table fresh off the Wal-Mart rack where, judging by the condition of the others I had to move to get to this one, they have been waiting unpurchased about eight years.
This is from the Autism Services & Resources Connecticut Walk for Autism back in May, where people walk to raise money for more autism. This scene proves that I can fill eight feet of table with stupid junk. These tables belonged to the event organizer and I only have a four foot table now, so imagine how exciting it will be to see all this crammed into half the space.
Although there is no rest room, there is a toilet on the premises. Because, you know, art. But think of how much more artistic the installation will be if you use it during the exhibition.
In fact I deliberately abstained from putting a toilet in my painting because I was so certain toilets would be in abundance among other participants’ works. I am not one of those people who wants to abuse society by declaring you should give me money because I just found something gross in the street and wrote my name on it. I just think toilets are funny. But I do not think things that go in toilets or people on toilets are funny. As this is my first time at the Open Studio, I decided to not risk being misunderstood.
Obviously this abandoned toilet I saw in Paris would not count as finding something gross in the street since in France people make sure their toilets are clean and not-at-all gross before tossing them out of windows. Truly this is a city of fine art.
But they keep this sign nearby just in case.
Following from there:
In this morning’s New Haven Register newspaper can be discovered another triumph of my print-ready-file-sending intuition! The painting I am exhibiting was not finished/started at the time when I registered, so instead of that, for my designated 300×300 pixel representation I sent a segment of Cholesteronslaught, one of my historically least hated pictures.
Come see my sickly-colored amorphous blobs at city-wide open studios in New Haven next week-end!
Continued there.
If I was never meant to see these muppets, why are they being given a prime-time network television space?
I overheard a promotion for this program going on like “It’s the muppets like you’ve never seen them before!” Except I HAVE seen them before and they actually looked rather a bit like this. I do not like the “ooh yeah these are the GROWN UP muppets that are scumbags and talk about sex! They take pictures of themselves!” And then is a clip with Kermit saying in a bro voice “what can I say, I’m attracted to pigs.” Like we need to turn them into proud jerks to make them marketable, but different than the original sense that they were proud jerks in, since the initial appeal of muppets was that they were kind of pathetic and usually messed up at what they did.
I do not think sleazy Kermit devalues the original, and it may even be the most potentially lucrative decision. I just personally think it is unfortunate. Fortunately, ads also like to lie and imply that a minor uncharacteristic aspect is the most important thing or happens in a different context than intendewd because people who make decisions based on ads usually have terrible judgement, and may be more likely to continue watching a misrepresented program than somebody with good judgement. In my case, I have enough television already. If these are not my grandmother’s muppets then I will have to accept that I am a grandmother now. We already have “dark” or skeevy muppet parodies like Avenue Q and Meet the Feebles, and then every amateur video featuring a puppet ever made. Give a series to them if that is important to you.
However, I did witness the recent muppet program. It was not bad. But it was not scandalous or raunchy or whatever. I am glad it isn’t, but I wish we did not have to present it like it is to get dorks who watch ads to watch it. The promoters want me to believe there is some controversy over Kermit the frog dating a different pig muppet than before, and people who buy into that rubbish then have counter-outrage over misogynistic remarks made by internet users toward the new pig. But I saw the show and the whole point is that the seriousness of it is ridiculous. The “attracted to pigs” line that makes Kermit seem like a creep the way the ad frames it, as if I am meant to think Kermit is a cool ladies man dude, is actually designed to make Kermit seem like a dork for trying to sound like a cool ladies dude man talking like that.
This is not a revolutionary, earth shaking presentation, but it does not have to be; just by being a bearable puppet-based program it is unique. In fact the 1976-1981 Muppet Show was never canceled; Jim Henson just wanted to go make terrible movies with serious muppets instead. As far as I am concerned there has never been a definitive referendum on whether the muppet formula was working. There was the Jim Henson Hour in 1989 which was cancelled while Henson lived, but it suffered from my never having heard of it. And then Muppets Tonight which aired on flippin dippin Disney channel in 1997, during the period when it was transitioning from a pay-network to basic cable and consequently replacing its 60 years of high budget material shown ad-free with made-for-tv movies about kids with secrets who lie to their parents about it with 6 totally unnecessary commercial breaks advertising junk from the company that made the shows per hour.
Also I have not seen The Dark Crystal and it might well be just the sort of terrible that I appreciate.
But I am very discriminating with my terribles.
With all that said, I stand by, and if necessary on my earlier statements that I do not need new tv shows in my life and hope to not get stuck watching this one until such time that I decide I wish to. I like that DVDs and illegal filesharing give me some level of control of this.
Why can we not stop to appreciate the fact that we can watch any movie we want or listen to any music we want? VHS tapes were frustrating. FM radio was awful. I like being aware of that. “Binge-watching” is the only way to keep up with all the new junk. Buy everything and watch it all at once. Do not act, do not think, just watch junk every day. There will be more new junk before you finish! Watch faster! Then watch somebody play all your old video games! Then watch somebody play all your new video games! Then watch somebody draw fan art of the game! Then draw fanart of the dork playing the games! Then subscribe to this exclusive pay-per-view fanart feed! Subscribe to everything and pay money forever! You can never stop watching or paying!
Hey I came into possession of a divvid featuring episodes from the program called Breaking Bad. I watched two episodes in succession and had to stop. I felt like a slug. My thinking: if I bought copies of all the trendy tv shows and watched one episode a night for a year I would never run out.
I like having that option, but dislike being forced to use it. And people who are even more impatient buy all the pay-tv channels that this stuff debuts on, and then assume that everyone else does. Hey did you catch the new Game of Thrones? No, because I don’t buy that channel and didn’t watch the old ones either! I didn’t pay for the Disney Channel either! My experience at some better-off relatives’ house showed that the pay version was preferable, but I still would not have paid for it.
Howdy.
Mum, Peepaw, I know you don’t want to hear this, but… I’m Amy Schumer. Thank you, Ment Weekly magazine at my doctor’s office (oddly enough not in the waiting room), for giving me the strength to come out. Now I am Schuming up a schume-storm over schmere.
And thank you, doctor office pamphlets, for letting me know that other depressed people are happy and photogenic, just like me.
Although in 2015, I think it is disgraceful that we have seven Saw movies, four iPhone 6es, 700 colors of Gatorade, but still only two types of diabetes. If you elect me, Amy Schumer, for comptroller, I pledge we will have Eight different Diabeti by the end of my term.
Fo fum, the morning commute. I hope the bridge isn’t backed up again.
Another busy week. It is good to be busy, sometimes, when you are doing something useful. Unfortunately, I generally do not know how useful something is until after it has been used.
I finally did it! For the first time since 2012, the cap is BACK ON my ancient tube of Utrecht Ultramarine Blue.
So see you in 2018, Winton Naples Yellow Hue.
What I like best about oil paint: it does not mind if I am a slob. To use acrylic paint I would need “discipline” or “some idea what I was doing.” I have had the same oil tubes since 2010, and they still dispense functional pigment goop, whereas my acrylic tubes dry out completely after two uses on average, since a single mishandled re-capping can destroy it by the time I take the thing out again. Of course the oil paint costs six times as much and is probably giving me respiratory diseases, but I get to die doing something I would love if I were better at it.
This is where the tragic happens this time around.
The painting is an urk in progress.
I thought it was pretty sad until I looked back to 2011 and remembered where the last tragic happened.
Although that seemed to work. Maybe I have gone soft. Maybe I need more lethal paint and less ergonomically reasonable, department of sanitationable conditions.
This is continued roundabout there.
Gosh I hope Stephen Colbert is going to do a totally unremarkable dork wearing suit at desk with a house band and celebrity guests show so I do not make myself watch it. I do not have time to want to. I do not want to drop everything at 11:30pm to deal with it five minutes later! And my internet is too wimpy to let me watch it later. It had better be bad bad bad.
Ahoy there matey: 27% MORE. And yet, as impressed as I am, I feel under-informed by this comparison.
There is 27 percent more in this bottle than the bottle that it has 27 percent more than! Do you realize what this MEANS? It means nothing! I do not understand why this is a boastworthy feature. Also, I have never seen another relish bottle. Was there a lot of competition for that at one point? I suppose relish is called for infrequently-enough that this bottle could date back to a time when the relish wars were a hot topic.
18 is 6 more than 12. Are you keeping up so far?
Wow! This box has more in it than the box that has less in it! All because the last time I used formula, I cursed the heavens and wished that I had two point five times more than twelve point seven ozes of the formula. Ironically, this formula is incomplete since it fails to state what 2.5 x 12.7 is equal to. My kingdom for an equation!
That is more like it! 8=10 you say? oh ho, 8=12!
at some point it is not enough to state accurate figures. You can provide any old number you want provided you also provide tiny print that admits the figure makes no sense or that your comparison is questionable.
But why are we fighting? There is no reason 8 cannot equal 10 and 12. Sparkle was so ashamed at coming up short in the small number equals bigger number race that that they made their own 8=12, and if that is not enough, it is even 6x. And furthermore, 50%. Let’s just dump as many unrelated numbers and symbols on there as possible. However, for you more traditional folks who prefer a time when life was simpler, 8=10 is still available, but keep in mind that it IS 8+2. I know you don’t want to hear it but it is a basic fact of nature.
Gosh now this stuff is getting complicated. I cannot even get past “ultra regular.”
in other math news, shrek.
An elegant dragon creature has an unusual problem. I generally do wish pleasant occurrences to befall creatures that wear bowties.
I was only asked to have the creature melt and evaporate! The rest is my own fault.
A rather specific commission-animation for Mr. Brown Dragon Boy of the deviant-art website, and potentially others. This one is of course not brown, and perhaps collapses out of distaste for the discrepancy.
The situation follows-up on an earlier animation for the same instigator. Once again, not only melting, like a normal person, but evaporating afterward! What is the world coming to?
Part 3, page 08 of the questionable comic strip.
I was worried that I had lost touch with the comic through all the delays and my lack of a clear path to a conclusion, but I like this page more than many that came before it.
Unfortunately, you can tell nemitz is a scoundrel because nemitz ALWAYS thinks it is funny when elpse gets hurt.
What a ridiculous scenario. The lizard and elpse are fighting over NEMITZ. Nobody should want nemitz, much less two people trying to prove who wants nemitz more! Thankfully these are dumb imps and not people. Still, it makes me mad. The lizard thinks it is being polite by refusing the drink! It thinks it is TOO polite to drink that, even though it is causing a major problem, and it keeps saying lope. It literally does not know how to stop saying its name. After I work so hard to not say its name, it is quite rude to sabotage my work.
The Kentucky Fried chicken company is evidently banking on the negative reception to its latest line of Colonels, just glad to be worthy of comment. Subway must heard about it and figured “we can do better.” In other news, Ronald McDonald has just joined Isis.
With that in mind, I retract my remarks from seven years ago regarding Jared Fogle; as a twenty-five year old I was probably too old to be spied on by him.
Likewise, referring to Fogle as a harmless former pornography mogul was erroneous on my part.
Another tv host that I watched is done with, and I am not looking to pick up new ones.
I did watch the deely show during its previous transition, eh seventeen years ago, but I was very set in my ways then, and had not at that point been watching it for nineteen years. My sincere hope is to not make it to twenty, one because I obsess over seeing every incidence of the program, and two because I write about them, resulting in what an informal poll of my anxiety suggests are my most boring posts.
Aiding me in this stoppage is that I also stopped reading Mark Evanier’s website, in which he talks about TV hosts a lot, after I deduced that he wasn’t reading the emails I sent him simply because the name I signed them with looked fake. Which is true, but so pathetic of me that I thought it would be funny to mention. Against me is that I happen to share responsibility of assisting my father, whose physical state renders him only able to watch television and read books for hobbies, and we run out of books faster than we run out of television! It is impossible for television to run out. Curiously, it is the same person who ten years ago had the responsibility of handling my transportation to college classes because my mental state rendered me unfit to obtain a car-driving license, and I was then, as now, continually spurred to write endless commentary based on the broadcasts I encountered. Our roles have switched, but since I still prefer to not impose on others my viewing/listening preference, and in these cases, to not have the machines on at all, control of them default to any present persons who prefer them on. After that, my obsessive compulsion takes over: I MUST watch every episode, and I MUST seek them on the internet if I miss the initial broadcast, even if my connection is atrocious and inclined to battle me endlessly. Seventeen years is too long to live like that.
I do not want Trevor Noah, the next replacement host, to fail; I want him to succeed in a way that only appeals to other people, like the XBox, but not to so many people that I feel like the world is running away from me and wants me to die, so more like the Wii.
And as soon as Jon Stewart was off the air, punditry appeared to present him as someone who saw through hype and was always mentally grounded in reality and truth, an impeccable model of integrity and unmatched prowess whose likes would never be seen again through all the times. Which in saying, you become exactly the idiot Stewart devoted his program to criticizing, which means you missed the point of what you claim to appreciate him for.
But Crossfire came back! And the same sort of garbage debase debating thrives on the internet!
But Jim Cramer didn’t cause a recession! And financial garbage kept happening!
But only the ones that came on the show! And then only kind of because they are slippery, and he admitted last month that these were mostly pointless endeavors!
By treating people like deities, exaggerating their achievements and forgetting their errors, you invite more disasters in the same vein.
Gorf and yabbering resumed about “what’s stephen colbert gonna do? He isn’t “The Character” anymore!” But he is! He just did it on this show now! David Letterman, whose show Colbert is replacing, was in character. Glen Beck is in character. Gordon Ramsay is in character. Alex Trebek is in character. Your local news anchors are all presenting artificial personalities to a degree. Literally the only difference between Colbert and other entertainment show hosts is that others don’t pretend to have political views contrary to their personal beliefs. Conan O’Brien has a number of personas that go on and off to suit a situation, and has repeatedly given false yet consistent biographical information to viewers. He claims his real name is Chip Whitley, he went to the Harvard Driving School instead of the university, his mother is Edith Bunker and that Andy Richter saved his life in Vietnam. He blames Jay Leno for pushing him out of the job that he pushed Jay Leno out of. He doesn’t get to be two people. He may not even be one real person.
The previous The Daily Show host Craig Kilborn is not a comedian so much as a very strange man. His 8 second pre-taped cameo on Jon Stewart’s final show should have been funny, where he says something like “I always knew you’d run it into the ground,” if Kilborn played it straight, but he chose to film it in his wine cellar bunker wearing a ridiculous grid-lined suit, which was so odd that I was still fixated on how odd it was when Kilborn delivered his line. I had to watch it two more times before I realized Kilborn wasn’t wearing a bathrobe. Although maybe that was supposed to be part of the joke: Kilborn assumes Stewart has been fired because Kilborn lives in a wine cellar and has very little contact with the outside. And then it was just weird that Kilborn was on the show at all. Not that he was banned from appearing, but he makes people uncomfortable. And I relate to that. Never being quite sure what joke I am going with, and so I use everything, and they are often at odds, and people do not realize I have made a joke at all. Alright so why don’t I have money with which to dig a hole and live in it?
I admit that the fact that Kilborn got almost no recognition from the audience colored my awkwardvision. It wasn’t that nobody recognized him, since Vance Degeneres, who hasn’t been seen in the years since he left the Daily Show, and Mo Rocca, who hasn’t been funny, clearly got a reaction. And Dan Bakkedahl, paired with Matt Walsh, was probably the least recognizable of any of them. Literally the only thing I remember Matt Walsh doing was appearing in a best-of special (the show used to put out 4 or 5 of those a year) of his own segments, with a wrap-around sketch where he was antagonized by his own evil twin, who proclaimed near the end “now it’s time for evil twin to evil WIN!”
Dan Bakkedahl I just remember due to his name being said, and Joel McHale of The Soup (another tv show, which nobody else here watched after I donated my television, thus relieving me of my own duty to do so) mispronouncing it as Bake-a-doll. Anyway, if the studio audience recognized this gang, it recognized Kilborn; it just felt no reason to appreciate Kilborn.
There are Vance and Mo, as I said. Nice to see Vance is recovering from his stroke, not nice to see that his public appearances have been so minimal since leaving the Daily Show that evidence of one of my six all-time wikipedia edits are still on his page.
Seriously, you chose cat in tree over porkchop fire? Philistines. Also, ‘apparatuses’ is correct. Go jump in a dumpster, user:Alan_Smithee.
Celebrity Jeopardy non-winner Josh Gad’s not-necessarily-funny loudness was consistent with past appearances despite his cited salary to the contrary (and no longer being as fat). He provided a voice in the animuted film Frozen, which my father has seen but I have not. A few weeks after this show criticizes D. Trump for making his presidential pitch as “I’m rich,” this Gad that I’m supposed to like comes out and yells “Disney money, BITCH!” The difference, of course, is that Josh said “bitch.”
Stacey Grenrock-Woods, whose Daily Show reception was similar to Gad’s, did not appear, but did not appear in Book of Mormon either. She did have many more segments aired, however — 55 in total, if imdb.com is to be believed, and it is not always, since it only lists one for Gad, and I know he appeared at least four times, including this one.
By the roy, I am glad Donald Trump has the attention he is getting. The American republican party has been led by a kangaroo court of irrational loudmouth cartoon characters with no solutions as long as I have been casually acknowledging politics, long before Fox News streamlined our access to it. The party created this opportunity for somebody like Trump, and deserves everything that Trump does with the opportunity, and the party deserves to not be able to control Trump. They did not learn anything from Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sarah Palin, and this is the next stage of that. Now that the American public widely supports homosexual rights, believes in evolution and other similarly “blasphemous” endeavors, the republican party has lost Christian moral authority as a means to prop itself up, which is all it ever had, and nobody believes it anymore when it claims it’s actually talking about science instead of religion, either. Without that they just have to get more and more ridiculous to get attention. The Jon Stewart exit aired the same night as the once-recent republican debate… One of these indistinguishable dumb shows that the Daily one had little impact on the continued creation of, interviewed a focus group after the debate, because that’s safer than actually expressing an opinion for yourself, and one member chosen to speak on camera claimed to have formerly been a Trump supporter, but no longer! I cannot think what put the guy off: Trump’s total consistency with past behavior, that made him the party frontrunner and got him in the debate among the sponsored politicians to begin with?
I would love for the republican party to self destruct and allow a competent group to take its place and challenge democrats on legitimate topics instead of the some old non-topics both sides mutually agreed to fake-argue about so they could maintain their rubbish party-based electoral college system. Which seems a naive thing to say, and polls don’t amount to a hill of beans in an election over a year away, but I appreciate not knowing exactly what is going to happen next and finding an opening to have naive hopes in.
Back on topic, the less daily-like shows I view, the less aware I will be of polls and therefore the less likely I will feel the need for that manner of interlude.
